Forums > Debate & DiscussPage 1 2 3by: ☮Sugar Magnolia

Informative or Offensive? D&D

posted 9th Dec
Stemming from another thread.

I think it's bullsmurf, blaming the victim. Your thoughts?


http://sorenthan.tumblr.com/post/26113337415/larrystylinsoneternal-opal-leaves-through


FYI - Through a rapist’s eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:



1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

———————————————————————————————————————————-

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:


1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk:
can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would
not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and
armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our
instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using
much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel
little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

——————————————————————————————————————————-

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go “hmm I must remember that” After reading forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.


1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or
purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be
hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you! u are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
quotesmurfs?
I have 1 child & live in Indiana
posted 9th Dec
I also believe it not to be factual.
quote
I have 1 child & live in North Carolina
posted 9th Dec
Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:" Stemming from another thread. I think it's bullsmurf, blaming the victim. Your thoughts? http://so ... [snip!] ... cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim. "

I don't think it's offensive.
quotesmurfs?
I have 2 kids & 3 angel babies & live in Texas
posted 9th Dec
Quoting ♥Mama Constantine:" I don't think it's offensive. "

Maybe offensive isn't the right word, Idk. I still don't think it's right, or factual. At all.
quote
I have 1 child & live in Indiana
posted 9th Dec
Quoting ♥Mama Constantine:" I don't think it's offensive. "
Really? Not even the last one?
I kind of felt as if the last one made all women look like these dumb bleeding hearts that would fall for anything.
quote
I have 1 child & live in North Carolina
posted 9th Dec
<blockquote><b>Quoting Vodka Knockers:</b>" I also believe it not to be factual."</blockquote>




Really???? I always thought it held truth.... Why don't you think its factual??
quote
I live in Florida
posted 9th Dec
Quoting Vodka Knockers:" I also believe it not to be factual."
??


And not offensive.
quote
I have 1 angel baby & live in Texas
posted 9th Dec
It's sad but the victim is usually blamed or re-victimized during the trial (if it gets that far) It sickens me! The victim is never the one at fault however so many people make them believe that they are that they end up needed years of counselling some time.
quote
I have 3 kids & live in Ontario
posted 9th Dec
Im pretty sure it wasnt meaant to blame the victim. Its simply meant to be informative. I dont see how its blaming the victim either it is just stating what rapists look for to keep women safe..
quote
posted 9th Dec
I don't know why this would be offensive. I think most of the things listed are common sense. Except maybe the hair thing. I've known more than one woman that got raped and they had very very short hair.
quote
I have 1 child & live in North Carolina
posted 9th Dec
I think it is completely inaccurate and victim blaming.

When will we start seeing things telling men not to rape instead of telling women to be stop getting raped.
quote
I'm due December 28th, have 1 child & live in Ontario
posted 9th Dec
Quoting eKnuckles:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Vodka Knockers:</b>" I also believe it not to be factual."</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... it not to be factual."</blockquote> Really???? I always thought it held truth.... Why don't you think its factual??"
I said I do not believe it to be factual. "I also believe it not to be factual".
My hair style had nothing to do with my rape, it was a matter of convenience. I've kept my hair short and down in a bob style cut for a long, long time. That was my first little 'ding ding ding'.

ETA: I smurfed up reading that, I now see that the person quoting me was asking why I didn't think it was factual. Sorry, I'm tired and hungry lol.
quotesmurfs?
I have 1 child & live in North Carolina
posted 9th Dec
Quoting Vodka Knockers:" Really? Not even the last one? I kind of felt as if the last one made all women look like these dumb bleeding hearts that would fall for anything."
No.
It's honest. Yes, women are more sympathetic at times.
Why should I find it offensive?
quote
I have 2 kids & 3 angel babies & live in Texas
posted 9th Dec
Oh and no I don't think its blaming the victim either. Rapists really do have triggers (certain kinds of rapists). Some go after blondes, some after older women etc...but I mean what are you going to do- have everyone cut their hair short so no one grabs it?
This list actually seems like it could go for murderers too, though.
quote
I live in Florida
posted 9th Dec
I don't think any of it is offensive and a lot of it is common sense smurf.
quotesmurfs?
I'm due August 10th (a boy), have 1 child & live in Spokane, Washington
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