re: PPD

Quoting HotMom21ERF:" if you dont mind me asking, did you hear voices and stuff?"

I don't mind. No, I didn't. I was extremely angry and anxious, like the "manic" phase of bipolar disorder. I wanted nothing to do with my son. I would have panic attacks all the time. The day I attempted I was having such a bad attack that I was just wanted out. It was horrible.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" I don't mind. No, I didn't. I was extremely angry and anxious, like the "manic" phase of bipolar disorder. ... [snip!] ... panic attacks all the time. The day I attempted I was having such a bad attack that I was just wanted out. It was horrible. "</blockquote>




What meds did they put u on? They put me on celexa and xanax,

ur the 1st person ive come into contact with that had it as bad as i did, were u able to breast feed?? I couldnt do it i lasted maybe 2 weeks,

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" I don't mind. No, I didn't. I was extremely ... [snip!] ... ive come into contact with that had it as bad as i did, were u able to breast feed?? I couldnt do it i lasted maybe 2 weeks,"

First I was on lithium because they thought it was bipolar disorder, then I got on Zoloft and Ativan(sp?).

No, I couldn't breastfeed because LO was in NICU for 9 days and after taking a bottle he didn't want to latch. I EP'ed for about 4 weeks before switching to formula. I think not being able to BF/him being preemie and in NICU had a lot to do with the depression.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" First I was on lithium because they thought it was bipolar disorder, then I got on Zoloft and Ativan(sp?). ... [snip!] ... before switching to formula. I think not being able to BF/him being preemie and in NICU had a lot to do with the depression. "</blockquote>




Ohhh yeah I know how that is, my 1st was in nicu for 6 weeks, I wasn't able to hold him till he was 3 weeks, I was never able to bf him from me   and I still bonded better with him, than I did with Jade  

Do u feel like u have been able to bond with him since getting help?? Sometimes I don't really feel like I have, she's very tempermental, and only wants to be with my husband... I kinda just use excuse that she's a daddys girl, but I feel terrible about it, I try and play with her and cuddle with her but its just odd, I'm not sure if its just in my head or what...  

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" First I was on lithium because they thought ... [snip!] ... about it, I try and play with her and cuddle with her but its just odd, I'm not sure if its just in my head or what...  "

I feel the same way sometimes. I actually lost custody of him for awhile because of the attempt, but I got it back and he stays home with me all the time so our bond is pretty strong. But there's always that feeling of him not really being "mine" and it kind of makes me sad. Especially since my second child was born term, exclusively breastfeeds, and is so attached to me and no one else....I kind of feel like I'm playing favorites[although of course I love both my sons equally].

<blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" I feel the same way sometimes. I actually lost custody of him for awhile because of the attempt, but ... [snip!] ... attached to me and no one else....I kind of feel like I'm playing favorites[although of course I love both my sons equally]. "</blockquote>




I understand, my youngest is my lil pet... I bf him till 11 months, he's. Fairly independent but, our relationship comes naturally, where as with Jade I realize I have to tell myself, to hug her, kiss her, even playing with her...

sometimes I catch myself just gushing over her, like when we made
mud pies for her school for halloween, I gave her the huge bowl of th
e pudding bag of gummie worms and whisk and she sat there as cute as could be, putting 1 worm at a time and stirring it in, and I was just in awe of the *PIXS* and how sweet she looked in the *PIXS* it just kills me because she's a lil person, and I adore her in pixs or drawings she makes, and not so much, *Jade* I don't know if that makes sense  

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" I feel the same way sometimes. I actually ... [snip!] ... a lil person, and I adore her in pixs or drawings she makes, and not so much, *Jade* I don't know if that makes sense  "

Of course, you love her, so naturally you're going to want to bug and kiss her but I totally know what you're saying about it not coming naturally. I feel like I have no clue what I'm doing with either of my kids, although I find my youngest MUCH easier to take care of[but that just might be because he's a baby lol]. It doesn't help either that DH is always telling me I have no clue what I'm doing and I suck at parenting.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" Of course, you love her, so naturally you're going to want to bug and kiss her but I totally know what ... [snip!] ... a baby lol]. It doesn't help either that DH is always telling me I have no clue what I'm doing and I suck at parenting.  "</blockquote>



I would punch him in the throat if he ever said that to me...

Even as a baby she was a pain to deal with, she screams, bloody murder, all day... I been sahm since I got preg with her may of '09, I started bartending part time this summer, just to put her in learning academy full time... just so I could get a break from her  

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" Of course, you love her, so naturally ... [snip!] ... bartending part time this summer, just to put her in learning academy full time... just so I could get a break from her  "

Yeah he can be a douche lol. See the weird thing was my first was an ANGEL. Looking back I can't believe I thought I was incapable of taking care of him now that my second baby is a real horror lol. But that's was PPP does, distorts your reality as I'm sure you know.
When he was taken from me, I went back to work full time since I couldn't be a SAHM anymore. But my job was 55 hours a week. I saw him maybe an hour a day from the time he was 15 months old till 2 years old.   But I like to think that I'm making up for it since I spend every second with him nowadays lol. I wish he was in part time daycare just for a couple days so I can get a break. He receives speech/learning therapy everyday which is sort of a break.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" Yeah he can be a douche lol. See the weird thing was my first was an ANGEL. Looking back I can't believe ... [snip!] ... daycare just for a couple days so I can get a break. He receives speech/learning therapy everyday which is sort of a break. "</blockquote>




dean was a saint as a baby, toddler, around 4ish he lost his marbles... he's 6 1/2 now and has adhd and odd, soooo he's a real peach to have around, lol but he still dosnt get to me the way jades shrills and just her temperment does...


I knew something was wrong right awayafter I had her, my 1st was born with his organs and intestines outside of his body, he had 2 surgeries and was in nicu for 6 weeks, I was single, and I was a rock!!!!! As soon as she was born, I was a mess, I saw my husband run across room to burp her after my aunt fed her, and right away I thought, "wtf, he's over me, he dosnt love me, he dosnt even care that I just had a baby!!!!" It was all down hill from there  

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" Yeah he can be a douche lol. See the ... [snip!] ... "wtf, he's over me, he dosnt love me, he dosnt even care that I just had a baby!!!!" It was all down hill from there  "

Oh wow. With my first I was just kind of numb to the whole thing. When he was in NICU I cried everyday, wishing he was home but when we actually took him home I was so nervous....like more nervous than a first time mother usually is. And it never went away until the attempt.
With my second, we had a bond from birth. I have never felt like I couldn't handle it or I was doing it wrong. I got nervous once because he cried all day and refused to eat, so I took him to the pedi. Sure enough he had hand foot and mouth disease and he was dehydrated. His pedi commented on how good my maternal instincts were to catch it so early. I've never felt the insecurity I felt[and still feel] with this baby that I have/had with my first. It's weird because he's a much fussier, high needs baby than my first was.

Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:" It might have been PPD but could also have been PPP which is much, much worse."

What is PPP?

Quoting RonniG:" Mine got super bad before I went to the doctor. I couldn't leave the house without thinking everyone ... [snip!] ... could nolonger take care of my son. I just sat there and stared at him and cried. It does get THAT bad. Sad no one helped her."

She went to the doctor and was put on anti-depressants but I guess it was too late because the following week she shot herself.