MIL needs therapy..

Okay, awhile ago I posted a rant about how my MIL wants to get a paternity test....this is a continuation. Another episode that happened today.

We've been trying to get ahold of Adams mother for about 2 weeks because usually he goes over there to put up her Xmas tree for her. She hasn't responded. Well today she randomly texted Adam while we were out saying "we need to talk NOW" and he's like "I'm not at your call, i've been trying to get ahold of you for awhile, what is this about?" and she's like "just come over we need to talk asap". So he calls her and she says it again so we just go over to her friends house (they were having women talk i guess). I wasn't supposed to be there when they talked but her friends insisted so I sat in the back and just let them talk. I guess his mother is going through alot and it's because of him. She seems to think that everything he does is to piss them off, like him repainting his car and getting a tattoo and also getting me pregnant. It was all because they didn't want him to and so he did. He was like "uh no? i did it because I wanted to, i'm living my own life now". Then after a bunch of going back and forth she tells him that after 25 years of marriage she might be divorcing his father and it's all Adams fault because his dad thinks that his mom gives into everything. Adams like how is that my fault, I don't ask you guys for anything I just call you talk to you about the baby. (His dad wants nothing to do with the baby). I could not believe she said that to him! It's not his fault that they're having problems in their marriage, that's between them. Adam never talks to his father so idk how HE is causing their divorce at all. But whatever.

Then (here's the good part...) she goes on to say how she's not happy about this baby and then tries to convince Adam that it might not be his. She kept saying "well how do you know for sure?!" and he's like "conception dates! I know for a fact it's mine". Then she brings up the fact that I ran off to my ex boyfriends house to pick up a sweater that he had of mine and so maybe it could've happened then. I was fuming at this point. For one, yes...I picked up my sweater but I was back in less than 10 mins. He lives right down the road from Adam and I was texting him the whole time after I left!! 2. If I did sleep around it would be the fastest quickie ever. I should be put in the record books for that smurf. Adam was defending me the whole time. He even yelled at her and said "You're being really smurfing disrespectful!!" and she's like "She wasn't even supposed to be here". Then she brought up the fact that I could run off with the baby and she would never see the baby again. I'm like wow, you don't know me at all!! What kind of person does that? Of course I didn't say that, I didn't say anything. I couldn't even react because his mother and 2 of her friends were sitting there staring at me like..."oh smurf how is she gonna take this". So I just stared at my belly and rubbed it.

If Adam has no doubt that this baby is his, and he's happy and he wants me and our little soon to be family, why is she so unhappy for him? Why can't she give him some credit?. I have been 100% faithful to him. It's like she doesn't want to accept that she cannot control him anymore. He works hard, pays the bills, comes to every baby appointment with me, and he's going to be damn good father. She has no idea who her son is because she's too busy judging him by his less than perfect actions. For a man who left home when he was 17 because of the way he was treated at home, he's doing damn good for himself. After he left home he hasn't really been close with his family, so they have no idea what goes on in his life at all. There's so much they do not know about him and it just kills me that they bash on him like that. On top of that, I think of my little baby girl who wouldn't stop kicking the whole time they were talking and i'm like....this cannot be happening. This is not how I pictured this. It's supposed to be a happy, beautiful time and she's being selfish and killing it for us! Adam knows its his, I know it's his, who the smurf is she to doubt? I know she loves her son and just wants to protect him but he's 22. she just needs to cut his umbilical cord, step back and let us be a family.

Sorry for the long rant. I could actually go on and on but i'll shut up now. I'm just so pissed and frustrated and hurt. I seriously think that woman needs some therapy...

She's so smurfing unhappy in her life, she wants his to be just as bad as hers. I agree, she really needs help.

Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:" She's so smurfing unhappy in her life, she wants his to be just as bad as hers. I agree, she really needs help."

She is! She has not taken the time to get to know me or ask questions about this pregnancy or anything. I understand that it's a shock, and that she met me one time and then Adam said I was pregnant but that's because Adam never goes around them! And it's for reasons just like this! Me and Adam have been solid even before we started dating, they don't understand that.
He's never good enough for them. His mother flat out told him that he's the black sheep of their family, his dads family and her family. I'm sitting there thinking "well he's doing something right because if he was like you guys...he wouldn't have any friends and he sure as hell wouldn't have me because you guys are smurfing psycho".

My former MIL is just like her. When things are good and going her way, she was great. When it wasn't what she wanted her mouth was running. She was the victim, her son did no wrong and I was the villain.

There's a term for people like your MIL..I swear my former MIL is NPD. She's the most self righteous, lying, manipulative, vindictive bitch I know.

She probably feels you're a threat because if her son is with you and baby he wont be there to pity her pathetic life after being divorced. Good luck, what I learned is to keep mutual respect for one another, but to not give any information and don't expect anything either. Also don't be surprised when her mouth runs, because it will continue to spew filth.

I would say so as well

Quoting K[♥ E&C]:" My former MIL is just like her. When things are good and going her way, she was great. When it wasn't ... [snip!] ... and don't expect anything either. Also don't be surprised when her mouth runs, because it will continue to spew filth."

It's hell. Her assumptions kills me. My family has not judged adam one time. They saw that I love him, we're happy and that's all that mattered to them. Adam doesn't understand exactly how it feels because he was so easily accepted. My parents couldve easily assumed that because we were not together for a long time that he would just run off to leave me with the baby or be a smurffy dad or etc but no, they're giving him the benefit of the doubt like normal and sane people do. This smurf is just drama we don't need. OUR baby is going to be here in about a month and we don't need to be focusing on her drama, we need to be focusing on ourselves and our little girl.

Quoting Erica ☆★:" It's hell. Her assumptions kills me. My family has not judged adam one time. They saw that I love him, ... [snip!] ... here in about a month and we don't need to be focusing on her drama, we need to be focusing on ourselves and our little girl. "

I fully understand. She's an overbearing mother. Basically your SO needs to just break it down to her, and that if she can't accept that and doesn't want anything to do with "this" baby.. then she doesn't have to. But it would mean your SO would be inaccessible.
That's at least what I would say.

Unfortunately the smurf doesn't get better. My Husbands father is just like her. He thinks DH married me because I got pregnant. It was just bad timing.. he proposed 3 weeks before we found out I was pregnant.

Good luck, I can't stand people that always play the victim.

Quoting K[♥ E&C]:" I fully understand. She's an overbearing mother. Basically your SO needs to just break it down to her, ... [snip!] ... timing.. he proposed 3 weeks before we found out I was pregnant. Good luck, I can't stand people that always play the victim."

Right! I wish I could say that but I don't want to make it any harder on Adam. He is his own person. He can make his own choices and live his own life. If she wanted a robot, she should've saved herself the 9 months of sobriety and back aches and just purchased one. It would've been a hell of a lot easier on her part because she'd never have to part with the god damn remote.

Gotta love people and their selfish ass assumptions. How far along were you when you guys found out?

Quoting Erica ☆★:" Right! I wish I could say that but I don't want to make it any harder on Adam. He is his own person. ... [snip!] ... the god damn remote. Gotta love people and their selfish ass assumptions. How far along were you when you guys found out? "

Almost 4 weeks. I found out Mother's day 2011. My DD was Jan 18, and she was born Jan 17.