re: I hate that I can't be a SAHM, how many of you work?

Quoting My Widdle:" Oh really? A few friends have kids that I work with and they're fine with it as well, maybe I'm just stressing out over nothing and assuming the worst, so I'll see how it goes"

Your kids and your kids in your class are totally different. Although I babysit for a few of them now that I taught that I did get super attached to. Having your first kid is a dramatic change and you are absolutely thrown into a tailspin. Before you think it is going to be terrible, some moms definitely do benefit from time at work. I know quite a few moms that it makes them feel they are a better mom.

Quoting Mama Rice:" Your kids and your kids in your class are totally different. Although I babysit for a few of them now ... [snip!] ... some moms definitely do benefit from time at work. I know quite a few moms that it makes them feel they are a better mom."

Even work at a daycare with other kids who can be really tiring? I feel like if I had a job with a lot more adult interaction and no kids there, it would be a lot less stressful and I wouldn't mind working

Quoting My Widdle:" Even work at a daycare with other kids who can be really tiring? I feel like if I had a job with a lot ... [snip!] ... I had a job with a lot more adult interaction and no kids there, it would be a lot less stressful and I wouldn't mind working"

I still talk to 3 of the women who work at the daycare I used to work at, they also feel that being a working mom is better for them than a SAHM. They are going to close the daycare and offered the current employees (I quit 6 months ago) the option to transfer to another location or take a one time bonus of 2 months salary. Most of them chose to continue working. And most of the ones who chose to work had SO that make enough for them to stay home, they just choose to work. 2 are single moms so they really had no choice.

Quoting Not tellin:" That's not true. Several girls that worked for me during my time there had all kinds of aide to get ... [snip!] ... for that aide just as in other states. NY doesn't just "give" it to every mother who has a baby. It is a form of state aide"

My last job fired me three weeks before I qualified for fmla so they wouldn't have to cover me. It's bullsmurf. I was a good worker, but they were still legally allowed to do that. And I shouldn't have technically been able to get unemployment because you have to be "willing and able" to work to get it and some would dispute the "able" part because apparently pregnancy is a crippling illness now... but I couldn't get disability for it because my doctor cleared me for work and I wouldn't be pregnant for longer than 6 months. And the maximum welfare I could have gotten was $210/month. That's not even my kid's school tuition so I could even look for work, forget the cost of a bus pass and my living expenses.

Az doesn't care. I'm lucky I found a new job within 3 weeks.

Quoting My Widdle:" Even work at a daycare with other kids who can be really tiring? I feel like if I had a job with a lot ... [snip!] ... I had a job with a lot more adult interaction and no kids there, it would be a lot less stressful and I wouldn't mind working"

 

No.

Most of the people I work with can act every bit the obnoxious child that ever I've met.

Quoting My Widdle:" I work at a daycare so my baby will be going there unfortunately. I really do not want her in daycare, ... [snip!] ... years and I just got full time like last week, so I don't know if I should quit there after all of that, ugh it's so stressful!"

why can't you be a sahm? and just let your bf work?

i'll be moving in with my bf when our baby is 6 months old, and be a sahm until our baby is 2 years old. i feel like the first 2 years are the most important years of their life. working gives you the independance though.

Quoting Marissa- 35 weeks:" why can't you be a sahm? and just let your bf work? i'll be moving in with my bf when our baby is 6 ... [snip!] ... years old. i feel like the first 2 years are the most important years of their life. working gives you the independance though."

Because we have a lot of bills, he wouldn't be able to afford both his bills ( car payment, insurance, phone, his dogs vet bills, school loans) and mine ( car payment, school loan, phone) plus rent and cable and groceries.

i feel the same but i have chosen to stay at home until my daughter is six months + i will be going back to school but taking online course for the first semester ... continuing my ed. graduated 3 months prior to finding out i was pregnant...i fear to leave my daughter at a childcare because now a days its hard to trust people to take care of your child...after hearing about a daycare were a woman left to get some stuff at a store and left 4 children under the age of 4 by themselves and the building caught fire ....sad to say all little lives were lost....then being sexually assault ...idk it just scares the crap out of me to hear things like that....my husband agrees with me...but i do wish to start working night shifts while my husband gets off of work at the hospital ....

Quoting Mandhee Dhandapani:" i feel the same but i have chosen to stay at home until my daughter is six months + i will be going back ... [snip!] ... husband agrees with me...but i do wish to start working night shifts while my husband gets off of work at the hospital ...."

Yeah I understand it is really scary, I would only allow her at the daycare I work at because I've been there for so long and know everyone there, and my brother even went there when he was little. Plus I would be there as well.

Quoting My Widdle:" I work at a daycare so my baby will be going there unfortunately. I really do not want her in daycare, ... [snip!] ... years and I just got full time like last week, so I don't know if I should quit there after all of that, ugh it's so stressful!"

I worked at a daycare when i was pregnant with my daughter. I could only afford the 6 weeks maternity leave so i went back right away. I was in the 6-12 month room 9-6pm everyday and then had to take care of my baby until my husband got out of work at 9. They did end up moving me to the infant room so i got to be my daughters teacher but I hated it even more because i felt like i had to ignore her in order to not play favorites. I ended up quitting at 6 months because i didnt want her going into the next room without me when I knew what went on in that room as i used to be a teachers aid in there. I have been a stay at home mom for almost a year now and i am starting to go a bit crazy. I LOVE being with her everyday and experiencing all the first and not having to stress about a schedule as much, but i find myself unhappy and lonely at the same time. you will feel like you are making the wrong decision at times regardless of what choice you make. you have to weigh your options. at the time we could afford me not working due to my husbands new job, it all depends on what is best for the family as a whole.

I was fortunate to stay home for 7 months when my daughter was born, daddy worked... BUT I will say I am happy that I now work. Adult communication is a good thing, it can help you feel sane at times! I work a full 40 hour week 8-5 mon through Friday, and there's nothing more rewarding then coming home to your babies from work, and really once you get home.. The work continues but it's fun because you love your children and are so happy to see them! I think even if I had the choice of bein mg a SAHM I wouldn't..I'd prob at least have a part time job..but that's just me! Good luck! Try not to stress about it mama, there no such thing as "it being too much" when ur a mom were like Nike, we JUST DO IT ;)

I am a single mom and have to go back to work when my baby boy will be 2 weeks because I cant afford to take anymore time off than that. It sucks wish I could spend more time at home with him but I also have to provide for the other two that I have. I hope you can find a solution with your situation.

You can also look into what bennifits you can get if you can add short term disability to your insurance plan if you have one through your job. Some insurance companies allow you to be paid while you are on maternity leave if you need to extend it past the 6 weeks the employer gives you.

I can understand where you can coming from, you should baby wear. Im apart of a co-op daycare and the mothers who have 2 baby wear and this helps them tend to the other children while meeting there babies needs as well.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Smokey_Taboo:</b>" I can understand where you can coming from, you should baby wear. Im apart of a co-op daycare and the ... [snip!] ... and the mothers who have 2 baby wear and this helps them tend to the other children while meeting there babies needs as well."</blockquote>

Most of the daycares here won't even let you teach in the same room as your child. They would give one mom a 20 minute break every 90-120 minutes to nurse her baby but she was not allowed to be her DDs teacher. I can understand why too....it creates a conflict of interest for a lot of moms. Your child and another child start crying at the same time......who do you tend to first? You want to just hold and stare at your baby and none of the others are crying. If your child is one of your "kids" it complicates the job. Especially if they are older. I had to sub in my DSs room one day. He was soooooo jealous if I played with, picked up, or paid attention to another kid. It made my day rough.