Mother in Law..in the delivery room

I'm going to try to make this story short but I want everyone to havesome background on my MIL.

MILis an alcholic who drinks boxed wine from a coffee mug to try to fool everyone, falls alseep with cigs burning,smokespot, etc. MIL didn't really raise her son, and when she did have him she was an abusive mother. He sees her on the two major holidays and Mother's day, and only because she's his mom and he feels he has to. Other than that she calls about once a month when she's drunk and tries to fight with him, he just hangs up on her.

I, on the other hand, am EXTREMLY close with my mom, who my husband adores.

We got married in December, MIL wasn't happy about this, called him a few days after New Year's and told him to F off for never calling her or coming so see her (mind you, she doesn't come to see us.)

Well I found out in February that I was pregnant and I called her and left a messageEVERYDAY up until a week before Easter when she finally called him to see if we were coming over for Easter dinner and we were finally able to tell her the good news. That night was pure hell...as I was supposedlyhiding that I was pregnant from her, along with many other things. She also stated that she wanted to come to my next doc appt (like I really want MIL looking up my Va-J-J!!!)

So for Mother's day this year my mom and grandmother decided to have a get together at my mom's house to make things easy for me as I'm supposed to be on bedrest, my mom called MIL two weeks before the party and toldMIL the plan, what time to be there and double checked that she had directions (she only lives eight minutes from my mom's house.) Three days later MIL calls and bitchesmy husband out for me never calling to tell her what's going on, why I'm on bedrest, why I haven't included her in the pregnancy, blah blah blah.

SHE has a crib picked out to go with the nursery SHE has planned. SHE doesn't like the name we have picked out and says we HAVE to name him after the grandfather my husband never met. SHE doesn't like that the baby is due in October. SHE says we have to have the baby shower on this day. SHE SHE SHE. SHE wants to be the only person allowed in the delivery room. Not my husband or my mom, only HER! SHE wants us to come stay with her after the baby is born.
Nevermind that I have the crib that was used when I was a baby that my grandfather built! Nevermind that I already have my nursery room bought! Nevermind that this isMY child and I'll name it what I want. Nevermind that we can't control when the baby comes. Nevermind that I'm not the one planning the shower (and neither is she!) Nevermind that my doctor is making an exception from his one person rule and is allowing my husband and my mom in the delivery room. NEVERMIND THAT I WOULD NEVER SPEND THE NIGHT AT HER HOUSE MUCH LESS BRING MY BABY TO STAY THERE!!! Or that I have my own home to bring my child to.

She never bothered showing up mother's day, but she did call to bitch my husband out for us not coming to see her, even though she was told several times that it was either my mom's or nothing due to the toll traveling takes on me and bleeding due to placenta previa.

Mind you during all of this my husband's sister had a baby in February...MIL still hasn't gone to see her.

I've had nightmares since the beginning of my pregnancy about this woman's roll in my son's life. Is it wrong that I never want to leave my child alone with this woman? Is it wrong that I don't want her involved AT ALL in my child's life?!?! Is it wrong that I don't even want her at the hospital much less in the room?!?! Is the way I feel all to be blamed on being pregnant and the state of mind that comes along with that?!?!
I get completely stressed out and tense when I start thinking about all of this and I dread having to bring it up with my husband because like he says, she is his mom.
In the end, she is his mom.
But this is my son.

Personally, I would just try to have as little contact with her as possible. It sounds like she is just a source of stress for you, which you don't need at this time. Pregnancy is supposed to be a happy time, shame on her for making it stressful instead.
On another note, not to be nosy or anything, but you said that you are using a crib that your grandfather built for you when you were a baby? Have you checked to see if it fits all of the safety codes and everything? My boyfriend wanted to build the babys crib, but all of the safety regulations scare me, so I forced the issue of buying a crib. Just might be something you want to look into.

Wow hun, I dont think it wrong at all, ya she may be his mom but that gives her no right to do some of the things she is doing!! I have to say that I feel better about my MIL, she is crazy too but not that bad. I am really sorry, I know it doesnt help much but this is just what you have to deal with.

Quoting bAbe's Lil Mama:“ I'm going to try to make this story short but I want everyone to havesome background on my MIL. MILis ... [snip!] ... having to bring it up with my husband because like he says, she is his mom. In the end, she is his mom. But this is my son.”

do what i did;
dont tell ANYone when you go into labor [aside from the ppl YOU want] then have your baby and all that good stuff

This is your delivery you don't need anyone in there that could add to complications. You can't worry about hurting someone else’s feelings. She will get to see your baby after it‘s born this is not a matter of debate this is your delivery not a party that happens after   maybe thats something you could ask her to plain so she might feel more involved!! Good luck hunny!!  

Yah tha'ts just stupid. She needs to get over hjer self and if it takes your husband standing up to her then he should do it less stress on you. Also you can tell the DRs who you want in to see the baby and who not to let in and they'll abide by your rules.
I'm having a simmilar problem with my real dad he was hardly ever home and when he was he was abusing me and hurting me sexully. I've gotten over it but I do'nt want him anywear near my child even if h'es buying the crib. I mean he can see him but only if I'm around and I swear if he ever hurts my baby I'll tear him appart.

Wow, she sounds just like my grandma who died about 5 years ago. The last time I saw her alive was about 5 years or so before she died. She made my life hell and I didn't care for that so I quit talking to her. When she found out that I was pregnant with my 3rd child (meaning that I didn't get my tubes tied as she so ordered) she took me out of her will. Tell your husband that giving birth to someone doesn't allow them to hurt you and as hard as it may seem, he can respect his mom and not have to be around her. If it was me, I'd get my phone number changed and if she comes to your house, don't answer the door.

Quoting okaygoodbye:“ Personally, I would just try to have as little contact with her as possible. It sounds like she is just ... [snip!] ... all of the safety regulations scare me, so I forced the issue of buying a crib. Just might be something you want to look into.”

With my family every precaution is taken. There is no doubt in my mind that the crib is 100% safe and secure!

Quoting bAbe's Lil Mama:“ With my family every precaution is taken. There is no doubt in my mind that the crib is 100% safe and secure!”

I'm so sorry, you have a lot on your plate right now, you don't need the added stress. Maybe you should just tell her you are not going to deal with her directly any more and if she has questions or comments she needs to direct them to her son. Tell your husband to step up this is his mother after all, so it’s his responsibility to protect you and your baby from her bulling!! I really hope this gets better for you, hang in there!!

I'm just glad to know that I'm not the crazy one or that I'm not being a bitch. That I'm actually justified in the way I feel about this woman who I have no choice but to have in my life.

Quoting bAbe's Lil Mama:“ I'm just glad to know that I'm not the crazy one or that I'm not being a bitch. That I'm actually justified in the way I feel about this woman who I have no choice but to have in my life.”

No you’re not crazy and this dose really suck for you!! Hang in there! Sending you a smile!