Sick of it!!!

I need a little help. I have 4 year old twin girls. They have been so easy. No terrible twos or any of that. Well, here we are at 4 and one if them is really testing every shred of patience I have. I am serious when I say there are days I want to just beat her butt and leave her in her room. Obviously, I don't because I am a nonspanking parent. However, I am seriously at my wits end with her.

She has these blood curdling scream fits for stupid things. Tell her no that she can't have something that moment and what should have been a simple issue turns into a 30min scream fit. She is mouthy, tells me no, bosses the other kids around and just takes things from them when she wants.

I have done the thinking spot, I have yelled (not my finest moments), I gave taken away privlidges, made her stay in her room (I don't keep toys in their rooms) and even most recently had our elf on the shelf tell her that she was on the naughty list. She knows what that all means. This is the one who is 4 going on 30. Very smart but at the same time, still a child going thru phases.

I just can't take anymore of this behavior. Someone give me ideas that I HAVEN'T already listed. No offense but please don't reply unless you have a child age 4 or older and you have gone thru this. I am looking for a solution not just suggestions or hypotheticals from anyone not in this situation or moved past it.

It's going to be the answer you don't want to hear: Time and patience. My 5 year old was the same way and she just grew out of it over the year.

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A time-out bottle. It's an old water bottle filled with water, glitter glue and glitter. When she starts screaming, let her shake the bottle, but then she has to watch it until the glitter settles. If she shakes it again, time out lasts longer...but she has to sit there quietly watching the glitter.

I have a 4 year old girl (5 in a few weeks) She is a terror and drives me up the walls lol. I started her a sticker chart that is on the fridge (sounds silly and i didn't really think it'd work but i gave it a shot) There is a sheet of small stickers, sheet of big stickers and some pretty cards.

The way it works is 10 little stickers gets her a big one. Two big ones get her a card. Then it starts over. It has really helped. If i want her to do something like clean her room she gets a sticker, go to sleep without a fuss 2 stickers ect. If she is bad i take away stickers (this will start a tantrum lol) while she has that tantrum i say ill take another unless she stops and it actually works.

It gives her motivation to be good and when she starts being naughty i warn about losing a sticker and she listens better.

Just an idea....works for her.

My grandma threw a small glass of water on my aunt when she threw herself on the floor kicking and screaming. It shocked her so much she never did it again.  

But seriously I've been there with the screaming matches. Maybe instead of telling her no, suggest an alternative? "Can I have candy?" "How about an apple?" Redirection of some sort. Also, as much as I hate it because I think it makes children feel entitled, you might have to do some instant rewards for the good behavior to encourage it to show more often. Positive reinforcement sometimes is the only thing that works.

Also you could try ignoring the behavior. Sometimes it's done for attention. So ignore her when she screams. When she takes something from the other kids, take it back, hand it to the kid it was taken from, and just walk away. Don't even acknowledge the behavior past that.

I can't say Heathen has screaming fits, but she's an emotional time bomb waiting to go off.
She's been whiny and I just don't deal with it. I tell her if she wants to behave and talk to me like a normal person she may stay where I am. If she wants to keep whining and sulking (over nothing most of the time) she can go to her room.
Do the best you can to ignore the behavior. Let her know it's not something that will be tolerated and if she continues, the behavior will be ignored until she can act like normal person.

I know all situations are different. For us right now, it's that Daddy is deployed. So my approach has to be a little more gentle than usual.

Good Luck

The redirection worked for a short time. She will want to go somewhere or wear a certain shirt and telling her "after we do blah blah blah" or "not today but tomorrow" is not good enough.

I will try harder to ignore her. It is hard. She starts then the other two join. They don't know why, they just jump aboard! Lol

My husband works out if town for a minimum of 10 days at a time then home for 5. At first I wanted to blame that but, this is all she has known of him to do. Ugh! I want to beat my head against a wall! Lol

i know you dont wanna spank, but try it. im not a huge fan of it, but unfortunately it works.

my daughter is 4.5 and although she doesn't scream, she does cry and meltdown quite easily when I say no to something. I do the redirection thing, for example "no you can't have a popsicle right now, but after lunch you can have one" if she still cries, and starts to beg, I just say "the answer is no, we are done" and I walk away from her and ignore any further meltdowns. I have found that ignoring her after explaining it to her is the best of all. I don't feed into her tantrums and she doesn't get a reaction out of me, her meltdowns have decreased in both frequency and length.
If you have already given her the answer and explanation, just walk away and let her sort herself out. Good luck!

I did not want to spank. For awhile it worked, then I had to start threatening I would, but never actually. Then that stopped working. And she got so bad one day she intentionally and deliberate slapped me in the face. SO I told her very firmly that when we got home she would be spanked. The drive home she asked again what I was going to do and I explained it to her. When we got home I sat her down eye to eye, explained to her what she did was wrong, and that I was disappointed with her. She then got a relatively light spanking through a diaper, but it got the point across. Afterwards I hugged her and told her that I loved her, but what she had done was wrong. She agreed and was an angel for 6 months. Eventually she got bad again and we repeated this process. It had to be used very rarely but every once in awhile, with a certain behavior or kid, it is the best thing that works. But def. save it as a last resort.

My 3 year old is like this. I usually make him sit on the bottom step facing the wall or I threaten to not allow him to spend the night at grandmas( he can basically do whatever he wants when hes there and tantrums only really happen after he come home from there). I very rarely spank him unless he is hurting himself or someone else. In fact I think when he kicked.his brother yesterday was the first time hes been spanked in over 3 months. The stair thinh really works because he cant see the living room or anything when he sits on the stairs.