Okay, just a warning this is going to be a novel. I'm going to spare a lot of the details to make this a little bit shorter.

A few months ago my Aunt and I got in an argument, I was a little harsher than need be I will admit. We haven't spoke since. I guess she got my Grandma in it and now they are coming up with all these other reasons why I'm a bad person. I stayed in town with my Aunt during HS because we lived too far out in the country for me to travel back and fourth every day. I guess when I was staying there she feels that I used her because I would throw my clothes on the floor and some of my clothes she bought me. She also feels I used her because I dropped out of college. I had a full ride scholarship and I just flushed it away. I've lived with that mistake every day since, I was too interested in my sons sperm donor and partying than school She's held that against me for ten years. We still remained fairly close though. Any way, my Aunt and Grandma are huge grudge holders. My Grandma and my Great Uncle *her brother* got in a fight when I was 11 and she refuses to talk to him to this day.

My Grandma's health is getting worse and we fear she may not be with us next Christmas. My Aunt and mom want to get the whole family together to take pictures and what not. I didn't think that they were as upset at me as they were. I was at my mom's house on Tuesday and my Grandma called, I answered and we talked for about ten minutes. I asked her if she wanted to talk to my mom, her tone changed completely then she said "I thought I was talking to your mom" and hung up. That really got to me so I called my Aunt and told her we really needed to hash this whole thing out. She was pretty rude and said she was sick of me using her and she could care less about me, and if I wanted to come to Christmas she couldn't stop me. After we hung up I smurfing lost it. I've always been close to my Aunt whether she held things in my past against me or not. I never held the fact that they would tell me they weren't doing Christmas gifts and would give everyone their presents behind my back. I would still get them something every year any way. It hurts she wants things to be this way after a tiff. I had decided not to go to the Christmas get together, I knew I'd feel uncomfortable and that there would be a good chance I'd make a scene if I felt like I was being ignored or put in a corner.

My Aunt called my mom today and told her that she doesn't remember our conversation the other night because she was sleeping, not true but okay. She asked that I call her. I called and she was very cold, she told me that I was welcome to come and I needed to figure out what I was going to do so she knew when we were showing up and what I was bringing as a side dish. She said that she's trying to make this Christmas a good one for my Grandma and her Granddaughter and I was the least of her worries. I apologized for my words a few months ago and other than that just listened to her. She said if I decide to come I am still wanting to be a part of the family if not I'm just giving up on it. I'm at a loss. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Insight please???

Well personally, I'd go.. N just to show them that I'm a bigger person... Even if u are there for a little bit.. Just to show your face and be like look I'm mature enough to show up... But that is so crazy that they would be like that...

I would go. I would give anything to have one more Christmas with my grandparents..

Quoting Avian's Mommy!!:" Well personally, I'd go.. N just to show them that I'm a bigger person... Even if u are there for a little ... [snip!] ... Just to show your face and be like look I'm mature enough to show up... But that is so crazy that they would be like that..."

If it wasn't at my Aunt and Grandma's house it wouldn't be such a hard decision. That and it's 4 hours away.

your damned either way. my advice would be to go. but personally i dont think i would go.

Quoting MommyToWesley:" I would go. I would give anything to have one more Christmas with my grandparents.."

That's what's bothering me so much. I want to go because this could very well be my Grandma's last Christmas. At the same time if I do go they will just ignore me and no one will talk to me or even acknowledge me. I feel like I'd ruin Christmas for everyone just going.

Quoting →Ebahϖ:" your damned either way. my advice would be to go. but personally i dont think i would go."

It's such a hard decision. I'm very opinionated and if something was said I don't know if I could keep my big mouth shut. Ugh.

Quoting bananapancakes:" It's such a hard decision. I'm very opinionated and if something was said I don't know if I could keep my big mouth shut. Ugh."

im also not at all close with my family. so i wouldnt care what they had to say about smurf. if you wanna go then go, it could be your grandmas last christmas. if you feel uncomfortable then just leave. if you really want to patch things up with them id write them both a letter. get it off your chest. its not ur fault if they want to hold all that anger so close to there hearts.

Honestly if it were me I would tell them straight that they better start behaving like adults. Just explain it is your Grandmother's last Christmas, you want to be part of the family time you all have left together, you have already apologised to them so as far as you're concerned you have already held out the olive branch so the ball is in their court. They can then let you know what they want to do and if they want to behave like grown ups but you will need notice and you hope they get back to you. If they get back and want to behave appropriately fantastic, if they don't well smurf them. That way you have done all you possibly can and if they can't behave decently they are really not worth it, any of them.

when my grandpa died I was honestly happy. That man choose his girlfriend who stole his money and pain meds over his family. He thru a fit when we buried my dead son beside my grandma(he handed over the plot rights to my mom years ago so she could legally bury whoever she wanted there). But do I miss the old days yes. He was a good grandpa before his hag came into the picture. Go and hope for the best.