would you do it?

The birth of my son was hectic and overwhelming. there was soo many people that showed up it was beyond ridiclous and the nurses didnt help at all with crowd control. this time around i want NO ONE there. me and SO already talked about it. hes starting to understand how i feel about everything so he agreed that we dont have to have people there. he just wants his mom to be there. which works out great because then she can be with my son while we go in for the csection. but people are already making plans to come to the hospital, since were having a scheduled csection this time around and the date was already picked. my question is if you didnt want people showing up and you knew weither you liked it or not that they would come, would you lie and say the date was changed so people wouldnt show up? im talking about to like family too. im not close to my family at all so i dont care to lie to them. i know you cant have it were there only certain people that are allowed to visit but i dont want everyone getting butthurt that SO's mom and LO are the only ones aloud to come up.

Just tell the hospital no visitors only MIL & LO

I would just tell them that you find it stressful to have so many people around and ask them to hold off visiting until you've recovered and bring baby home. If they don't respect that then that means they don't respect YOU.

I wouldnt lie. I would just be completely firm.

Tell people that you want some time alone with baby and if they show up at the hospital it will be a waste of time because you will not be allowing anyone in to see you or the baby.

Make sure you let them know that you appreciate that they are concerned about you and the baby and you will be more than happy to notify them by phone that baby is here and all the stats.

Other than that, they need to wait until you are comfortable at home to meet the baby.

Quoting True Diva:" Just tell the hospital no visitors only MIL & LO"

yea i know i can do that. but i dont want people being smurfs about showing up and not being aloud up.

Tell them all to shove it. Then tell the hospital that NO ONE is to visit besides your MIL. If someone shows up they'll have to leave. Simple as that.

there's no need to lie and tell people a different date. lol.
me and dh didn't want people there either, we wanted it to be our time with our little boy.
we told our familes that and they totally understood and left visits untill we got him. No one was upset and me and dh got to spend the night just looking at our beautifull little man!   x

<blockquote><b>Quoting →Ebahϖ:</b>" yea i know i can do that. but i dont want people being smurfs about showing up and not being aloud up."</blockquote>




At our hospitals down here they have to check you in. When I went thru my miscarriage I told the hospital no one allow up & that was how it was sorry they feeling will be hurt

Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:" I would just tell them that you find it stressful to have so many people around and ask them to hold ... [snip!] ... off visiting until you've recovered and bring baby home. If they don't respect that then that means they don't respect YOU."

they dont respect me. my family is a bunch self centered smurfs. if i just let them show up and not let them up it would be a personal attack on every single one of them for some unknown thing they did that never mattered to start with.

<blockquote><b>Quoting →Ebahϖ:</b>" The birth of my son was hectic and overwhelming. there was soo many people that showed up it was beyond ... [snip!] ... that are allowed to visit but i dont want everyone getting butthurt that SO's mom and LO are the only ones aloud to come up."</blockquote>




Tell the hospital you want absolutely NO visitors. Give them your SO & MIL's names, let them know those are the ONLY people you want. If anyone else shows up, they aren't even allowed to give them your room number. That's what I'm doing. The last two people to have babies in our family had horrible experiences with a certain family member coming to the hospital wasted & starting drama. So I am refusing visitors. Except my mom & SO's parents.

Id make sure to announce to all your family members that this will be a private birth with no visitors and that the hospital will not allow visitors so they shouldnt waste their time coming. Tell them youll let everyone know once the time is appropriate and you feel like having visitors and they can make plans to see you once you are home.

Quoting →Ebahϖ:" they dont respect me. my family is a bunch self centered smurfs. if i just let them show up and not ... [snip!] ... up it would be a personal attack on every single one of them for some unknown thing they did that never mattered to start with."

Well that's all the more reason to tell the nurses not to allow them up there.

Quoting →Ebahϖ:" they dont respect me. my family is a bunch self centered smurfs. if i just let them show up and not ... [snip!] ... up it would be a personal attack on every single one of them for some unknown thing they did that never mattered to start with."

I understand what you mean. My mom is like that. I told her that the hospital rules about visiting were visiting hours between 2pm and 8pm and no one under 16 allowed. She freaked out and said that she won't get to see the baby and for me to just send her a picture. I have a little brother and sister that are 5 and 6 and apparently she can't get a babysitter. I've learned with her to just tell things to her straight, while still being respectful, and if she gets mad then she gets mad. It isn't easy because you want to make everyone happy but you shouldn't sacrifice your happiness. Just tell them that the nurses will turn anyone else away. If they still show up it's their problem.

Just remember to remind the nurses and other staff no visitors bc when i had my son I told them i only wanted my SO in the delivery room and my mother and sister in law hid back in a corner instead of being removed from the room. If you dont want specific ppl to come in make sure you make it clear with the nurses and staff also. I didnt have a very good experience when my son was born b/c ppl thought they could come and go as they pleased it drove me nuts