re: Got pushed in my stomach hard, is it bad?

Quoting Samanthaaaa ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:</b>" Unless you've been there, you cannot understand ... [snip!] ... once laid a finger on me. I'm just genuinely curious, if your daughter wasn't being abused what does she need protection from?"

Well, last year he showed her a gun and said he was going to kill me with it so she could live with him... and then tried to kidnap her.

I have a restraining order against him now, and he cannot come near anyone in my family including my daughter.

I honestly believe that when she's older, he would have hit her when she didn't listen to him.

<blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting DaniKayT:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" ... [snip!] ... it can be considered child endangerment. It's the stupidest law but I wanted you to know. So you don't end up where I have been"</blockquote>




Um no, it is by far NOT the stupidest law. It's one of the most logical laws we have. Why would they allow a child to remain in that situation!?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting DaniKayT:</b>" ... [snip!] ... NOT the stupidest law. It's one of the most logical laws we have. Why would they allow a child to remain in that situation!?"</blockquote>




I would agree it's not stupid if they didn't turn around and give 50/50 custody to the abuser.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:</b>" Victim blaming. The mother is a victim but will be punished because she was too scared or too weak to leave. "</blockquote>



As a parent you're supposed to protect your child. Having them in a situation like that isn't protecting them, it's a toxic situation and if the parent won't remove the child, someone else needs to.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:</b>" Unless you've been there, you cannot understand it. My daughter wasn't abused by my ex. Yes, she witnessed ... [snip!] ... she witnessed some of it, but she wasn't abused. And when I left, he got plenty of visitation... so how was she protected? "</blockquote>



I've been there and I still completely disagree with you

My mom stayed with a man like that (2nd husband) and he ended up throwing their baby (1 YO) down cement stairs because he got mad at my mom. She's 15 now and still has an awful scar.

<blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Samanthaaaa ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... blame the victim and not help them or the children in any way. The only rights they care about tend to be those of the abuser."</blockquote>



If she tells the truth and files a report now she can use that to help with custody. She can also request supervised visitations. Generally if there's proof (medical records, police reports, etc) that the abuse happened they don't just hand 50/50 custody to them, when that happens its usually because there was no proof and it was only he said she said

<blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Brittanie Blokker-Brandt:</b>" Ya, and im pretty sure thats ... [snip!] ... Honestly the law only cares about the rights of the parents in my opinion. Particularly the rights of the abuser."</blockquote>



Then you don't know much about the law.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Brittanie Blokker-Brandt:</b>" I guess its different in oklahoma. Here if you document and you have the proof (ie her going to the ... [snip!] ... support system seem to be the best cures for these things. He cannot be given custody when it is proven that he is an abuser."</blockquote>




It's like that almost everywhere. The problem is that people fail to have proof and expect the judge to take their word on a hearsay issue.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Samanthaaaa ... [snip!] ... just hand 50/50 custody to them, when that happens its usually because there was no proof and it was only he said she said"</blockquote>




Yes for a little while. They only do supervised visits for so long, what happens when the child is 10? All he has to do is a case plan in most cases. After that yea it might take him a few years but he'll eventually get visitation.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Brittanie ... [snip!] ... parents in my opinion. Particularly the rights of the abuser."</blockquote> Then you don't know much about the law."</blockquote>



Are you a lawyer?

<blockquote><b>Quoting V & E's Mom! [27 weeks]:</b>" leave him. and if you feel like you need to be seen, then go get seen."</blockquote>



!!!

<blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting kate & ... [snip!] ... he has to do is a case plan in most cases. After that yea it might take him a few years but he'll eventually get visitation."</blockquote>




Not necessarily.

<blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting kate & ... [snip!] ... rights of the abuser."</blockquote> Then you don't know much about the law."</blockquote> Are you a lawyer?"</blockquote>




No, I just know what I'm talking about

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Lovelyyy ... [snip!] ... much about the law."</blockquote> Are you a lawyer?"</blockquote> No, I just know what I'm talking