Somedays I swear...(Rant)

That I border-line hate my mother...

She came over today to help me out with Abby, which I appreciate beyond belief...That wasn't the problem. She started telling me that maybe it was time for me to move on past Colton...now that I have Abby, I have to start thinking beyond her and begin to think about finding her a father, since, and I quote: "The girl needs a man in her life".

At first, I'm just like, what are you talking about? And then she starts to tell me how important it is for a girl to have a father in her life, and that I should start considering a relationship again, for her sake.

What are you talking about? Colton died 4 months ago...How the heck am I supposed to be moving on already? In my mind, I'm still married, for goodness sakes!

There is no way I am ready to move on...When I still wake up and reach over because I think he's beside me, when I'm still thinking about him every second of every day and wearing my rings...how is that ready for a new relationship? I don't know if I'm ever going to be ready for a relationship again...I think sometimes he's up there shaking his head at me, telling me to get a move on with my life already. Actually, I'm almost positive that's what he's doing. But I don't think that would include jumping into a new relationship 4 freakin' months after I was widowed.

Seriously, I don't care what your opinion is about single parenting. It's the choice I'm making to raise my daughter at this point is in my life.

End a very long rant...Sorry, that had to come out!

Wow that's horrible.   Take all the time you need and tell your mom to shove it!

I'm sorry for your loss mamma. Your mother was completely out of line. Your dd has a father and mother YOU! And don't forget it. You can and will be all that little girl needs until your ready.

It's all up to when your ready! In your situation you have to be ready, and obviously you are not. You shouldn't be pushed by anyone either.... I'm sorry your going through that...

That is very rude and insensitive of her to say something like that to you. My mom raised me and my four siblings on her own. We did just fine. Your children will be just fine too. If there is a man that is meant to be in your life god will make it happen. Until then tell her to mind her own damn business!!

Don't be sorry to post this, I'm sorry you're going through it! She has no right to try and push you to find someone, 4 months isn't very long to grieve the loss of your husband and you'll be ready when you're ready.

I know its different but similar, I left my daughter's father when she was 6 motnhs old. My aunt and mom are always telling me to hurry up and find a man while Alyssa is young, so she can "properly bond" with them but I think that's a bunch of crap. I'm not rushing into a relationship because people seem to think my daughter needs a real father (her dad isn't around much)

Just let her know that while you understand she only wants you to be happy that you aren't done grieving. That you will move on in your own time and the pressure is not helping.

That is horrible. Your mother definitely crossed a line today; that was very inconsiderate of her.
I am so sorry for your loss.

Sorry for you loss , I couldnt image moving on that fast either if I was in you shoes. Your mom was out of line for pushing you and for what she said. Take all the time you need and you do what you feel is best for you and your daughter. If that takes a year or 10 years however long it takes for decide whether or not you want a new relationship. That is your choice nobody elses.

Wait a minute, I just read your old posts and your daughter isn't even a week old yet. Doesn't your mother realize going through losing your husband is hard enough, especially with a newborn? The last thing on my mind would be men and dating! I don't see how she can be so insensitive :/

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm also sorry for your inconsiderate mother. You need to take as much time as you need to heal. Moving on from a lost spouse is not easy. I've watched one of my friends go through it, and I am watching my mom go through it now. It sucks, to say the least.

My brother and I have already told our mom we're ok with her dating whenever she is ready, but we don't see that happening for a while. We just wanted her to know that she wouldn't have to worry about us if she met someone special. We would never want to push her into a relationship, and no one should do that to you, either.

Quoting Alyssa's mommy [EBFT]:" Wait a minute, I just read your old posts and your daughter isn't even a week old yet. Doesn't your mother ... [snip!] ... especially with a newborn? The last thing on my mind would be men and dating! I don't see how she can be so insensitive :/"

I didn't get it at all either...Abby's 4 days old as of today, and I was like, "Ok, I'm trying to get the hang of having a kid, by myself, and you think I need to be looking for a relationship too?" I'm trying to get over losing my husband, and dealing with the fact that he'll never get to meet his daughter, and you want me to start thinking about a new relationship?

It's something my Mom has against single mothers, I guess...She seems to think that I have to have a man there to raise her successfully...At this point I don't know if I'll ever be ready. And I'm quite confident that I can raise her, without a man...

And something else I would've explained to her at that time if I hadn't been so pissed off...She has men in her life. Not only does she have two loving Grandpa's, but she has three uncles, many of Colt's and my friends, all ready to be there for whatever...There is no way I need to get into another relationship just because "she needs a man's influence".

I don't get how she expects me to move on so quickly...It's just like, is that all it's supposed to mean for me to lose him? 4 months? And after I just freakin' had our daughter? Do you get how much more stuff that opened up?\

I pray I'm never that insensitive to my little girl.