re: Well there went my day.. BS child support

Quoting Jackie Burkhart ♡:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥supermommy:</b>" Nope, I'm def not greedy, considering ... [snip!] ... smurffy bedroom. I'd smurfin' MURDER for $400 rent. What all bills do you have? Do you have a budget at all or do you wing it?"

Okay so here's my bills
$480 for rent
$50 for water
$60 for heat
$60 for electric
$50 for phone
$120 for cable/internet (which is due the end of the month and it always gets paid late because it's the least nessesary)
$160 for gasoline
I usually need to fill my gas tank up weekly ($40) to get LO to school and back every day and do the running required for my job

I get a weekly paycheck of $306
I was just approved for $200 a month foodstamps starting Jan 7th
And I get a once montly check of $150 for gasoline from my employer since my job requires driving on the clock.
And then the child support, which I'm not even sure if I should count because I don't know if it's going to be regular...
I drive a 2002 olds alero with 162k miles on so it's constantly needing something.. I just dropped $380 for a fuel pump, in november, and october I got 4 new tires that I desperately needed for $500

Quoting ♥supermommy:" Okay so here's my bills $480 for rent $50 for water $60 for heat $60 for electric $50 for phone $120 ... [snip!] ... something.. I just dropped $380 for a fuel pump, in november, and october I got 4 new tires that I desperately needed for $500"

If my car keeps needing something like every other month, I'm seriously considering getting something newer come income tax time, but I'm not sure if I can handle another montly commitment, not to mention I'd have to get full coverage. (I paid a year in full liabilitiy insurance last income tax time for like 1k I believe)

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥supermommy:</b>" Okay so here's my bills $480 for rent $50 for water $60 for heat $60 for electric $50 for phone $120 ... [snip!] ... something.. I just dropped $380 for a fuel pump, in november, and october I got 4 new tires that I desperately needed for $500"</blockquote>


Okay so your bills are $860 that's not accounting for the food stamps you've just received or the $150 gas card. If you get a weekly paycheck of $306 then you make about $1220 give or take depending if you're salary or hourly. $1220-$860 is $364. If you live with only your daughter $364 should be PLENTY for you guys to go grocery shopping. That's not even taking the $200 a month for food stamps into it PLUS your help from WIC. You should have plenty of money left..maybe not to go take her to Disneyland but, that's plenty. I'm not even implying like your BF shouldn't pay anything because your daughter deserves her support.

I understand the car thing, I do.. something always comes up for us too, I get it. Have you ever sat down and tried to really budget and stick to it? To figure out where exactly your money is going? DH and I try but, something always happens. That's our New Year's Resolution to budget better.

The way your portraying yourself to single mothers that are usually single mothers who have awful BD's isn't favorable. Some women pay their BD's support, some get $50 or less a month, some get nothing..some who really need it, who REALLY struggle..I mean struggle, like buying food to eat instead of Christmas presents...not knowing where your next meal is coming from. Not knowing how you'll get to work because you have no gas or no one to babysit because you can't afford childcare. Then you have the mothers who are denied benefits for their children yet, cant afford to feed them. People are jumping your ass because it seems like you have more than enough to be okay with receiving the $111/month yet, you are complaining to the women who don't have any money left over for anything who get nothing.

It's fine to vent and be disappointed but, always know someone has it far worse than you and you should be very grateful to have a BD who willingly supports his child, is in her life, in your life, seems to try his best, and to manage okay for yourself.


You make yourself look terrible when you say things like what you've said to women who have no sympathy for your type of complaints. Your complaints are petty to them. That's the issue, you're complaining about something that's not worth complaining about on a public forum to women who have far greater problems than not having spending money when your child's father does.

Life's not fair, but we get the hell over it. If your child was suffering because your BD doesn't want to pay CS, that's different..but, she's just fine, right? She's well fed? Sees a doctor regularly? You receive benefits so I'm assuming she manages just fine even without your BD's contributions. You just simply seemed upset because you had to spend and sacrifice more than he did. Its part of being a mom. We always sacrifice a lot more than Dad.

If you really were a super mommy, you'd understand. ;)

Quoting Jackie Burkhart ♡:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥supermommy:</b>" Okay so here's my bills $480 for ... [snip!] ... did. Its part of being a mom. We always sacrifice a lot more than Dad. If you really were a super mommy, you'd understand. ;)"

Well I apologize for seeming to be greedy but I'm really not. I am grateful that BD is helping but he hasn't always been like this.. He's been on and off herion b ut clean for almost 18 months now but still struggling with him doing suboxone that he's not rx'd and also the wasting of money on marijuana so he's far from the worlds greatest dad and I've raised LO without his help for far too long, so I feel that I'm entitled to a lot of help now that he is starring to get his life straightened out...I work 40 hours a week and go to class or clinical 25 hours a week, so I'm just tired and pissed at life sometimes, but def not greedy.

Quoting Jackie Burkhart ♡:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥supermommy:</b>" Okay so here's my bills $480 for ... [snip!] ... did. Its part of being a mom. We always sacrifice a lot more than Dad. If you really were a super mommy, you'd understand. ;)"

I'm really not a single mom, we are "together" but not living together, he stays the night frequently but his stuff isn't here and he has an address at grandma's.. We don't want to move him back into my apt until things between us are good, so LO doesn't have to see him packing his smurf up and leaving , THAT would be unstable.

