I don't know what to do with myself most days. I have two boys who need their Mommy and who don't understand why I can't just pick up and carry on. And even with their unconditional love and kisses, my belly and my arms feel empty. Not even two weeks ago I was feeling them kick around in my tummy. My beautiful Lillian Rain always kicked so much more than brother. We were so excited to have twins...and to finally get our little girl to spoil and dress in pink. She was going to have some fun with 3 brothers! I had a lot of scares in the beginning of the pregnancy but this far in...we thought we were in the clear. My cervix was short and they were giving me progesterone to prevent me from dilating, but when I got to the hospital on Saturday night I was already dilated to 4cm, contracting hard, and Lilly's bag of water was bulging. My doctor seemed to be as heartbroken as we were. He informed me that the way I was progressing, and how small the babies were, there was nothing anyone could do. I would be delivering my babies and they were not going to survive. At 4:29am on November 25, Lillian Rain was born weighing 9oz and was 9in long. Her brother, Liam River followed 5 minutes later, weighing 8oz and measuring only 8 3/4in long. They were so incredibly beautiful and perfect in every way...but they couldn't live apart from me...so how will I live without them? I don't know how I will ever be ok knowing I can't hold them again. How do you get through this?...how do you carryon and take care of your older kids and house work when all you want to do is lay in bed and cry?? I'm so lost without my babies...I cling to my family and to my faith that they are forever with Jesus and one days will be too...but it still doesn't fill the hole, I just want my babies...
I'm sooooo very sorry for the loss of your twins. I've lost my babies earlier but it hurts sooooo much when you just want them back. maybe find something that reminds you of them in a positive way. I light candles when i'm missing my babies. It brings me comfort in dark days.
Good luck! Stay strong Mamma. I know a women on fb that makes bracelets for free for mothers who have lost babies. She's shipping mine soon & can't wait to receive it.
That's herfb. Called Edens wings
This woman makes neat things @ butterfly creations