Quoting Back to Noob Status:" I can't say from personal experience, but from what I've observed, working moms have to do all the work ... [snip!] ... and being married, and she had to take care of three small children AND work maaannnnyyyy hours a week at a high-level job."

Yes & no - that thinking implies that kids go on pause all day when you make it out as if moms who have jobs do "all the work" SAHMs do - everything but chase kids around all day & clean up all the messes they make all.day.long....I can promise you, I did much much less physical work when I had a job than I do now. I was not nearly as physically tired at 5pm... I used to come home & dance with my toddler every.single.day. There is no such thing happening that late in the day since I've been home. Momma is pooped by that time, dancing is an early in the day thing or it isn't happening. LOL

Quoting justanothamotha:" Yes & no - that thinking implies that kids go on pause all day when you make it out as if moms who ... [snip!] ... in the day since I've been home. Momma is pooped by that time, dancing is an early in the day thing or it isn't happening. LOL"

I also think it depends on the kind of work the working mother does. For example, I plan on doing nursing. Nursing can very laborious and straining physically, as opposed to a desk job where I'm on my arse most of the day.

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" I also think it depends on the kind of work the working mother does. For example, I plan on doing nursing. ... [snip!] ... nursing. Nursing can very laborious and straining physically, as opposed to a desk job where I'm on my arse most of the day."

I agree. Some jobs are very demanding. My job is demanding, I work with toddlers so I don't get a break from children. (except the bathroom of course). My cousin is a single mom pulling 15 hour shifts are her job, some through the night till morning (She is a manager at BK).

NEITHER, I repeat NEITHER is harder than the other, as soon as ppl realize this we can stop competing as moms and get off our soap boxes and trying to out do one another. Both have their advantages, both have their disadvantages, both have reasons why they could be harder/easier/. Being a MOM is hard enough without feeling like we need to compete on who has it harder. The ONLY reason we compete at things like this is because ppl in society make us feel we need to and make us feel if we are not doing one or the other that in some way we are inadequate as mothers so we feel we have to justify what we are doing. Okay sorry for the little rant, i am just sick of this whole arguement as to who has it hardest, FYI, if your a mom, a good one who cares and loves her children, WE ALL DO! ...end of story, end of arguement.

Quoting justanothamotha:" I REALLY don't mean this as a competition. I don't. I am just trying to see how different personalities ... [snip!] ... their take on it is. I love it - I just wish I had about 3 more hours in every day when everyone else was out of my way.  "

Working is harder.
Being a SAHM MAY be more tiring but it depends on how many kids, pets and square feet you are caring for.
Also, some jobs are relatively easy and low-stress.

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" I also think it depends on the kind of work the working mother does. For example, I plan on doing nursing. ... [snip!] ... nursing. Nursing can very laborious and straining physically, as opposed to a desk job where I'm on my arse most of the day."

Very much agree. The type of work a person does is an important variable. I have a very physically demanding job and I am nearly spent at the end of the work day. As I'd said before, working at my own pace as a SAHM was much easier.

Depends on what the job at home is versus the job at work.

A few normal kids versus an extremely demanding job? Work is harder.
A whole bunch of kids, or kids with special needs, versus a normal or easy job? SAHM harder.

For me, working would be easier. I have a whole mess of kids, including but not limited to foster children (who are always high needs due to their situations), a special needs child, and a pack of preteens. I'd still rather be home, whether it's easier or harder, because this is where my life's work is, but some days (like all last week) I do wish I had a job to escape to! Not today though, today has been awesome.

For me, working is harder. I would rather be at home with my son. But I have a month left at work here before I go on mat leave for a year so we'll see how it goes. Im sure ill be complaining to go back to work hehe.

Quoting Derpamena Diane Pie:" Depends on what the job at home is versus the job at work. A few normal kids versus an extremely demanding ... [snip!] ... work is, but some days (like all last week) I do wish I had a job to escape to! Not today though, today has been awesome."

I feel you on wanting a place to escape too lol.

Something being "hard" is completely subjective and entirely depends on the individual.

Quoting bbbt:" Something being "hard" is completely subjective and entirely depends on the individual. "

Exactly, once ppl learn that concept the world would be a lot less judgmental place lol.

Quoting **Blessed Insanity **:" Exactly, once ppl learn that concept the world would be a lot less judgmental place lol."

I don't know why it's such a competition anyway. Congrats your life is harder than mine I guess?  

Quoting bbbt:" I don't know why it's such a competition anyway. Congrats your life is harder than mine I guess?  "

Lol I know right? Its like they think that if they prove they have it harder that means they are better or something? I dont get it. Everyone has trials and everyone has hardships, none of us are exempt, its those who deal with them and dont sit there and make it into some sort of look at what I did or overcame so that makes me better than you, that truly in my opinon are the strong ones.

Quoting bbbt:" I don't know why it's such a competition anyway. Congrats your life is harder than mine I guess?  "

I don't get it either. I think people just want to be martyrs and it's an attention seeking thing. It's the grown up version of the emo kid.

Sometimes that self-righteous feeling does sneak up on me when I've had a particularly hard day. And in my defense, I have chosen an unusual life for myself and it has challenges others do not even think of. BUT. I did choose the life I have, and I lack many if not most of the hardships that others do. I have an education; opportunities; a materially comfortable life; a great family support structure; and a husband who is as involved as I am and we have a great relationship.

I see people on here who every day are struggling to feed their kids, can't educate themselves or their family, can't find a job, have no opportunities in life, have abusive partners and can't leave, and whose own families were absent or destructive from the get-go, and I think, "I have NOTHING to complain about."
Their lives are way "harder" from where I stand, because I have no reference point for any of those struggles. And if they were looking at my life, they'd probably think the same thing about some of the things that seem normal or at least not so bad to me, but which most other people have no experience coping with.

Between easy street and miserably and pitifully hard, everything else is just shades of gray.

I've done both, but staying at home loses it's appeal after a while. It's easier, in my opinion, you get one person to focus on keeping everything in the house straight and care for the kids. When both parties work, you both have to work and then come home and care for the house and stuff on top of it.

Even though it was easier for me, I think I would like to work at least part time at all times. I NEED to be out of the house sometimes. Right now is perfect - I am considered a full time employee with salary when my probationary period is over and I only work 25 hours a week until they hire more people to fill the open driver spots.