Because I'd drive people crazy on FB....

...if I flooded my page with Seth posts. I mean, some people are loving about it (mostly people from here, go figure, lol) but then I get the few people who are like "Oh stop whining and do something about it" or "You still have two kids..." (which is absolutely true and I love and cherish them x a million, but I still miss my other one). And I don't feel like dealing with that so...

I've been counting down the days lately. Not even "on purpose" but without really even thinking about it. 11 days. 11 days and he would be six. SIX. As in, KINDERGARTEN. As in, right now instead of typing this I'd be thinking of how excited I'm going to be to have him home and out of school for a whole two weeks or so over winter break. Unless of course he and his brother were being brats today, in which case I'd be petitioning the school to stay open.

I don't even know what I'm going to do this year yet. Obviously I'm making his favorite cookies. I always do when I'm thinking of him. I'm not sure what else. I may have to work that day. I hope not, because I don't think I'd have the guts to request off.

It's been 1 year, 10 months, 7 days, 19 hours, and 50 minutes since he was here. 1 year, 10 months, and 7 days since I last got to kiss him. 1 year, 10 months, and 5 days since I got to hold all three of my kiddos in my arms at the same time. I miss that. I miss him.

I feel like time is just zooming on so fast. When I really think about it, it's like... how is it even POSSIBLE for it to be almost two years? How is it even possible that I didn't get to congratulate him on turning 5, and now on turning 6? I mean... I dunno.

My kiddos are my whole heart. One is missing, and that leaves a pretty big hole and I've found that band-aids that large are hard to come by.

I'm.so sorry. What smurfs. How do you get over that? You don't. I lost my son over 5 years ago and the pain runs deep.

What happened if you don't mind me asking?

I'm not sure what happened exactly but I am so sorry about your loss and that people are being jerks about you venting. You need to be able to talk to someone about it with being judged. Keep your head up and stay strong! You have 2 other little miracles that need you to be strong for them as well. If you new someone to vent to feel free to pm me!

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.


I can't believe you actually have people on your FB that tell you to "quit whining" about a child you LOST.   I think you need to reconsider your friends, love.  

I love all the posts about Seth,. He was kinda of a part of my family as well   And I mourn for him all the time

if you ever need to get something out without "annoying" fb, then message or text me.

And if anyone gives you smurf about it, let me know. I'll put them in line

I'm sorry, it must be devestating to lose a child. It is insensitive for people to tell you to get over it. After my little brother passed my mom does something special on his bday every year

Seriously? What jerks! I'm so sorry that people are telling you to quit whining and "at least you have 2 other kids" that is HORRIBLE! to say to somebody who has experienced a loss.

Oh my God Rain. I can't believe people would even say that to you.

My aunt lost her daughter 5 years ago and still (and always will) struggle.

I lit a candle tonight. When I had my moment of silence I thought of my cousin and your sweet little man Seth along with all the other children who died too soon.  

Quoting momma melissa85:" I'm.so sorry. What smurfs. How do you get over that? You don't. I lost my son over 5 years ago and the pain runs deep. What happened if you don't mind me asking?"

He was diagnosed with brain cancer when he was 3 and passed just after his 4th birthday.


People seem to figure since Seth wouldn't want me to be upset, I shouldn't be. Or that I need to channel my energy into something positive. Instead of feeling sad, I should be abundant with joy over his life. Which is true to a point, but I mean... I don't just not feel anything. I'm happy that I had him, but even with the happiness, I miss him.

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know what happened, but that doesn't even matter, you should never feel ashamed to express how you're feeling about the loss of your child. I cannot even imagine what you've gone through, and I can't imagine that it gets any easier. We are mothers, our babies are the breath we breathe, you cannot just get over or forget one because you have others, anyone who expects you to, doesn't deserve to be in your life. I think it's only natural that you remember him everyday, just as if he were still here. And I'm sure he is still around you and your children and he hears and feels what you go through, and how much you love him, and always will. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

Quoting Rain (aka Mama):" He was diagnosed with brain cancer when he was 3 and passed just after his 4th birthday. People seem ... [snip!] ... to a point, but I mean... I don't just not feel anything. I'm happy that I had him, but even with the happiness, I miss him. "

You can be sad. Don't ever feel like you can't. You lost a child, you have every right to be sad sometimes. Doesn't mean you aren't happy you had him. You will always miss him mama  

Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" I love all the posts about Seth,. He was kinda of a part of my family as well   And I mourn for him ... [snip!] ... out without "annoying" fb, then message or text me. And if anyone gives you smurf about it, let me know. I'll put them in line"

Most of 'em I've blocked from seeing those posts, or just deleted off of FB all together at this point. But I still feel self-conscious about it. It drives me nuts...

And have I ever mentioned that I totally love you?   <3

Quoting Rain (aka Mama):" Most of 'em I've blocked from seeing those posts, or just deleted off of FB all together at this point. ... [snip!] ... But I still feel self-conscious about it. It drives me nuts... And have I ever mentioned that I totally love you?   <3"

love you too hun.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rain (aka Mama):</b>" He was diagnosed with brain cancer when he was 3 and passed just after his 4th birthday. People seem ... [snip!] ... to a point, but I mean... I don't just not feel anything. I'm happy that I had him, but even with the happiness, I miss him. "</blockquote>



Oh I'm so sorry   tears

Of course you miss him and can't only rejoice his life. You can vector here and we feel your pain. Omg I cannot imagine your grief  

luv, I would be counting every minute and every second too. I can not imagine how hard it is for you not to have your baby here.


I was thinking....I dont know how you feel about it, but what about doing something for the kindergarten class he would be in, like bring the cookies to them, or something different?

Or...asking the people who are supportive to help you get small gifts...bring them to the oncology ward and have an angel birthday on the ward for the kids admitted, or do it that day for the kids in clinic that day.

My love is with you mama.