do you have multiple children?

So, when I was pregnant with my middle child (of three) ihad a hard time connecting with her pregnancy. I had a hard time believing it was real and when she was really here, it still didn't feel real. I didn't have as close a bond with her as I did with my oldest. I loved her, of course, but we just were never as close. That same connection wasn't there. I always wondered if it was because my son was such a difficult baby and I had to give him my 110% all of the time, as opposed to my daughter who was always happy. Maybe her lack of need for me hindered our ability to bond as closely?

She is 3 1/2 years old now and still, our bond isn't the same as it is with my oldest. Now I have another child, and even with him, my bond is very strong. Maybe because I'm breastfeeding him and he cones to work with me? I dont know... I just wonder why my bond with my daughter is so different than it is with both of my sons?

Anyone else have this happen?

Even though mines not here till may, im horribly scared of it happening because i don't feel a connection. With this pregnancy.

Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" So, when I was pregnant with my middle child (of three) ihad a hard time connecting with her pregnancy. ... [snip!] ... I just wonder why my bond with my daughter is so different than it is with both of my sons? Anyone else have this happen?"

I have a totally different bond with my son than I do with my daughters...

Quoting S U Z I E:" I have a totally different bond with my son than I do with my daughters..."

Is it like this?
Is he more needy and dependent on you than they were?

That's sort of how I felt after DS was born.
I use to cry because I thought I loved him more then DD.

DD is 4 years older then DS and doesn't need me nearly as much and that's what I thought the reasoning behind it was.

But I learned that Mothers usually have a different bond with their sons than their daughters.
Just like the father and daughter bond is different compared to a father and son bond.

If that makes sense?

Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" Is it like this? Is he more needy and dependent on you than they were?"

Yes! And I feel closer to him than I do to the girls. Having him has made me understand where the phrase "mama's boy" came from, lol...

I was very excited and connected to my daughters. I don't know what I'm having but this is my third. I've been very detatched and I hope it goes away. Its hard feeling this way. I want to embrace my new baby with joy

i have a different bond with my son then i do with my daughter

With my first daughter we connected 110% she was a really easy baby , always content and smiling, only cried when wet, tired or in discomfort . My second daughter was completely night and day different. Screamed all the time for everything, only wanted me to nurse then screamed till I gave her to her father for snuggles lol I at one point felt like a walking boob, and that my baby hated me. I have a great relationship with both my girls now , my second just took a little more work lol
I miscarried twins and got pregnant shortly after with my son and felt completely disconnected the intire pregnancy but once he got here I was hooked , he's a real momma's boy which I adore. I'm expecting another boy in Feb. and really hope it's not another night and day different baby   I think it's like any other relationship takes paitences and a lot of work .

Im the same way actually. Except DD was my first. IDK if it was because I was just 18 (almost 19) when I had her and so young, The fact that she never really needed or wanted me much as a baby/toddler, or the fact that she was spoiled by everyone so i felt the need to be harder on her but I have never felt "close" to her. My two boys it is a whole other ball game. They are the apples of my eye and I have such a great bond with them. I love DD sure but some times I almost feel like she isn't even my kid ya know?

Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" So, when I was pregnant with my middle child (of three) ihad a hard time connecting with her pregnancy. ... [snip!] ... I just wonder why my bond with my daughter is so different than it is with both of my sons? Anyone else have this happen?"

My bond with my daughter (first born) is also different from my bond with my sons. I love them all.. but the bond is different. My daughter is wild and more independent... and thus I expect more from her. My son is laid back and very protective of his big sis and little brother.. but at the same time has a horrid temper. I'm currently breastfeeding my youngest and he's also more laid back. I don't know if it's because of age.. or what. My bond with my daughter was really really strong when I was pregnant to 2 years of age.. then I slacked off maybe to give her some space and so I could take care of my second born. They're all 2 years apart.. but I do love them all.   I'm happy that they chose me to be their mom.

I have an extremely different bond with Bella, my middle child as well. We are not nearly as close as I am to Alexa and Liam. Weird.

I have 3 and one on the way. I felt different with each pregnancy and now with each child. My oldest is my son and I remember his pregnancy and when I would feel him kick and so on and when he got here I had such a tight bond with him. Then when he was 2 I got pregnant with my daughter and I dont remember that pregnancy.. I didnt feel as attached as I was when I was pregnant with my son. But when she got here I felt more attached to her then I did my son if that makes sense? She was with me all the time. Everywhere I went she went and its still like that to this day. When I got pregnant with my second daughter the bond was there. So excited to have a new baby and gettin everything ready and it just seemed like I was pregnant forever and now shes here and I have a different bond with her then my other two. I cant say I love any of them any less then the other but I can say each one has a special place in my heart for different reasons but I love them just the same. Now with this pregnancy I feel as tho Im living in a dream land. Although I know Im prenant and im doing the things I should. Its still not totally sank in. and the weeks are just flying by at this point!

I definitely think that the more independent your child is, the less of a bond you get to create with them. With DS, he was really spoiled and had attachment issues from a young age, so as he grew and DD was born, I learned to not let her be that spoiled or become so dependent on me (if I was to keep my sanity, that is). Naturally, her and I aren't as close as DS & I are because she doesn't require as much attention. With this pregnancy being my last, me having my tubes tied, I'm starting to get closer to her because I know she's the only daughter I'll ever have, but I get 2 boys, if that makes sense. I love my kids equally, just different.. you do, too.. and that's perfectly okay. I think as long as it doesn't directly effect the kid, who cares? We're caring for and loving all of our kids, just in customized ways  

Quoting L&B +1:" I have an extremely different bond with Bella, my middle child as well. We are not nearly as close as I am to Alexa and Liam. Weird."

it makes me feel horrible, but I can't help how I feel. Of course, I don't love her any less I just dont feel as close to her. We dont "click." I wish we did. I feel like I don't worry about her nearly as much as I do the boys. I feel like she can hold her own more. For example, when my parents ask to have Cade and Maki for a sleepover Cade normally wants to stay home with me and Maki ASKS to go. I worry about Cade if he leaves but I never worry about Maki. Probably because since a baby she's never been dependent on me. With Cade, however, I dont think I ever really cut the cord from his days of being colic and never leaving my side. As a baby I had to put Maki in daycare immediately as I worked all the time, so from a young age I already knew she was fine without me. Colin has yet to leave me for a day, just like Cade.