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I don't normally have issues with porn. But, when it's affecting your relationship, it has to be addressed. If he doesn't want to be intimate with you, but will watch porn, then he has a problem and needs to work on it. A lot of the dating sites are pop ups, though. I would still ask, to be sure.

He could have just gotten use to it while he was over seas. Maybe try talking to him about it and letting him know you would like for him to come to you first for that kind of satisfaction.

That's messed up

Quoting .:ANIMAL:.:" I know some of you will say it's no big deal, and will tell me I'm being dramatic, but it really hurts ... [snip!] ... kids and then he just wants to look at porn...he doesn't even try to be intimate anymore, and I really don't know what to do."

Why will he not have relations with you?

I am fine with porn, unless it is interfering with the relationship, as it is in your instance.

Talk to him, let him know how it makes you feel

Does he ever watch movies or tv shows online? Yesterday I was on 1channel and like a million porn an dating sites popped up it was insane.

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" I don't normally have issues with porn. But, when it's affecting your relationship, it has to be addressed. ... [snip!] ... then he has a problem and needs to work on it. A lot of the dating sites are pop ups, though. I would still ask, to be sure."

This.

Quoting tonys_mama(army wife):" Does he ever watch movies or tv shows online? Yesterday I was on 1channel and like a million porn an dating sites popped up it was insane."

No these were specific...there were google searches for "Brunettes with big tits" and it's just making me sick...I seriously am crying right now...I thought I was enough for him...obviously not...and now I just feel like because I'm bald and sick, that I'll never be enough for him.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Crystal Marie S.:</b>" I don't normally have issues with porn. But, when it's affecting your relationship, it has to be addressed. ... [snip!] ... then he has a problem and needs to work on it. A lot of the dating sites are pop ups, though. I would still ask, to be sure."</blockquote>


This.
The fact that he won't be intimate with you but clearly still has the desire to be sexual in some way, is an issue IMO. Maybe just talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. That's what I would do.

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" I don't normally have issues with porn. But, when it's affecting your relationship, it has to be addressed. ... [snip!] ... then he has a problem and needs to work on it. A lot of the dating sites are pop ups, though. I would still ask, to be sure."

I agree with this completely.

If porn is mutually agreed on, no problem. But when ONE of the partners does not feel the same about it, it needs to be discussed. Him refusing to have sex with you, but looking at porn is a big red flag.

Honestly, you need to speak with him. Chill out and have a civil conversation with him about why you are upset and what he can do to solve the problem. Maybe he's addicted? But there's no point in holding it in and wondering "what if" this and "what if" that.

I think porn is still incidental. Meaning, there is a reason he isn't wanting to have sex. He may be filling that void with porn, but I don't believe porn creates that void. Why isn't he having sex with you? Are there stresses? Health concerns? Anything that could lead him to not want to have sex? If so then I think THOSE need to be dealt with. Porn is simply filling the void made by those other issues.

You really do need to address it calmly and maturely with him. Porn addiction is something that can get very serious. My SO had a porn addiction that affected our sexual relationship as well. He luckily got help from a friend and stopped. But because of it and past experience with lying to me we started reading a book about a lady who's husband was a pastor and ended up being so addicted to porn and he couldn't stop at that and ended up cheating on er and knocked a lady up. It can really spiral out of control. I know some people thi k it's harmless, but when it's a secret addiction and it's affecting your relationship that is wrong and needs to be addressed. Good luck sweetie. If you need to talk I'm here.

<blockquote><b>Quoting .:ANIMAL:.:</b>" No these were specific...there were google searches for "Brunettes with big tits" and it's just making ... [snip!] ... was enough for him...obviously not...and now I just feel like because I'm bald and sick, that I'll never be enough for him.  "</blockquote>




Aww I'm sorry Hun! Tell him how it makes you feel.im sure he loves you and is just being a man and not thinking about how it makes you feel.

Quoting .:ANIMAL:.:" No these were specific...there were google searches for "Brunettes with big tits" and it's just making ... [snip!] ... was enough for him...obviously not...and now I just feel like because I'm bald and sick, that I'll never be enough for him.  "

I'm so sorry

He should be more aware of your feelings

Quoting .:ANIMAL:.:" No these were specific...there were google searches for "Brunettes with big tits" and it's just making ... [snip!] ... was enough for him...obviously not...and now I just feel like because I'm bald and sick, that I'll never be enough for him.  "

You have Cancer. I'm pretty sure you didn't ask for it. If he is seriously not being intimate with you because of that, he is a low life. He shouldn't be in love with you for your hair.

I'm so so sorry you have to go through this on top of whatever else is going on in your life right now, but don't think badly about yourself because of HIS problem.