vent....Child support. and Lazy parents, children...

I can't stand Lazy people especially parents. I know jobs are tough but really its not that hard to get one. Parents who sit at home and collect state aid and live in government housing and collect child support. parents who say they are improving... improving on what exactly? Yeah I have no problem with people who NEED the help but don't ride the system. DO something go actually DO something to better yourself. Also, keeping children away from the other parent in this case, idk about others but Its hurting your children, its bad when the children pray at night to live someplace other than their mothers house. they throw fits and tantrums because they don't want to go back there. There is something wrong. but there is nothing the other parent can do... Nothing. Its been 3 years! 3 years of this Lazy mom doing this( since I have known her). and every time she has the same sob story, I have this or that. I can't because of this... take the freaken T off and say you can... because YOU can. Take care of your children on your own without the help of the state or you can to the best of your abilities. I can understand if she still needs help because shes working full time but 10-15 hrs a week isn't going to cut it. She hasn't "changed" or tried to better herself one bit except the part time job in 3 years. For real... why don't you for real... " CHANGE" its time to grow up.


end vent, uggg I just can't vent anywhere else without getting myself in trouble so if you read all that thank you.

Are these children your children, or your step children?

Why don't you just stop being her "friend" and ignore her?

Does it really matter? Is it going to effect the outcome of your life?

No. It won't. How about instead of worrying about how other people live, worry about yourself.

Actually, it IS difficult to get a job these days. At least where I live. I've been actively pursuing job leads for 4 months now. I've had a few interviews but nothing yet. What is your relation to this supposed "lazy" mother? Why are you so concerned with her life?

There is nothing wrong with someone collecting child support, it's there for a reason. It's not the government giving them money, it's the government making a parent be financially responsible for a child they helped make.

Quit worrying with her life, worry about your own.

Quoting Leland makes Three =]:" I can't stand Lazy people especially parents. I know jobs are tough but really its not that hard to get ... [snip!] ... up. end vent, uggg I just can't vent anywhere else without getting myself in trouble so if you read all that thank you."

It's hard to know the specifics of the situation, but our "system" doesnt incent people to work.
Perhaps if your benefits expire she will get real about doing something productive with her life.
BUT, our society allows people to not take responsibility for themselves.
Some people really do need the help while others just would rather bump off the bottom of society.... with the government helping them stay there.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Michael Westen:</b>" Does it really matter? Is it going to effect the outcome of your life? No. It won't. How about instead of worrying about how other people live, worry about yourself."</blockquote>




Seriously, none of that is your business and in this economy a lot of people are out of work. Stop being a bitch.

Quoting SailorJerry:" Actually, it IS difficult to get a job these days. At least where I live. I've been actively pursuing ... [snip!] ... interviews but nothing yet. What is your relation to this supposed "lazy" mother? Why are you so concerned with her life?"

Plus, just try to find daycare with multiple children on one income. Hell, just for one kid.

Quoting The Doctor:" Plus, just try to find daycare with multiple children on one income. Hell, just for one kid."

No smurf!! We paid over $1100 when I was working. Now I'm just a SAHM because of that.

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" Plus, just try to find daycare with multiple children on one income. Hell, just for one kid."</blockquote>



I know, it's an awful catch 22 of a situation for a ton of families in this economy. I'm trying to coordinate a job where I work when Dh gets home to avoid daycare costs.

Quoting Michael Westen:" No smurf!! We paid over $1100 when I was working. Now I'm just a SAHM because of that."

I pay half my income in preschool for one child.

Really, I'm all for people working and supporting their own family, but when people can't afford their home or child care based on the income they're making, what are they supposed to do?



Yes, yes, I hear finding a higher paying job works wonders.

Quoting SailorJerry:" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" Plus, just try to find daycare with multiple ... [snip!] ... for a ton of families in this economy. I'm trying to coordinate a job where I work when Dh gets home to avoid daycare costs."

 

While DH was deployed (we weren't married at the time) literally his ENTIRE check went to his ex wife. So I worked a $10/hr job. I made it, and I was able to pay for my daughters birth (which I had to pay out of pocket because I lost my tricare 2 months before she was born) but I had to go get food stamps to make ends meet. Because if not, it was "okay do I pay for food so we can eat, or pay for daycare so I can work to feed us?"

God I got so much judgement for that!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Michael Westen:</b>"   While DH was deployed (we weren't married at the time) literally his ENTIRE check went to his ... [snip!] ... was "okay do I pay for food so we can eat, or pay for daycare so I can work to feed us?" God I got so much judgement for that!"</blockquote>




I feel you, it's a tough spot to be in at times. I've been so desperate for a job since I've had no luck after 4 months that I even applied at a few fast food chains last week. At this point I'd do basically anything, short of prostitution or drug dealing lol

Quoting The Doctor:" Are these children your children, or your step children?"

step children. it just breaks my heart that they have to live the way they are, I see them with Our son, they parent. a 6 and an 8 year old parent! they have two younger siblings with their mom. the oldest wears a watch and they go out and play and come back when their mom says they can. Both kids the past few times they were with their grandparents prayed to come live with daddy. The mom has been denying him parenting time since june and they have to go through all the court stuff...

Back story,
she had the kids 3 1/2 years ago and they were taken away because her boyfriend beat their son the now 6 year old. she had an out but stuck by her BF. He got away with it and so did she. The children lived with her mom for a year until her mom couldnt handle it anymore, then they lived with my SO's parents for over a year. this past june they were returned to her because she had " changed".

now with my so...
he almost had them once too when we first got together and he isn't a saint by any means... He is a recovering alcoholic. He relapsed while in the progress of getting them back and made a huge mistake of drinking with a minor, which lead to a court case. a case where he was up aginst a CSC. well he was never charged but the judge presiding over the kids case ruled a no contact order which kept him out of the kids life for a year and a half. But he went through a recovery program for a year he graduated from it. he has a full time job with benifits and has been sober for over 14mos. now. ...


and im not her friend... I can't stand her. its not just because shes the other "mom" its the fact that she wont do anything to better herself and on top of that brings my so down all the time with his past. in court recently she said he had only been sober for a few weeks... imo 14 mos is way more than a few weeks... also she said he wasn't supportive, they froze his CS and there was a no contact order, which is why he wasn't supportive and now she wont let him see the kids at all, if it wasnt for his parents having grandparenting time we wouldnt see them at all. its nuts... and all I can do is sit here with my mouth shut...