Didn't see it coming...

So if you'll look at my last post about my fiance leaving me, this is continuance.

So last night I had a horrible dream about him killing himself. Woke up shaking. We haven't spoken in over a week and I took a leap and texted him asking how he was. He said he was fine and asked me the same. Skip forward a little he said he wanted to come over and talk, bring me some stuff and pick up his phone charger and some mail. He gets here and he's completely oposite how he treated me when he left. When he left he couldn't stand to be a short distance from me, and now he is smiling at me, cutting up and joking with me.

I start to joke around because of my nerves, even though it really hurts to see him. I sat next to him on the couch. Somehow we end up tickling each other and he flips me over into his lap and we make eye contact for a moment. He leans in and kisses me... I pull away because I was taken aback by this.

I broke down crying and instead of brushing me off like he did before he left he holds me, and tells me not to cry. Says it makes him feel down to see me this way. Everytime I get up he pulls me onto his lap and holds my hips or my hands. We keep talking and he tells me he wants me to take care of myself, stay in therapy and work on getting a job and he wants to work on himself.
That he won't just disappear this time.

I'm just confused as to what changed? I'm so confused...

he could be playing mind games id make sure smurfs going to change before u take him back.

Sounds like he needs to make up his mind.
Don't just let him get pootang and take off again.

I never read your post from before, but sometimes people need to be alone for a bit to find themselves. You're young, and I suspect he is too.

He could be playing you, or he might have just needed time. I'd take some time to figure things out before taking him back.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:</b>" Sounds like he needs to make up his mind. Don't just let him get pootang and take off again."</blockquote>



 

I think he sounds genuinely concerned for you and cares about your well being. Give it time and follow his advice.

He was supposed to come back and watch our show with me later, but when he got home he found out a cousin he was close to has a fatal seizure and died. I know it is true because on his facebook there are lots of people posting condolences for him and RIP messages. So he never showed up.
He said he was sorry that he couldn't come, and when I suggested hanging out next week he said 'sounds good'.

Another thing that really hurts is he doesn't want the kids around when he's here in case mending things doesn't work. He said he didn't want them to get hurt if they see him now and this whole thing winds up not working out period and he leaves for good and that it'd also hurt him to see them.

He's not moving back in, he's staying elsewhere, I even asked him to come back and he said he needed time to himself to think and that he wanted me to keep up my therapy and work on me.

Quoting Executionista:" He was supposed to come back and watch our show with me later, but when he got home he found out a cousin ... [snip!] ... him to come back and he said he needed time to himself to think and that he wanted me to keep up my therapy and work on me."

Honestly, I would suggest taking it super slow. I wouldn't mess around with him, have him stay over, etc. Definitely work on you, but if you still think you guys can work something out again, go for it, but just make sure he has your best interest before going completely back together.

Quoting Kaysay:" Honestly, I would suggest taking it super slow. I wouldn't mess around with him, have him stay over, ... [snip!] ... can work something out again, go for it, but just make sure he has your best interest before going completely back together."

This! Take his advice and work on yourself, you can tell he still loves you but isn't 100% on what he wants either, so time and seperation i think is the best for the both of you rite now, and know that if it is meant to be, then you two will be back together but i don't think rite now is a good time.

Quoting Radame N Angela Robles:" This! Take his advice and work on yourself, you can tell he still loves you but isn't 100% on what he ... [snip!] ... you rite now, and know that if it is meant to be, then you two will be back together but i don't think rite now is a good time."

 

Quoting Kaysay:"  "

He said he wasn't ready to come back, that's not even an issue. He told me he missed me when I saw him last night, and loved me but didn't want to because he's gotten hurt so much. Which I understand. But the fact that he still does makes me feel an ounce of hope. My biggest setback is trying to show him I've changed from being a self centered, selfish outright mean bitch when he's not around everyday. I still see love in his eyes, and he told me last night if he didnt have to go to a funeral today he'd have stayed the night. That little thing there made my heart do flips. This is how far it's come from him telling me to never speak to him again.

Before he even came over I sent him a text asking him if he was all right [funeral mentioned was his cousin] And he said
I'm okay, you?

I'm fine

Just fine?
Looking for jobs, the usual.

Then he proceeds to tell me he feels like he's going to have a mental breakdown because of all the smurf going on.

I told him how empty and broken I felt. Then he told me he knows exactly how I feel and it never gets easier. Which kind of hurt.

Then he agreed to come over and watch movies with me, which didn't happen because we wound up talking. He said he just needed time.

And that's hard because I'm a firm believer in anything can happen and today could be our last.

Quoting Executionista:" He said he wasn't ready to come back, that's not even an issue. He told me he missed me when I saw ... [snip!] ... He said he just needed time. And that's hard because I'm a firm believer in anything can happen and today could be our last."

  I'm sorry lady.... it is so hard when things are up in the air like that. Have you heard from him?
DH and I broke up for a few months when we had been dating for 3 years. We dated other people, I thought I was never going to talk to him again, and then it just worked out. We both needed time, maybe that is what you guys need...

Quoting -Kaysay-:"   I'm sorry lady.... it is so hard when things are up in the air like that. Have you heard from him? ... [snip!] ... I was never going to talk to him again, and then it just worked out. We both needed time, maybe that is what you guys need..."

Yeah he drove all the way to me after work on E in his tank just to be here. Which says something. He took a couple shots of tequila with my best friend while she was here and looked me directly in the eye and said "I love you so much, you have no idea." He said he wanted to come back but couldn't because he said he was afraid to argue and get hurt, and afraid he just wouldnt be able to make me happy.

Quoting Executionista:" Yeah he drove all the way to me after work on E in his tank just to be here. Which says something. He ... [snip!] ... back but couldn't because he said he was afraid to argue and get hurt, and afraid he just wouldnt be able to make me happy. "

  That really sucks dude. But I mean, you never know what could change/happen, you know?