Quoting Plum flippers:" Thank you. I am trying but I feel as if I could've made her time here easier it wouldn't still haunt ... [snip!] ... would just think of something else I should have done. I feel ashamed that I didn't even try to make the doctors ease her pain."
i dont know if this will interest you at all,
its the five stages of greif. I find that understanding what im feeling and why helps me get through some things.
your feelings are normal, completely normal-but still you must understand that there was nothing you could have done differently. you had her, you held her, you held her close, you felt her, you smelled her, you listened to her. Her entire life was spent in your reach-you only ever loved her and wanted the best for her. you are an amazing mother-but only human. no amount of mulling over it again and again in your head is going to change anything. you made the right decisions for you and your family, and while it hurts now and will continue to hurt, but i do hope you find peace with yourself and the situation soon.