Forums > Pregnancy IssuesPage 1 2 3by: Chelsey Lee

Babys last name...

posted 6th Dec
I am 34 weeks and I did some thinking the other day and I would like some opinions because I wanna know if I'm wrong in making a decision like this... Okay... My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now, and I'm pretty sure our relationship is now coming to an end... we JUST finally moved in together and I don't know if I was just trying to pretend the last 8 months or what... but he is selfish and lazy and not the person I want to be with, I think I have been trying to mask everything so that I could keep some glue on having a family and raising our son together instead of in seperate homes, because we all know how hassel that can be... well anyways when I first found out I was pregnant I had HG severely bad I was hospitalized and had to have IVs daily and was put on bed rest for almost 5 months until I started getting better... I was so sick I literally thought I was going to die, I couldnt even do my own dishes, and he fought with me all the time saying I was lazy even after he went to the drs with me and heard everything they said and seen every treatment they did... smells would be so bad that I would vomit uncontrollably and one day we had the windows down and drove by mcdonalds and i asked him to roll his up and he started screaming at me saying he was sick of losing his life bc of my "sickness" it was getting on his nerves... it made me cry and i felt like a baby but I mean... wtf about eveything I've given up? I lost my life for 6 months... and I never wanted pity and still dont but smurf thats kinda smurfed up right? And then there was an issue with my U/E and my money got cut off and I moved in with my parents and my dad kicked me out because he was a drunk so I was literally homeless for a little over a month and my BF would not let me stay with him because his mom and him live together and she doesnt like me... I constantly told him I thought it was shallow and messed up that he couldnt help me when I was so down and out while pregnant with his child he should want to help until I could at least figure something out... well now life has gotten better for me... I'm 8.5 months I'm feeling alot better and finally have my own home because the issue with my money was resolved in november... well I am sure that we are not ever going to get married, I dont even know if we're going to last... and I got to thinking the other day, I want our son to hve his last name... but honestly I dont think he deserves it he hasnt helped me with anything... but that isnt the reasoning... I got to thinking I don't want to have a different last name from my son... it seems kind of depressing to me... especially when if things dont work out I will be the only one doing anything and have been the only one this far... I know its just a name but I feel like it holds something more than that,... something special.... am I wrong???? I told him the other night I plan on using my last name for the baby and he flipped out on me screaming he was going to take me to court and they would change it to his last name... and he would take the baby fom me and all this other bullsmurf... I'm definitely not trying to fight with him over it, fighting over something like this seems too childish for me... I just want some feedback, I don't feel like I'm wrong but....
quotesmurfs?
I have 1 child & live in New York
posted 6th Dec
Just use your last name. Or you could hyphen it. But it's easier to change a name back to the fathers last name if you both agree than to change it back to yours if you don't. KWIM?
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I have 1 child & live in Faribault, Minnesota
posted 6th Dec
If you want the baby to have your last name, give it your last name. I did.
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I have 1 child & live in Alabama
posted 6th Dec
Give the baby your last name... It's your decision. By they way you are due on my daughters 1st birthday :-)
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I have 1 child & live in Mt Clemens, Michigan
posted 6th Dec
.....................
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I have 1 child & live in Mt Clemens, Michigan
posted 6th Dec
That decision is up to you, girl. You are the one carrying that baby. Just because they won't have the same last name doesn't mean he isn't his father. And if you guys aren't going to be together, I think he should have your last name just incase his dad decides not to be around (not that he will, but you never know). If he does take you to court I highly doubt they will just change his last name & let him take your son. It doesn't work like that, at least not around here. Good luck, girl! Do what you feel comfortable with. Like I said, he's growing inside of you! You have more say so IMO.
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I have 1 child & live in Florida
posted 6th Dec
Wow, I posted four times, sorry my iPad froze!
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I have 1 child & live in Mt Clemens, Michigan
posted 6th Dec
My 1st son has my last name... when we went to court, I said I wasn't going to change it and the judge didn't order it, my ex still isn't even on birth certificate and my sons 61/2, his dad has had joint custody since Dean was 3.

I didn't and still don't believe he deserves his last name, I will never change it. Even tho I am married now, I still have same last name as Dean.
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I have 3 kids & live in California
posted 6th Dec
You can't put his name on the birth certicate if he doesnt go the hospital. I personal would do your last night and then it can always be changed if you wanted or if you guys decide to get married. He can't take your son away from you its very hard to prove a mom unfit.
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I'm due January 1st, have 4 kids & live in Indiana
posted 6th Dec
If you dont think you'll last then I'd deffinately keep it your last name. I would just be like " I dont like your last name. Kinda like the time you wouldnt let me move in with you because your mom doesn't like me!" :-P
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I have 2 kids & live in Ohio
posted 6th Dec
After the way hes treated you throughout your pregnancy, no, i would not give the baby his last name. Just my opinion. He didnt care if you were homeless while carrying his baby and he knew how sick you were. Thats messed up. You can always change the babys name later if things change.
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I have 2 kids & live in Indiana
posted 6th Dec
Give the baby your last name. It's MUCH easier to change the baby's last name if you get married than it is to change it to yours if the father decides not to stick around. I speak from personal experience. I gave my son his last name and then he split. It cost me $300 AND I had to wait until he hadn't been around for over five years.
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I have 2 kids & live in Alpharetta, Georgia
posted 6th Dec
Quoting Bryelle's Mommy:" Wow, I posted four times, sorry my iPad froze!"




haha it's ok... thank you for all the input... i just felt so down like I was a POS for not giving him his fathers last name..
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I have 1 child & live in New York
posted 6th Dec
Honestly if it were me I would have left him already! Give the baby your last name. If he wants in the child's life he will fight for it. Don't put yourself through his unnessary bs just because he got you pregnant. You will find a man who will bend over backwards for your every need. If my husband or any guy for that matter treated me with such disrespect he would be lucky if I ever talked to him again. If he threatens court let him, the moat they will do is allow him to have visits and you can specify that they need to be monitored due to his previous outbursts. Good luck and try not to stress.
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I have 2 kids & live in Beaverton, Oregon
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