Keeping up this charade.

I can't keep this charade up. I need to get it out of my system, and I don't feel safe doing it on my account, hence why I'm posting it under this account...

My husband is with another girl, I call her a girl, because that's what she is, a girl. We are still legally married, haven't file for divorce let alone separation. And he purposed to her. Bought her a ring with OUR joint zales account.... I plan on claiming this is the divorce.. Petty? Yes. Do I give a smurf? No.

I don't know what to do, I refuse to throw ages around, but know that she is under 18, and he's over 20. He promised that he would stay living here until I get on my feet and today, he came home and said they are going to get an apartment together and move in together. Leaving me to pay close to $3,000 a month in bills, when I have no job. He promised he was going to go get food tonight and stay home with the kids, he got home from work to grab clothes, and left. We have barely ANY food, we have NO money because he drained our account, that was our kids Christmas money. I have a separate account from him, which has some money in it, but most of that has to now go towards the bills, and food.

He doesn't see that he's choosing this girl over his kids, he's blind to that fact. He seems to think that everything's okay with what he's doing, because and I quote " He's just doesn't want to be AROUND ME. It has nothing to do with the kids.". I wish he could see the ONLY person he's hurting right now are his kids, who love him regardless and hold him at such a high esteem, that frankly he doesn't deserve.

I need to know what I can do. I need to know what steps I need to enact. I haven't told my mom yet, because frankly, I've been to depressed to even talk to her. I don't want to disappoint her. And plus today's her birthday I'd never do that to her.... Ever.

I just need help.

Wow what an smurf... I would start applying for jobs and assistance. I'm so sorry this is happening to you and the kids.

Calm down and know that everything will eventually work out. (Hugs)

This sounds just like what my mom is doing. She is married and has a boyfriend that she is constantly putting before her kids. My 2 younger brothers live at home still and when I had to babysit them I had to buy them food with money we really didn't have because the food was all spoiled and one of my brothers is diabetic so we needed juice in the house in case his sugar dropped. My stepdad filed for divorce and they go to court on Monday.
I would get a lawyer (in most states there is free legal aid available and you should qualify). I would file for divorce right away and state all of the above as reason why. I know in MI adultery is still a felony, so my stepdad has a really good chance of getting everything he wants.
I also think that's really screwed up he is using your joint account to buy a ring for his gf  

If I were in ur situation, id go down to social services, get cash aid and food stamps, they will open child support case against him and u can prob get advice on how to divorce him and what to do from there... try and get alimony... I would look into free legal aid so they can help u prepare ur divorce papers and get custody agreement going

What a smurf face. Get on assistance, when you tell them your situation they will help you with what steps to take: CS, etc. maybe even help you with a lawyer. I am soo sorry

I think you need to go to your mother. She can help you. If my child was ever in a situation like this, I would be so upset if they didn't come to me because they thought I would be disappointed in them. You didn't do anything!! The smurf did. Family is there to help. Go to them. Then, you need to go and file for divorce. Get the ball rolling with that. Apply for assistance if you think you need it. Oh, and SAVE everything between you and your husband. All texts, emails, whatever. Write down things he says. Save all documents. You'll be needing that.

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" If I were in ur situation, id go down to social services, get cash aid and food stamps, they will open ... [snip!] ... get alimony... I would look into free legal aid so they can help u prepare ur divorce papers and get custody agreement going"

I can't file for support/assistance until we are legally separated. When I asked him what he planned on doing with the house, he said let the bank take it.  . So what? We are homeless?

Quoting Carol  :" This sounds just like what my mom is doing. She is married and has a boyfriend that she is constantly ... [snip!] ... getting everything he wants. I also think that's really screwed up he is using your joint account to buy a ring for his gf  "

Well even if it's not a felony, the state I live in has strict statutory rape laws.

It's just hard. I don't know what to do or think. Everything I thought he was, was a lie.

Quoting Olive ♥:" I think you need to go to your mother. She can help you. If my child was ever in a situation like this, ... [snip!] ... you and your husband. All texts, emails, whatever. Write down things he says. Save all documents. You'll be needing that."

If worse come to worse, I can just supeona (sp) his texts from the provider seeing as how my mom is the one who is the account carrier and stuff.

And I'm just worried. I know my mom would pay off my mortgage and give everything to me she could, I just don't feel right doing that to her. They are not rich by any means, but I know my mom would take out a 3-4 mortgage to pay off mine. That's just how she is. And it kills me to put her in that situation.

Quoting A&J. ♥:" What a smurf face. Get on assistance, when you tell them your situation they will help you with what steps to take: CS, etc. maybe even help you with a lawyer. I am soo sorry"

That's what I've been calling him since November when all this came out.

<blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" I can't file for support/assistance until we are legally separated. When I asked him what he planned on doing with the house, he said let the bank take it.  . So what? We are homeless? "</blockquote>




Can u guys put house up for sale?? Idk how much u owe but even if u break even it would be better than losing it, look into free legal aid if u can't get a lawyer,

You just found out about all of this in Nov and he already asked her to marry him?

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" I can't file for support/assistance until ... [snip!] ... how much u owe but even if u break even it would be better than losing it, look into free legal aid if u can't get a lawyer,"

We could put the house up, but I don't think we'd get ANYTHING near what we owe on it. The only thing I can think of it rent it out to college students because it's minutes from the local community college.

Quoting Hairspray:" You just found out about all of this in Nov and he already asked her to marry him?"

It's possible they have been dating for some time. My mom swears she's only been dating her new bf for like 2 months but they have been 'talking' on FB for like 5 years and I found out the other day, they have plans to get married as soon as my mom is divorced.