Ex threatening to fight child support. Need advice

I have a beautiful baby girl. She's 5 months. I'm so in love with her I can't stand it and this is a really hard thing I'm going through so please be as civil as possible. And I apologize for the babbling in advance.

I've been with my bf for 6+ years. I will admit he is not someone I should be with, although I don't take a tear or heartbreak back because I have her. I've been cheated on, lied to, he has multiple duis petty thefts. his family despises me. Especially his mom and sisters. We lived together up till she was 3 months. We were fighting alot, which I feel is normal when it comes to adapting to a new situation. Except one night he had a friend over. He and his friend got plastered. His friend started doing drugs in the bathroom and my ex started saying out loud how he wants the single life. When I told his friend to leave because I don't want my baby around that he yelled for us to get the smurf out.

After that night I knew it was not going to be good. Within a month he told me he is broke. That he can't afford rent. I know that's not true. Yes we would be struggling but not hopeless. I didn't want to break up my family. No I did not have a job. I was caring for our baby, and I wanted to wait till at least 6 months to help. We could have made it, but he didn't have his fun money. That was a problem.

He sent my daughter and I back home. Within a week he broke up with me.

In the meantime through this all, I've had drama with his family. They have told me I'm not family and I don't matter, that I make him miserable.

They sent me to the hospital at 5 months because of their harassment and I was hospitalized. After that day I told him I do not want them around till she's born for my sake and my daughters. It was just towards his sisters. I kept in contact with his mother the whole time she was in the hospital.

After she was born I had his mom over. That night he had a few beers and let lose. With my baby in my arms he screamed and yelled. My mom came over to try to talk him down. He told her his sisters will mean more than I and her ever will.

After that they were in contact again, which I never cared about I just wanted a healthy pregnancy.

Soon his mom was telling him and I they demand to see our baby. That they have a right to her and I am not welcome. They told him to take her from me and leave me and I will never be welcome around my baby when they are around.

You can say I'm selfish and wrong but no one is going to tell me I can't go where she is.

This has been an ongoing thing. In the meantime he is welcome in her life while we aren't together when ever he wants.

As I'm trying to get my life back on track since he has kicked me to the curb with my daughter, my car has broken down. I'm doing my best to find a job and go back to school but in the meantime I need medi cal and possibly cash aid till I can fix my car. Which means I will have to file child support because he doesn't live with her.

He just told me tonight he will go to court and fight me to lower it because she doesn't need that much money. He only pays for his phone and car insurance. His mom pays for the rest. He's 30. Im scared ill look stupid if I ask for any help because I don't have a job yet and I'm struggling,

I'm also worried about his family's intentions if I let her over there. From the bottom of my heart. And I'm scared he will get what he wants, I can't afford a lawyer but he can. Obviously.

I'm sorry I went on and on. And there is so much more to it, I just am so lost. And heartbroken. Any advice please.

Quoting kgh41:" I have a beautiful baby girl. She's 5 months. I'm so in love with her I can't stand it and this is a ... [snip!] ... I'm sorry I went on and on. And there is so much more to it, I just am so lost. And heartbroken. Any advice please."

It is a court ordered amount. It is based off certain calculations. He is required to pay what the judge orders. And for 30 still having mommy care for him? What a joke. Don't stress. He might just be using it as a threat to get you scared.

Quoting kgh41:" I have a beautiful baby girl. She's 5 months. I'm so in love with her I can't stand it and this is a ... [snip!] ... I'm sorry I went on and on. And there is so much more to it, I just am so lost. And heartbroken. Any advice please."

Wow sorry you are going through all that.
He really doesn't have a say so. They will look at his income and take the mandatory percentage out of it that the state allows. He can't fight it.

Don't let him have her unless there is a visitation order in place.

It is very hard to have a child support order reduced unless there is a major change in material circumstances like he lost his job or he gets joint physical custody.

If he takes it to court with that argument, the judge will just laugh at him...

Thanks. I just am trying so hard and everything is just going wrong.

he can TRY to get it lowered but it will only go to a judge and the judge will not lower it because HE thinks she doesn't need too much money!!! they take a percentage of his check and split cost such as day care down the middle. he will really only screw his self over!!!!

