re: Will it be your childs choice to be gay?

Quoting The (super kinky) Master:"   I'm pansexual so my sexuality is incredibly fluid. OP your mum sounds like a religious zealot and an idiot. Your sister is who she is ... her fear of men needs to be looked at seriously."

instead of assuming its not being looked at, maybe you should ask first....shes already being helped.

Quoting ~Elliott's.Mommy~:" instead of assuming its not being looked at, maybe you should ask first....shes already being helped."

I don't think she meant it to be rude. She was just trying to help. My son is gay and if it is a choice thats the best choice he has made  

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" It can absolutely be a choice. I know people who have made that choice."</blockquote>




I disagree but I won't go into a discussion right now

I think it's a bit of both.

Being gay isn't a "choice" but neither is sexuality something that all people are born with, set in stone. Lots of our experiences can mold and change our sexuality. For some this can be abuse or trauma which then molds their sexuality. If a person is unable to be comfortable or find any attraction to men due to trauma or abuse, then it CAN affect their sexuality for sure. Does this mean if they got over it they'd be straight? Not really, it's just a factor. There is a whole range of sexuality, from VERY gay/straight to a mix of the two (or neither at all). Experience can shift where we sit on that range a bit, but IMO there are VERY few people who are 100% straight or gay to begin with. I think most people sit somewhere in the center, and that experiences and time can alter where exactly on the range a person is at that point in their life.

I don't think it's a choice. I think you are born gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, whatever. I think it's your choice to act upon those feelings and urges.

But honestly at 12, everyone's bi.  

Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:" Sexuality is fluid. Not everyone is *born* gay or straight or bisexual. Your preferences can change over ... [snip!] ... stone the day you are born is ignorant to the full range of human sexuality. I didn't start liking girls until I was like 19. "

I agree with this and had the same experience. I didn't really start having feelings for the same gender until I was around 17 - 18. But I don't think it's anyone's "choice" to have those feelings.

Also - your mother owes your sister a huge smurfing apology.

Quoting LolaMcKitten:" I agree with this and had the same experience. I didn't really start having feelings for the same gender ... [snip!] ... But I don't think it's anyone's "choice" to have those feelings. Also - your mother owes your sister a huge smurfing apology. "

good luck getting one.

Quoting ~Elliott's.Mommy~:" My 12 year old sister has decised she is bisexual because shes afraid of men. I told my mom because my ... [snip!] ... only she knows her reasons. I told her I support her and love her the same. It made me sad that our own mom doesnt support her"

I think many, many girls her age have feelings for both sexes. and, at that age, she may be overwhelmed at the idea of "boys," especially since the trauma she has had. if she isnt in counseling, it may help. the counseling should be for the trauma and NOT for her sexuality.
Tell your mom to figure out how to give motherly advice and to not bring God in as a substitute for comfort and love and rational explanations of things.