re: Got pushed in my stomach hard, is it bad?

<blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting kate & ... [snip!] ... abuse neglect cases. I'm entitled to an opinion. Just because I happen to disagree with you doesn't mean I don't know anything."</blockquote>




Okay, everyone's entitled to opinion but when you state your opinion as fact and it's false fact, I'm going to correct you

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy ... [snip!] ... Okay, everyone's entitled to opinion but when you state your opinion as fact and it's false fact, I'm going to correct you"</blockquote>




No it was all meant as an opinion. But once again I have my opinion and you have yours so whatever.

It's the same here. I was in an abusive relationship for 6years (my first borns father). The abuse got real bad after DD was born....4years in. Took me forever to leave as he put me down, told me I would never find anyone else....which I believed. When DD was 2 years old I finally did.
He wanted full custody, so we had to go through mediation, coz obviously there was no way I would agree. The mediator gave him visitation rights for 3 days a week, even after she knew everything that had happened, and him even threatening to take her and never bring her back.
I turned up at the arranged drop off place for 3 weeks straight without him even showing up. Then one day he was there....and drinking. (Which he wasn't allowed to have any alcohol or drugs whilst she was in his care). I locked the car doors and said he couldn't take her. He then started kicking the car on her side, and tried to smash the window to take her out. I then took off and headed straight home. I could see him and his new gf following me so I drove to the police station.
They held my daughter and I there for 6 hours for our safety, and they applied for n AVO against him and pressed charges.
We went to court on and off for 6months and in the end, after all the smurf that had happened, the judge STILL gave him unsupervised visitation rights!!! Which I was petrified about. Even thought about running away with her to ANYWHERE he couldn't find us.
Thankfully though he took off and moved 9 hours away with his gf and 6years later we still haven't seen or heard from him  

Long story I know, but the moral here is....the legal system is smurfed!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mumzy...:</b>" It's the same here. I was in an abusive relationship for 6years (my first borns father). The abuse got ... [snip!] ... later we still haven't seen or heard from him   Long story I know, but the moral here is....the legal system is smurfed!"</blockquote>


It's hard to get no visitation set if you don't have proof. Police reports, hospital records, etc. when you don't have those them it's your word against his

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mumzy...:</b>" It's the same here. I was in an abusive relationship ... [snip!] ... set if you don't have proof. Police reports, hospital records, etc. when you don't have those them it's your word against his"</blockquote>


I had plenty of proof. Like when he came to the police station abusing the officers coz they wouldn't give him any info as to where we were. Like when he left the station and found my car parked out front and started kicking it again and trying to rip the plates off it, while police were watching him do it.

I also had all of the paperwork from the mediation agreement plus about 10 letters from friends and family stating what he was like. Not to mention the proof of all the scars he left on me, and including a hospital report from the time he tried to slit my throat.

So even with all the proof, the legal system is still smurfed.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mumzy...:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mumzy...:</b>" ... [snip!] ... a hospital report from the time he tried to slit my throat. So even with all the proof, the legal system is still smurfed."</blockquote>


In the eyes of the law scars aren't proof. You could cut your leg doing something and then say he did it to you out of spite for him. Him messing with your car is also not endangering your child, it's criminal mischief. And unless you have a police report to go with the hospital report it doesn't hold much power because again, you could be saying it out of spite. All-in-all you need police reports for everything.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mumzy...:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:</b>" ... [snip!] ... doesn't hold much power because again, you could be saying it out of spite. All-in-all you need police reports for everything."</blockquote>


You sure do have an opinion for everything don't you?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mumzy...:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mumzy...:</b>" ... [snip!] ... All-in-all you need police reports for everything."</blockquote> You sure do have an opinion for everything don't you?"</blockquote>




That's not an opinion, that's fact. You can't expect a judge to be like "oh she says it happened so it did".

Hmm ok wtvr. There was a lot more that went on and that I could've posted, but I would be here all night. Now all laws are the same in every country, but you have all your facts, so I'm not going to get into a debate over it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mumzy...:</b>" Hmm ok wtvr. There was a lot more that went on and that I could've posted, but I would be here all night. ... [snip!] ... night. Now all laws are the same in every country, but you have all your facts, so I'm not going to get into a debate over it."</blockquote>




It doesn't matter where you live you have to have proof if you expect anything to be done

Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Samanthaaaa ... [snip!] ... just hand 50/50 custody to them, when that happens its usually because there was no proof and it was only he said she said"

My ex fully admitted to abuse and he STILL has 50/50 over our child, all he had to do was take anger management classes (that have NOT helped)
Granted, he never hit our child, but that doesn't mean he wont!

a law like that is a lose/lose situation for the person being abused

<blockquote><b>Quoting BetterOffSingle!:</b>" My ex fully admitted to abuse and he STILL has 50/50 over our child, all he had to do was take anger ... [snip!] ... he never hit our child, but that doesn't mean he wont! a law like that is a lose/lose situation for the person being abused"</blockquote>



Okay, so I guess we should just do away with it and let kids keep watching their parents get abused. Makes sense

Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mumzy...:</b>" Hmm ok wtvr. There was a lot more that went on ... [snip!] ... over it."</blockquote> It doesn't matter where you live you have to have proof if you expect anything to be done"

apparently she had proof.
but her having proof isn't good enough for you.
you are just making excuses and blaming a victim of past abuse.
=/

<blockquote><b>Quoting BetterOffSingle!:</b>" apparently she had proof. but her having proof isn't good enough for you. you are just making excuses and blaming a victim of past abuse. =/"</blockquote>




Scars aren't proof. And I haven't blamed her for anything.

I just wanted to say its easier said then done to just leave him. Especially being pregnant with his child. But when i was with my daughters father i tried many times to leave and found myself right back with him. But 7 months after she was born i had realized nothing was ever going to change and i wasnt happy and i knew i had to be happy to make the best life for my daughter. When addilynn was three months he was telling her mommy was a whore. Then one day, on an actual good day i knew it was time to finally move on for the sake of her. It may take time for you to realize you and your child deserve better and hopefully youll get out. I kno where your coming from her dad made me feel like i could never find anyone else. But at that point i cared less about a man and was only worried about my precious child. I now four yrs later found the man of my dreams who treats me the way every good woman deserves. Itll come together hun everything just takes time.