Go to court. Unless there are extreme circumstances, child support and visitation is rarely redone before 3 years or whateve your states time frame is.
Flat out, because of his past and his family I would fight tooth and nail for supervised visitation by a state assigned social worker.

States set up income percentages for a reason, because of dead beat dads who don't want to pay for their child.. but they sure as hell can pay for their fun money.
And for smurfs sake, he's 30!!?? It's high time he grows up and leaves mommy and sisters out of things.

I'm very sorry you're going through this, it's never easy going through a custody battle. I've been there.

I honestly feel like he doesn't have her best interest at heart and they consider her property. I want supervised visitation. I do not trust him his family or friends. The fact I am not allowed on their drive way and he can only pick her up I can't go over scares me. Plus I don't want her growing up in an environment where "mommy can't call grandma and auntie says mommy is bad" I want civil relationships. Hate me but be civil and don't say I can't walk her in! I made her!

Call your state's bar association and ask if there are any lawyers in your area taking pro bono cases.

First of I'd get a ppo or something. Drugs and drinking around and infant and threatening you while holding the child are a big no.

Second let him take you to court. My BD took me to court because 225 was too much for him but he now has to pay almost 500 since he had it reviewed LOL!

You need to get custody set up.

Good luck momma, I'm going through all this smurf right now. It sucks and takes forever but it is worth it!

Quoting kgh41:" I honestly feel like he doesn't have her best interest at heart and they consider her property. I want ... [snip!] ... and auntie says mommy is bad" I want civil relationships. Hate me but be civil and don't say I can't walk her in! I made her!"

The most wonderful thing is... it is 100% against the law to slander and degrade the other parent. That includes Grandmas, sisters, daddy, friends etc... It's a power trip they're all on. They talk him up like he's a great father and you're taking advantage and taking all of his money. It's pretty typical. Moms always wanting to baby their grown ass child. With his priors... hopefully you get a judge who isn't a lets hug it out and love each other type.

My judge was like that, and she made a gigantic mistake awarding my ex sperm donor anything. He gave up his rights 8 months later.

Good luck, it's hard. VERY HARD. I broke down a lot. But you are your daughers only advocate. He sounds like he's only worried about the money. In which they figure out quickly if they get more time with the child they pay less money.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Had my 10/10/10 baby!:</b>" First of I'd get a ppo or something. Drugs and drinking around and infant and threatening you while holding ... [snip!] ... get custody set up. Good luck momma, I'm going through all this smurf right now. It sucks and takes forever but it is worth it!"</blockquote>




I feel like if they wanted to see her they would I've asked for lunches to come over everything and they say no but then yell at me I keep them and him away. It's just to hurt me.

<blockquote><b>Quoting K[♥ E&C]:</b>" The most wonderful thing is... it is 100% against the law to slander and degrade the other parent. ... [snip!] ... he's only worried about the money. In which they figure out quickly if they get more time with the child they pay less money."</blockquote>





I feel like if they wanted to see her they would I've asked for lunches to come over everything and they say no but then yell at me I keep them and him away. It's just to hurt me.

<blockquote><b>Quoting K[♥ E&C]:</b>" The most wonderful thing is... it is 100% against the law to slander and degrade the other parent. ... [snip!] ... he's only worried about the money. In which they figure out quickly if they get more time with the child they pay less money."</blockquote>


Heck yes! Dead beat dads act hard as hell but all wimp out in the end!

My BD took me to court saying he wanted joint custody and legal rights less child support and every other weekend. He also said I needed to pay him. When my DD lived me for 2 years never saw him and he didn't pay a cent. I was so scared and upset.

As soon as he realized he was going to pay 2x as much as he originally did, wouldn't get joint custody or any legal rights he dropped his lawyer like a hot potato and is doing whatever I want.

However he is a dead beat dad so he owes over 1,500$ and his mom looks me down like a bitch who wants to eat me. I don't care because I am doing what is best for my child, hers in grown. Mine is 2.

His sisters do not have ANY rights to your children!! I would take those threats serious and take him to court and get supervised visitations there has to be low income family court lawyers around. Ask dshs or call cos and tell them your concerns over his family.and make sure you document everything him and his family say and do.