***Please Don't Quote***
DD has always had some feeding issues, mainly being that she has just never wanted to eat (including bottles). She also has a problem where she gets overwhelmed by the whole situation and flails her arms and causes herself to cough and choke.
For these reasons we started swaddling her while giving her a bottle, but now she's too big for that we hold her arms to her side like swaddling while feeding her. She won't and probably never will hold a bottle. There are times where she will flail and you have to keep her arms down, but once she gets passed initially taking the bottle she calms down and happily drinks but you must always be cautious in case she chokes.

Now, BIL and SIL have been pestering me to let them watch her. I'm fine with this but only until she needs another bottle. They keep making a big deal about how they know how to feed a baby and whatnot and keep insisting that we are overreacting. They won't listen to me that I don't want other people feeding her because she can choke and has ended up with pneumonia because of it, and also it's essentially like restraining her and I don't want to teach people how to do that. It's not pleasant, it's not like feeding a normal baby and isn't something I want them to experience.

**Please note, everyone who is involved in her care is aware of how we've had to feed her. Sometimes you have to do what's best for your child even if it's unpleasant. So please no crap about it. Thanks**

I agree about not allowing them to feed her.

I had a sick baby, a very sick baby. I had to give him needles, medicines and worry constantly about what he was eating and that he was eating good food.

I have had only my SIL fight me on this. We have not spoke in almost a year now over her giving him chocolate milk when I asked her not to, then followed up by finding out she gave him kraft dinner too. Things I just didnt want and shouldnt have happened as it was communicated to her my expectations.

If you dont want others to learn how to feed her, thats your choice. But I will tell you this, it is much more damaging to you then to her.
Also....you pick your battles. If you dont want them to watch her, then they will have to live with that, but so will you.

For people saying try to teach them, can you tell me why you think that's a good idea? Who would it benefit?

I think it's a good idea to try and teach them, but if they're blowing you off and not really listening to your concerns, then it's probably best to say no.

If it helps, my LO didn't start holding his bottle until he was a year old.  

Quoting {tamz}:" For people saying try to teach them, can you tell me why you think that's a good idea? Who would it benefit?"

I didnt answer the poll.

But it would benefit you not always having to do it, and it would foster a relationship between her aunt and uncle.

just saying.

Quoting Shannonsfirst:" "

Sorry, more damaging to who? DD? Got a little lost there lol.

Thanks. I do let them watch her for 4-5 hours at a time. I don't mind them watching her, but also what else am I going to go out and do for longer than that? We are in a new state and they are my only friends, along with DH. I feel like there are plenty of other things they can learn to do with her, feeding doesn't have to be one of them.

Also, SIL tried to give DD peanut butter mixed with whip cream....without asking me! DD is only 13 months adjusted and I haven't introduced it yet.

I agree with what someone else said about if they are willing to learn and listen to you then you should teach them, but if they refuse to listen.. Then I wouldn't bother.

I think you should try to teach them because if your daughter is going to be in their care ever.. You want to know that they know how to do what they need to do. Just as anything else.. We all teach others how we care for our children and how we do certain things. I know this one thing is different and a little more extreme but if they want to help and will listen and learn, there's no reason they shouldn't!

Quoting loser mom:" )"

Lol, DD is 13 months adjusted, almost 14. I don't think it's happening. I also think she might have to have a bottle until she's 2, or at least drinking enough from her sippy cup.

I feel like they blow off my concerns even tough they know she's not normal. They know that I do a lot of research and I always try to do what's best for my child.

Quoting Shannonsfirst:" I didnt answer the poll. But it would benefit you not always having to do it, and it would foster a relationship between her aunt and uncle. just saying."

She has a good relationship with them. And DH feeds her both her night bottles and I give her both her day bottles, so it is split.

It's not a fun experience. They think it will help their bond with DD, but I don't think it will. It's a stressful experience, it can be very unpleasant.

Quoting {tamz}:" Sorry, more damaging to who? DD? Got a little lost there lol. Thanks. I do let them watch her for 4-5 ... [snip!] ... DD peanut butter mixed with whip cream....without asking me! DD is only 13 months adjusted and I haven't introduced it yet. "

the process is more damaging to you.

It sounds like you really really really dont want them to feed her. If thats how you feel mama...then you have to stick to that. No one here can tell you what to do with your child. Im confused as to what/why you are asking?

Quoting ECT:" I agree with what someone else said about if they are willing to learn and listen to you then you should ... [snip!] ... is different and a little more extreme but if they want to help and will listen and learn, there's no reason they shouldn't!"

I do understand and agree with that about everything else with DD. I've shown them how to do PT stuff and all, but it took many months for DH and I to even be comfortable with it.  

Why does she act this way while eating?
I agree that it sounds like you already have your mind made up about it.

Quoting Shannonsfirst:" the process is more damaging to you. It sounds like you really really really dont want them to ... [snip!] ... you have to stick to that. No one here can tell you what to do with your child. Im confused as to what/why you are asking?"

I'm basically asking if I'm out of line and just being overprotective because I only want DH and me to feed her. They are NOT parents. I want to hear from other parents whether or not it seems like I'm in the right. I guess I'm just looking for someone to verify that I'm doing what's best for DD.

I have no friends here where we moved, so I don't have other people to ask.

Quoting {tamz}:" I'm basically asking if I'm out of line and just being overprotective because I only want DH and me ... [snip!] ... to verify that I'm doing what's best for DD. I have no friends here where we moved, so I don't have other people to ask. "

to answer directly this.....yes you are being overprotective.

But I would NEVER fault a parent for caring too much. If you dont want to, even if you know its irrational...oh well, like you said, you are only doing what you believe is best.