re: Abstinence Education vs. Sex Education.

So, almost no one in this thread feels that abstinence should even be brought up?

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" So, almost no one in this thread feels that abstinence should even be brought up?"</blockquote>



No that is definitely false. I believe it should be brought up but also sex education should be taught. That should be the focus.

Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" So, almost no one in this thread feels that abstinence should even be brought up?"

I feel that no matter how much you talk about abstinence with your kids, they are the ones who are going to be making the decision on weither they want to wait or not. We as parents cant 100% control that. KWIM?

Yes its talked about a lot for us, but my main concern is the knowledge of what happens when you do have sex. Knowing all the dangers and having the knowledge of all aspects of sex.

Std's most importantly pregnancy, use of condoms and BC etc......

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" So, almost no one in this thread feels ... [snip!] ... that is definitely false. I believe it should be brought up but also sex education should be taught. That should be the focus."

Okay, because I wasn't really seeing many posts that supported doing both.

Quoting crazy coupon lady:" I feel that no matter how much you talk about abstinence with your kids, they are the ones who are ... [snip!] ... dangers and having the knowledge of all aspects of sex. Std's most importantly pregnancy, use of condoms and BC etc...... "

Yes, of course and I do agree. I will teach both and highly encourage birth control and safe sex if that is the way they choose to go.

I really try not to live under a rock!  

Quoting Rafael's Mommy ♥:" HPV can go away?? I thought you had it for life  "

Nope, it goes away. They say once you get warts you will always have them which is a strain of HPV but that isn't true and not all HPV causes warts. There are soooo many strains, some can cause cancer, some don't & go away & some cause warts. I had HPV once, they did a biopsy to check & see which strain it was & they told me it would go away on it's own & not cause problems. It did & I haven't had an abnormal pap since.

Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" So, almost no one in this thread feels that abstinence should even be brought up?"

I would explain to her about STD's & pregnancy and that the only way to avoid them is to be abstinent. Doesn't mean I am going to tell her "Don't have sex until you are married, because you will go to HELL!!" lmao.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" So, almost no one in this thread feels that abstinence should even be brought up?"</blockquote>




No one said it shouldn't be brought up. I decided at a young age that I only ever wanted to be with one man in my entire life and sure enough at 26 years old and after being with DH for 9 years he is the only man I have ever been sexual with in any type of way and I hope it remains that way forever. My reasons are not religious however, I made that choice for very personal reasons and that is the point. My child will make their own personal choice because it is not my place to impose on them my personal views, they will form their own. I can only hope to equip them with the knowledge so that in no matter what they do sexually they are safe and have a respect for themselves and their partners, wether that be 1 lifetime partner or 100 and they also enter into each sexual situation because it's what they personally want and not because they feel pressured or needy or whatever but because they feel comfortable and happy to. To teach a child abstinence and that sex before Marriage is wrong is trying to force your views on them and making them feel guilty about feelings that are perfectly natural, it also leaves them ill equipped to really deal with sexual relationships.

EDIT: I believe putting abstinence on the table as an option is good and letting them know that this is also something they could choose if they wish as many people do but teaching abstinence as the *right* option IMO is completely wrong.

Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" So, almost no one in this thread feels that abstinence should even be brought up?"

Didn't say that ... however I think if I had a teenager I think I would be seen as a hypocrite talking about waiting for marriage when SO and I aren't married and won't be anytime soon. After 9 years we're quite happy being legal defacto.

Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" So, almost no one in this thread feels that abstinence should even be brought up?"

did you just skip over my posts or something?

of course it should be brought up, but not as the only option.

Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" Okay, because I wasn't really seeing many posts that supported doing both."

saying you are against abistence education doesn't mean you won't teach your kid about abstinence. it means you don't want that taught in schools.

Quoting Rafael's Mommy ♥:" HPV can go away?? I thought you had it for life  "

Nope, lots of times your body will just get rid of it naturally. There is no "cure" for it, but it does go away for many people.

Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" So, almost no one in this thread feels that abstinence should even be brought up?"

I agree with you on pretty much everything you have said. And I do believe that abstinence SHOULD be brought up. I will be teaching my kids sex education along with abstinence. I think both are important.

Quoting ❥ Meℓi:" So, I am watching Dr. Phil & there are both sides debating right now. All I can think of is how Abstinence ... [snip!] ... rate of teen pregnancy. So my question is, which do you think is better Abstinence Education or Sex Education, and why?"

Both are important. I believe in abstinence, but that is not for everyone. Gotta be realistic. If sex ed isn't taught, then unplanned and unwanted pregnancies will occur. Give them the tools to make the best decisions for themselves and hope that they think more with their heads than their hormones.

Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" So, almost no one in this thread feels that abstinence should even be brought up?"

No because no one is making sex choices based on the fact their parents feel they should abstain. Abstinence is rarely achieved as it is, and it's so personal that a parent pushing the issue isn't going to have much to any affect on their children. Basically there is no point to teaching it.