need some advice.....long

i will try to make this as short as possible. here is a little history first...my stepson has lived with my husband and i since he turned 3. his mother was seeing him on weekends but moved to Mexico in October. He has been extremely upset/confused/hurt as you could imagine. she keeps changeing the date of when she will return to visit him. first it was a couple months, then December, now July. Anyway to get to my point of this post, he is turning 8 in March. I want to throw him a special party and really make an effort to show him how much he is loved, especially with his mom not going to be around for it. We never threw parties together, she always celebrated with him and her side of his family on their own. Im debating if it is a good idea to include her family in our plans. they still see him and take him to visit occasionally. i just dont know if that would be weird for me to do since i havent in the past? i want to avoid his grandma feeling obligated to throw him a party since his mom isnt going to be there....because i think that would just be a huge reminder that she isnt around for him. and even more so if she doesnt plan anything so they can attend and he know they care. any suggestions???

If everyone gets along and there won’t be any drama to add to your sons distress then I think you should invite them. I think it’s a really sweet idea  

I think people should be able to set aside differences for a few hours out of one day to come celebrate a little boy they love dearly. I think it's great to have a combined party.

Id call the gma and ask if she wants to come or have her own. Let her know how hard of a time hes having and see what she says.

thanks for the suggestions   with his mom combined parties were never an option. she has some issue, obviously. her family has never caused any kind of drama though, they keep it about him. i think im going to get some more ideas from him first as to what he wants on his day and then go from their as to who is invited. i would like to atleast get everyone together at a park or something for cake and singing happy bday though...

If everyone gets along, then why not? Perhaps ask his grandma what she thinks, she may even want to be included in some of the party planning. I think it's a lovely and thoughtful idea :-)