Quoting ♥ logan's mommy:" I did confront him. He first lied to me about the porn, then said he did bit then went off me in about ... [snip!] ... did and I sit there and listen, no matter how stupid the matter he Is talking about. He's an smurf. And right now I hate him."
Have you tried couples counseling?
Definitely not trying to defend him, but 'turning the tables' is a defense mechanism I've noticed DH use, a lot. When I pointed it out in an argument, he then turned the tables again and tried to point out things I apparently use as a defense mechanism that I won't even acknowledge, it was a low blow.
He's gotten a lot better about it since we've been in marriage counseling, but he also needs therapy himself considering marriage counseling will only go so far.