Husband started smoking

Ok I really need some advice. My husband is in the military.. After he got home after being gone for two months I just felt like I could smell something weird on him that made me feel sick. I couldn't pinpoint it until he came home really reaking of cigarettes. I asked him in a round about way trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and he beat around the bush so I then just asked him how long he had been smoking. He admitted for about a month and it was a huge stress relief for him because of the smurfs he had to deal with at work. Well I wasn't happy because he knows my Papa is dying from his years if smoking and I hate the smell. We got into a huge fight and I ended up apologizing. I mean I am not his mom and I can't tell him he can't smoke. He never does it at home only at work. I realized I was being selfish and he said he was going to quit after deployment. But last night we were at a pizza party with some friends and he went outside everytime they did to smoke so I told him the whole stress thing was bullsmurf. I love him so much but I worry that he won't be able to quit and I really hate the smell of cigarettes. Am I being stupid? Last night he told me he would quit if I wanted him to but I told him not to promise if he is not ready. I don't like him hiding things and I think he would just end up smoking again and be all paranoid. I don't want to be the wife police lol

Quoting Expecting Emma:" Ok I really need some advice. My husband is in the military.. After he got home after being gone for ... [snip!] ... him hiding things and I think he would just end up smoking again and be all paranoid. I don't want to be the wife police lol"

You can maybe get him a real good ecig. It has the nicotine in there, just without the smell and smoke.

Other than that, knowing from experience, you won't be able to get him to quit until he is ready to. You can make it harder for him, but he will just sneak it behind your back.

Sorry.  

Well if he knows your feelings on it but doesn't hide it and just does it, than not much you can do hopefully he will quit though out of respect for you.

If he was ready to quit, he would be trying to.

He is a grown man. I think the best you can do is to let him know that it bothers you, but that he should do what he wants. You can't force him, and nagging him will just lead him to hiding it.!

How can you tell him the stress thing is bullsmurf? It maybe started that way but cigarettes become addicting very quickly. You cant make him stop, he has to be ready and badgering him about it wont help, it will stress him out.

thanks for the advice ladies. I know if I asked him to quit he would. He even said so but I feel like it would be reallllly hard for him especially since his friends all smoke and I feel bad asking him.

Quoting JessieLeeAnne:" You can maybe get him a real good ecig. It have the nicotine in there, just without the smell and smoke. ... [snip!] ... get him to quit until he is ready to. You can make it harder for him, but he will just sneak it behind your back. Sorry.  "

 
To all of this. My husband had smoked since his teen years and the military made it worse. He tried several times to quit, specially after our first child was born...he tried cold turkey, patches, gum. Nothing worked for him. Then finally on January this year he just stopped. He has smoked 2 cigs since then and even then he only finished half of the cig. Be of support when he makes the decision to cut back, but don't hog him and pressure him. As long as he is keeping it away from the house and making sure he doesn't expose you to it then all you can do is be there. I know it's annoying, I hate smoke myself, but I also know how stressful it is to be in the military so I knew I had to be understanding. Also the military does help if he wants to quit.

Quoting ♡Sarah♡ + 2:" How can you tell him the stress thing is bullsmurf? It maybe started that way but cigarettes become addicting ... [snip!] ... very quickly. You cant make him stop, he has to be ready and badgering him about it wont help, it will stress him out."

I felt like it was because he told me he only smoked one or two a day and only because of stress. I guess I just want him to be straight with me about it and I don't like that he is all secretive about it.

If SO started smoking I would leave him. He says the same thing about me, we both think smoking and cigarettes are nasty as smurf. Smoking is a big deal to both of us, if either have us had been smoking when we met, then we wouldn't have started dating.


When I smell cigarettes on people I literally gag and I get an instant migraine if I'm around it long enough, no thanks. I can't even go to the casino that often because the smell of cigarettes makes me so sick.

Quoting iLL-Legal Alien:"   To all of this. My husband had smoked since his teen years and the military made it worse. He tried ... [snip!] ... how stressful it is to be in the military so I knew I had to be understanding. Also the military does help if he wants to quit."

Yah I know he isn't addicted yet. We went to FL for a week and he didn't smoke once. What bothers me is he thinks he will just be able to quit. And from everything I have heard, It's not that easy. I am worried he is tricking himself into thinking he can control it. And that is why I feel bad asking him because I know he is always super stressed but the smell when he just gets home is nauseating. I just don't know : (

Quoting Samanthaaaa ♥:" If SO started smoking I would leave him. He says the same thing about me, we both think smoking and cigarettes ... [snip!] ... around it long enough, no thanks. I can't even go to the casino that often because the smell of cigarettes makes me so sick."

I feel the exact same way about smoking but I couldn't leave him over it unless he was smoking at home which he isn't.

Quoting Expecting Emma:" Yah I know he isn't addicted yet. We went to FL for a week and he didn't smoke once. What bothers me ... [snip!] ... asking him because I know he is always super stressed but the smell when he just gets home is nauseating. I just don't know : ("

He didnt smoke that you know of...

...and even if he didnt, it was probably on the back of his mind. Every time you mention any factors of smoking to a smoker, they want the cig. It isnt just a physical addiction, but mostly mental.

Quoting JessieLeeAnne:" He didnt smoke that you know of... ...and even if he didnt, it was probably on the back of his mind. ... [snip!] ... time you mention any factors of smoking to a smoker, they want the cig. It isnt just a physical addiction, but mostly mental. "

I was with him 24-7. But yah that is what worries me. I wish he would quit now before he gets addicted.

Oh and what really pisses me off. At the party, One of his smoking buddies was saying how Matt had tried to quit and he just got him to keep smoking. Why would you tell me that?

Quoting Expecting Emma:" Oh and what really pisses me off. At the party, One of his smoking buddies was saying how Matt had tried to quit and he just got him to keep smoking. Why would you tell me that?"

To get a rise out of you because obviously your SO told him how you are trying to make him quite...my best guess.