re: done

<blockquote><b>Quoting Vanilla MILFshake.:</b>" What you said is exactly what I am going to tell DH when he gets home! That was a good way to put it.. ... [snip!] ... with that because it really is how I feel and I have been trying my hardest to get him to understand where I'm coming from."</blockquote>


I totally understand op. Sex is about expressing your love at a deeper level. If you just wanted to rub one off then you could do that yourself. And you love you Dh so you want that connection with him. My Dh and I have our issues but he tries really hard. And once he understood how I felt not only did we start having sex on a regular basis but sex became fun again for both of us. Gl

Is he on any medication that would lower his sex drive?? What you said about it being wam bam thank you mam seems a little weird to me. He doesnt want to pleasure you?? Whats the point of sex if you dont climax. Does he show affection in any other ways like kissing you when he gets home saying I love you, cuddling?

Im not very happy either and im lost... I've told him how I feel and he will be close for a day or so then go back to his old ways. Its like were roommates. We dont even go to bed together. I hate going to bed alone but he just doent get it... If I didnt have children specially a newborn I would walk away if things didnt change.. Life is too short to not be happy. I just dont want a broken family so im sticking it out plus marriage is suppose to be forever. I think the counseling idea is your best bet.

Quoting Mellissa28:" Is he on any medication that would lower his sex drive?? What you said about it being wam bam thank you ... [snip!] ... a broken family so im sticking it out plus marriage is suppose to be forever. I think the counseling idea is your best bet."

He isn't on any medication at all and he does tell me he loves me and gives me a kiss when he gets home, but that is literally all I get out of him.

How long have you been together? Communication is the key to a good relationship. You just got to tell him how you feel. Flat out say I dont want sex I want to make love to you!! Why cant you understand this?? I should take my own damn advice. :-)

Quoting Mellissa28:" How long have you been together? Communication is the key to a good relationship. You just got to tell ... [snip!] ... Flat out say I dont want sex I want to make love to you!! Why cant you understand this?? I should take my own damn advice. :-)"

5 years, married for 2 1/2

I am just like your DH. My SO is kind of reacting the same way. I know all too well it is hurting him but I just can't fake it. I dont want to have sex and the idea that it will give SO pleasure on an intimate level still doesnt make me want to have sex. We have it once or twice a month lately if he really nags. I havent had a sex drive since my first trimester with my son and my son is 11 months old now so SO has to be really starved. I also feel like its not unhealthy per se to not have a regular sex life. At least not for me because I love him just the same. I wish I could tell you some magical secret to getting your DH to open up and make with the sex but honestly since it sounds like we have the same kind of attitude towards sex, so if I could attempt to speak on your husbands behalf I would say that its not easy to be sexual if you don't want to and alot of pressure to have sex makes it even harder to have sex on demand. I feel for you about DH acting like its a chore. Its kind of hard to hide the fact that you just don't want to. I get kind of bitchy. I guess if you can, just believe that your DH loves you and the lack of sex isn't a lack of love, and though you need the sex to feel loved and feel intimate, love is there all the same. I would try to fill the void as much as you can with quality time. My SO is thrilled if we do something as simple as play a game or watch a movie (with or without cuddling) because to him as he has told me, quality time makes him feel closer to me, which is easier said than done.