Quoting ♥supermommy:" If my car keeps needing something like every other month, I'm seriously considering getting something ... [snip!] ... mention I'd have to get full coverage. (I paid a year in full liabilitiy insurance last income tax time for like 1k I believe)"

Aleros are peices of smurf gas hogs sell now while its still running

Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:" Aleros are peices of smurf gas hogs sell now while its still running "

The motor and tranny are actually running really good.. Just stupid little things keep needing replaced........and I get around 25mpg highway..

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jackie Burkhart ♡:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥supermommy:</b>" Okay so here's my bills $480 for ... [snip!] ... did. Its part of being a mom. We always sacrifice a lot more than Dad. If you really were a super mommy, you'd understand. ;)"</blockquote>




This was very very well said!

It is probably because you earn more than him.

BD got $60/month because I bring home about $1200 after taxes, and he gets paid under the table or doesn't work. That's like, a week of school for her. He's never paid it. I've gotten maybe $100 total from him in her whole life, and she just turned 5. And that money was like... $10 to $20 here and there and was before she was 2. And he's STOLEN over $1500 from me.

Whatevs. I make enough to comfortably provide for her without him, he can go on smurfing around with his life.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:</b>" It is probably because you earn more than him. BD got $60/month because I bring home about $1200 after ... [snip!] ... $1500 from me. Whatevs. I make enough to comfortably provide for her without him, he can go on smurfing around with his life."</blockquote>



This sounds exactly like my BD. only I havent gotten a dime from him and LO is 3. He would rather sit in jail then support our son. He even asked to have his rights terminated which is fine because my fiance is going to adopt him after we get married in june.

I can't believe I read this whole post. I get that you want him to help out, and yeah court system sucks. But come on, you make 1200 a month after taxes. He makes between 600-800. Yeah he probably is capable of making1000, but that doesn't mean he's going to make that much. And how do you know he doesn't have other bills? You're making yourself sound money hungry on here. Saying he should pay to see her. What if your daughter lived with him, and you had to pay support? Yeah I would stop complaining about the amount. At least your getting something. I only got a $30.00 CS payment, and I make LESS than 1600 a month, and I live with a roommate

Quoting ~Boo's Mom~:" I can't believe I read this whole post. I get that you want him to help out, and yeah court system sucks. ... [snip!] ... At least your getting something. I only got a $30.00 CS payment, and I make LESS than 1600 a month, and I live with a roommate"

It's just a weird situation.. when I first posted this, I was mad at bd, we have a rocky relationship but never really break up totally. He stays with me all the time and the reason he doesn't actually live here is so he can go "home" if we start fighting too much and the fact that when we moved here, he said he would either pay all the utilities, which is like $400 OR the rent, which is $480, and he really couldn't with the size of his paychecks, so then the amount went down to him contributing $300 a month, THEN he decided he didn't want to TECHNICALLY live with me so he didn't have to pitch in that much, so then our agreed amount of cs went to $200, but his one check was really smurffy, like $200 for 2 weeks and he wouldn't give me $100, and then this happened again, and by the third time I took him to court because I was fed up with it, and then to top it off the court only ordered $111 because he has another son who's 7 who he doesn't see or pay support for and if it wasn't for him having another kid, LO would be entitled to $210 a month. So YEAH, I WAS pissed, KEYWORD is WAS. I'm not pissed now. We finally decided on a set amount of $80 every two weeks (and it's going to be puti into the order when the court house opens wednesday) and then he's also going to pitch in more when he's able to because his checks are usually like $350-$400 but sometimes they suck really bad too.

Quoting ♥supermommy:" It's just a weird situation.. when I first posted this, I was mad at bd, we have a rocky relationship ... [snip!] ... going to pitch in more when he's able to because his checks are usually like $350-$400 but sometimes they suck really bad too. "

And I know what bills he has.
$60 for cell phone- which he lets get shut off, because having pocket money is more important and he just uses my phone 
And his fines, they are like $100-$150 a month.
Plus he gets $200 a month foodstamps, that he does stupid stuff with and then eats my food.

I'm stupid for letting it go on, but I just don't know what to do, I want to keep the peace with him, but I also want him to man up and grow up.
But I am for sure not money hungry what so ever. He also has a lovely cigarette habit that probably costs $150 or more a month and then anytime he has extra money he buys weed. So you can go ahead and call me a money hungry bitch, but it's seriously like babysitting a little kid who blows all his money on stupid smurf meanwhile I'm busting my ass.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥supermommy:</b>" And I know what bills he has. $60 for cell phone- which he lets get shut off, because having pocket ... [snip!] ... bitch, but it's seriously like babysitting a little kid who blows all his money on stupid smurf meanwhile I'm busting my ass. "</blockquote>



I know old hqbits die hard.but.the more you contijue to allow him to axt like a child then the longer it will tqke him to grow up. He might be a great father but everything he does in his life wil affect your daughter in the long run. you have to ask yourself if he is the type of role model you want her to have. I am aorry about all the things I said but to mw it sounded like all you wanted was more money. He needs to grow up and realize that selling his food stamps could get him in serious trouble and ultimatly remove him from your life qnd your.daughters lifw because he could end up in federal prision.

Quoting B&Js Mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥supermommy:</b>" And I know what bills he has. $60 ... [snip!] ... in serious trouble and ultimatly remove him from your life qnd your.daughters lifw because he could end up in federal prision."

Yeah that's why he goes back to his grandma's when he starts getting on my nerves being a mooch for so long, and I just wish I had the strength to break up completely but he will go to his grandmas for a few days and then we will miss each other, and the cycle starts again, and I know what you mean, I wouldn't want lo getting with a guy like him, so I don't know why I am, and it sucks to. be in love with him & a child with him to top it off.