Why don't I hurt more?

I hurt, don't get me wrong. With my last loss 10 years ago when I was 25, I was a wreck. I couldnt eat, sleep, function, whatever. I was such a mess.

This time, while I'm sad.... I'm able to live normally. Occasionally, I'll think about something and go "oh yeah... I'm not pregnant anymore". And I tear up a little, but for the most part, it's like nothing has changed. I know we were initially really scared because we were pregnant... worried about finances and handling 2 small children, but we started getting excited about it.

Am I blocking this out or something? I feel like I should be crying more or more upset. I dont know

I understand how sad it is to lose a child but maybe in a way you are a little relieved? I apologize if that comes across weird.
You said you were worried about a bunch of things so maybe it's a little sad relief you don't have to worry about that stuff right now?

Smurffy as it sounds, it got easier for me to get over my losses after I had healthy children. I was wrecked the first time and the second and third got gradually easier to move on from. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you can continue to get better.

Just like every pregnancy is different, everybody is different, and they handle things differently. Don't feel bad because you're not as distraught as you were before with a loss, It is never an easy thing to go through, but you're just handling it differently this time around. My sister lost a child some months ago, right around when I found out I was pregnant and she showed no emotion whatsoever, you would've never known she had gone through anything. For all you know it may hit you when you least expect it, in the meantime just try to focus on positive things.

No its not weird, wrong or strange. People deal with things differently. How far along were you? I know i had a lose at 16, it was devastating, with this pregnancy, this was the first one i wasnt scared about losing. Like oh well, you know. I know that sounds messed up. I dont know how to explain it really well.

you may be blocking it out or just be better at coping than the first time it happened to you. i know this is different, but the first time my husband went on deployment i freaked out for the whole time leading up and the whole thing, and i didnt the second time even though i would say i was more attached. i just realized that freaking out didnt change anything and i handled it a lot better.

When I lost my son 2 years ago it took me a little over a week to finally break down. I didn't even cry at his funeral and I thought something was wrong with me cuz I felt nothing. No emotions at all. Then something someone said made me break down and then I couldn't stop crying. I think it's normal. Don't feel bad about not being more emotional. Everyone grieves in their own way.

Thank you guys... I just didnt know if something was wrong with me or....

And maybe you're right. I have a healthy toddler at home, and maybe thats why I'm taking it better than last time. I know that this WAS my last shot at having a baby. I'm turning 35 soon, and IMO, by the time we're ready to try for another, I"ll be too old.

I feel the same. My first miscarriage was almost 13 years ago. This process has been.......odd. I am sad, I desperately want to be pregnant again. But, I am oddly at peace. I don't know why. I have had a lot of guilt that I caused this, but I remember when I first took the test, it didn't feel........normal. Something felt off. I took test after test, I have never done this with previous pregnancies. I remember telling Dusty something wasn't normal, it was weird. The past week or so I will stop myself and wonder why I am not in this depressive state I was 13 years ago. Life feels so.........normal. Nothing has been interrupted much because of this. And I literally bled no more than a heavy period. I am having issues processing the fact I was even pregnant, and now I am not. I feel like I am a walking bomb physical and emotional bomb ticking  

Quoting Moses.:" I feel the same. My first miscarriage was almost 13 years ago. This process has been.......odd. I am ... [snip!] ... the fact I was even pregnant, and now I am not. I feel like I am a walking bomb physical and emotional bomb ticking  "

I told DH the same thing... I told him that I had a strong feeling that this pregnancy wasn't going to make it. I told him that on several occasions. I guess I just... knew.

Sorry and for the mama that asked, I was almost 11 weeks. I guess I thought I was in the clear, but evidently I wasn't.

Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:" I told DH the same thing... I told him that I had a strong feeling that this pregnancy wasn't going ... [snip!] ... Sorry and for the mama that asked, I was almost 11 weeks. I guess I thought I was in the clear, but evidently I wasn't."

i'm sorry for your loss, but i don't think you have to feel any particular way when you have a miscarriage.

it's a strange thing to undergo, i still haven't had one -- but i was very ready for one when i was pregnant b/c of how common they are.

and i don't think i'd have been upset or torn up in the way people think we should feel for our children, for example.

at that point max was just an idea... i could hardly process the fact of being pregnant b/c i simply didn't feel pregnant -- i didn't feel pregnant until i felt him inside of my body moving, and even then i didn't "love" him.

now? now the love is fierce and more powerful than anything i've ever felt for any other human, but ... not that idea. that idea and my four year old super-amazing boy are not the same thing...

and - last thought: after 13 weeks, your risk goes waaay down, but even still it can happen in the latter two trimesters unexpectedly. it did to both nick's mom and mine.

And of course. The minute I say something, the floodgates open and I cant stop crying. I'm stuck at work. My vag feels like someone tried to climb in, I'm still cramping and spotting, all just reminders. Couple that with a smurffy day at work, and I'm a wreck right now. Sitting at my desk just crying away.

Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:" And of course. The minute I say something, the floodgates open and I cant stop crying. I'm stuck at work. ... [snip!] ... all just reminders. Couple that with a smurffy day at work, and I'm a wreck right now. Sitting at my desk just crying away."

*hugs* I am so sorry hun   I wish I could make it better for you somehow  

Quoting Moses.:" *hugs* I am so sorry hun   I wish I could make it better for you somehow  "

Thank you. I didnt expect to... feel. I guess I was trying to be strong. All I want to do is go home and hug my baby

I remember with my first, I hadn't known I was pregnant until I was miscarrying so I didn't really know HOW to feel. I'd never had a child before, I was only 19, I was just idk numb. Two-ish weeks later, someone I knew brought there new baby into work, and I help her, and I couldn't stop crying.

The second time, I felt so much guilt. I had talked with Sean about not being sure if I could handle a pregnancy at the weight I was, dealing with school and a baby who wasn't even a year. I started bleeding right after my ultrasound and I just knew. Then I felt like it was all my fault and I had somehow caused it.

I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop this time. I pretty much knew as soon as I started bleeding, but I kept hoping that I was wrong. It didn't seem as traumatic or painful, and the past few days I've been cleaning and carrying on like everything is normal. My friend just had a baby, we'll be going there Saturday and I'm assuming that'll be my breakdown day. I'm almost 24, I know that isn't old at all, but I feel like maybe we should just be done, because I can't really imagine being pregnant and possibly losing another baby.
Sorry for the novel :/