My grandma was diagnosed with dementia today...

It's been a long last couple of days. My head hurts. My heart hurts. I've been trying so hard to stay busy just so I won't break down and cry. I made a customer cry today too because she seen I was crying 

My Grandma was diagnosed with dementia. I guess they said she had a stroke and is showing many signs of dementia. She's hallucinating....she's confused...I mean, she seemed fine with me. I always thought she had her good days and her bad.

Anyway, she got out of the hospital this morning only because a cousin has signed papers. The doctors were wanting to put her in a facility/home type of thing. Grandma is at her house now. I called her up. I've been trying to get her to stay with us forever, but she panics because Grandpa isn't there to help her. She's not use to doing much without Grandpa. He's been gone for 7 years and she still wakes up to him singing in the bathroom..

Anyway, I had a long heart to heart with her. I told her we've been beating around the bush at getting her to stay with us. She agrees. She knows it's for the best and she wants to stay with us. So we are going to do a trial visit. See how she likes it. She can get a feel for how it goes and what it would be like. Maybe for a couple of weeks...

My question is, is there anyone who has taken care of someone with dementia. Any tips? I was thinking of taking her to this senior activity center. They do all kinds of awesome dancing there. And she's a Jehova's witness, so I was going to call up a few places. Try to find some more people into that for her to talk with....

I'm just...I'm nervous....but excited. I know I can do this. I'm just hoping she enjoys it....and I'm sure she will..I don't know why I'm so nervous...

Post & Run

Honestly my advice is to,put her in a home. Dementia is really hard on everyone and she would probably do better with trained staff. If you are absolutely set.against.it, follow her.normal routine, never leave.her home alone and try not to listen.if.she gets.mean.


ETA: Take her on outings. Sorry if I sound.harsh btw. My.Gram has been very adament that.if.she.gets dementia,.she.needs to be in a home.

Get an alarm on your door incase in the middle of the night she wanders, I worked with people that had progressive dementia for many years.

A senior center would be good, develop a good routine with her, give her things to do so she doesn't feel like a burden like folding hand towels.

I'm not even going to lie, Dementia is a hard thing to deal with.. I know it seems kinda ehhh to be put in a home, but honestly that is probably going to be the best choice.
People with Dementia are very demanding and require almost constant care. My aunt had it and she would also get very violent. It's not going to be easy!

Quoting Jude the Super Kinkster:" Honestly my advice is to,put her in a home. Dementia is really hard on everyone and she would probably ... [snip!] ... are absolutely set.against.it, follow her.normal routine, never leave.her home alone and try not to listen.if.she gets.mean."

She can't go to a home. I mean she's not as bad as you might think yet. She's been living on her own forever. She was in a facility...like a rehab type thing after she had brain surgery for her aneurism. I mean occasionally she'll have a few "snakes in her bed" and call me because she doesn't know if it's night or day...but she really needs family right now. Being around strangers in a place she doesn't know would upset her so much right now...

I work with elderly patients. Since she's in the early stages it shouldn't be hard but as she progresses it will get harder & eventually she will probably end up in a home. When that time comes do not feel guilty. Taking care of her could be extremely stressful & you need a good support system. Senior day centers are good.

Quoting Brink:" Get an alarm on your door incase in the middle of the night she wanders, I worked with people that had ... [snip!] ... be good, develop a good routine with her, give her things to do so she doesn't feel like a burden like folding hand towels."

That's a good idea. I was suggesting maybe her to help me cook. She's got great recipes she's made for years and has fun doing it. She's mentioned she doesn't want to be a burden since I have a family of my own. I just keep reminding her she is family of my own.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" She can't go to a home. I mean she's not as bad as you might think yet. She's been living on her own ... [snip!] ... she really needs family right now. Being around strangers in a place she doesn't know would upset her so much right now..."</blockquote>



I sat with a woman who had dementia and she was fine for a few yeara and then started wandering,.would leave pots on the stove, she got really mean. It's not easy at all. Is your SO okay with.this? It's a huge change.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Shibby.:</b>" I'm not even going to lie, Dementia is a hard thing to deal with.. I know it seems kinda ehhh to be put ... [snip!] ... very demanding and require almost constant care. My aunt had it and she would also get very violent. It's not going to be easy!"</blockquote>




Not every culture puts their family into long term faculties. I'm Native and we don't do that. I'm actually living in my great grandma's house. She passed away a year and a half ago. My mom and I took care of her until she took her last breathe. Which we were there for.

Quoting Shibby.:" I'm not even going to lie, Dementia is a hard thing to deal with.. I know it seems kinda ehhh to be put ... [snip!] ... very demanding and require almost constant care. My aunt had it and she would also get very violent. It's not going to be easy!"

I'm not putting her in a home. I can't do that. She can't do that. I promised her I'll always be here for her, and I'm going to be.

My grandma was only violent when she was put on tons of medication after her brain surgery. Ever since then, she's been back to her regular sweetheart self.

Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Shibby.:</b>" I'm not even going to lie, Dementia is a hard ... [snip!] ... She passed away a year and a half ago. My mom and I took care of her until she took her last breathe. Which we were there for."

I'm so sorry...

How long did she live with dementia? Like...when did it start to get worse?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" That's a good idea. I was suggesting maybe her to help me cook. She's got great recipes she's made for ... [snip!] ... mentioned she doesn't want to be a burden since I have a family of my own. I just keep reminding her she is family of my own. "</blockquote>




Cooking would be probably fine with early onset but not when she progresses. Just use your judgement  

Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" That's a good idea. I was suggesting maybe her to ... [snip!] ... Cooking would be probably fine with early onset but not when she progresses. Just use your judgement  "

Yea, that's what's so hard. I use my judgement all the time, then I talk with my aunt and she thinks I'm in denial over a lot of it. I'm not in denial...I just don't want to upset her or make her feel like she can't do anything. I mean of course I'll be right there with her...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" I'm so sorry... How long did she live with dementia? Like...when did it start to get worse?"</blockquote>




She had cancer that went into her brain causing dementia. She was pretty good then the cancer came back and ate her away pretty much it was a rough last 6 months. She was sick 4.5 years.

Has your grandma started meds? My paternal gma has dementia and her meds have really slowed it down. It was progressing rather quick until she got on meds.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" Yea, that's what's so hard. I use my judgement all the time, then I talk with my aunt and she thinks ... [snip!] ... just don't want to upset her or make her feel like she can't do anything. I mean of course I'll be right there with her..."</blockquote>




You'll be there is the key point. Look into support groups around your area! There's probably a few you're in the city.