In laws....

Hey everyone! So I'm a bit irritated and need to let off some steam!
So my son will be 2 months on The 16th. So far the inlaws have only stopped by to visit him once. They live an hour and a half out of town so I understand visits all the time isn't realistic in my expectations. Thing is they come in quite often for appointments movies and shopping but NEVER stop by to visit. They came by the other day but just to drop off some stuff we had left at their house ( which by the way we have been there 4 times since baby has been born and overnight) I'm pissed because I feel like I'm making the only effort for them to see him (and they adore him) its a lot of f$&@ing work to make the trip out there and spend the night with a baby so young. And to top it all off a card we got from them recently ended with "happiness is visiting your parents more often". I've talked to hubby about it and he thinks they are busy because his brother recently broke it off with his fiancé. One that's not their business (yea they are there for emotional support) and two they have plenty of time to see movies and concerts and shop. So I basically feel that after Christmas I'm not taking him out there again until they make the effort to stop by. I want him to have a close relationship with them but I can't make the only effort a visit here and there isn't enough for him to build a close enough relationship with them. Oh by the way first and only grandchild.

That's part of the joy of being the parents of the newborn people are supposed to come to you. I wouldn't be traveling and staying overnight they can come to you. The card is way too pushy for me. If the want to see their grandchild they'll make it happen.

Maybe they don't want to impose. I know my parents and in laws don't just come by without previous plans because they feel like they are being a bother because I end up running around like a mad woman trying to entertain when it was not planned.

So quit inconveniencing yourself by driving out there to see them. Let them come to you.

Well if they have come to you on e and you have been there 4 times they have seen your son 5 times in one month. That's a fair bit...

Oh no the don't care about imposing the first and only time they came was a phone call. Saying they were ten minutes away. And stayed all day. And the five times in one month is quite a bit to build a relationship but father in law is retired and mother in law works part time. Husband is full time. So we have only been out there this many times by chance if I'm back at work were lucky to get out there once a month. And as for them mother in law had a week vacation where she was in the city quite a bit and no visits. Oh they don't ever call either. I have up on calling the all the time too. I'm sure I sound very imature but I should have to beg them to visit or call them 15 times before they answer or return my messages.

Idk, I rarely have people come visit DD. I always bring her to them. My MIL stops by sometimes but usually we bring her in for dinner at SO's grandma's so everyone can see her. Also my parent's have came over maybe once or twice to see the baby, I always drive 20 minutes to take her out there. It doesn't really bother me that much but if it bothers you than maybe you should ask them to stop by more often, tell them it's hard for you traveling so far to visit and ask if they could come over more often. Let them know it bothers you. Communication helps a lot.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mel152009:</b>" Idk, I rarely have people come visit DD. I always bring her to them. My MIL stops by sometimes but usually ... [snip!] ... traveling so far to visit and ask if they could come over more often. Let them know it bothers you. Communication helps a lot."</blockquote>




Yes thank you. Do you have any suggestions on how to bring this topic up without hurting feelings? They are very sensitive people

Quoting Mommeh2bee:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mel152009:</b>" Idk, I rarely have people come visit DD. I always ... [snip!] ... thank you. Do you have any suggestions on how to bring this topic up without hurting feelings? They are very sensitive people"

How about asking them to stop by next time they come into town? Tell them you'd like them to see LO but it's hard to get out of the house right now. You could start inviting them over for dinner or just to visit. That way you are putting it out there that you want them to come over and if they say no, that's on them not you. I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it, I wish my parent's came over more but I know they don't come because I don't allow smoking in my house and they don't feel like walking outside every time. Oh well.