breast feeding and stressed

So I am trying so hard to breast feed my newborn. she is not attaching right.. we had to get her tongue cut today because she was tongue tied but it hasnt fixed the attaching problem. i know all the practical information on breast feeding (how to hold them in whichever position ect) but my nipple comes out pinched looking no matter what i do and its causing me to make less milk then is needed so we have had to top up with formula.
Every time i try to BF i end up extremely upset as if i am failing as a parent because i'm having so much trouble with something that should feel natural  
I dont even know what i am looking for on this forum. advice or encouragement would be nice. thanks for everyone who has the time to read x

Get ahold of a lactation consultant.

My son had a hard time latching too. Do you have a breast pump? You can always pump and feed him pumped milk so you don't have to supplement formula. I used breastflow bottles with a double electric pump and after about 2 weeks of using those and trying to latch a couple times a day he finally figured it out   Good luck, momma! And know that you're not a failure if you can't get her to latch. Breastfeeding can be really hard and trying is better than nothing  

Quoting 1st1ontheway:" Get ahold of a lactation consultant."

I have talked to a few. I feel like i am trying all the right things and they just arent working

I don't really have any advice but it will get better. A friend of mine has a now 5 month old little boy and he was born tongue tied. She had the hardest time getting him to latch and actually ended up going back to the hospital the day after he went home because he wasn't able to latch to feed at all. After some help with the lactation consultant at the hospital and some temporary use of a nipple shield (which she used a syringe with a tube on it to help put milk in the shield) he finally got the hang of it. Now she doesn't have to use the shield at all and he feeds like a champ. Hopefully things get better soon for you.

Quoting Reise's Mommy:" My son had a hard time latching too. Do you have a breast pump? You can always pump and feed him pumped ... [snip!] ... that you're not a failure if you can't get her to latch. Breastfeeding can be really hard and trying is better than nothing  "

I have been using a pump. but sadly i am only making like 20ML when she is needing something like 70
my plan is to express like mad to get my supply up but its so hard. i hope she ends up latching  

My baby had jaundice and wouldn't eat. You are not a failure. You are doing an amazing job don't worry. Remember to stay relaxed. The only way to really tell how much your baby is getting is to weigh her before and after the feeding. She is probably getting more than you are thinking she is. I had to top my daughter off with formula for about a month and we ended up using a nipple shield till she was like 5 months. It gets easier I promise. When she pinches the nipple is it hurting you? And are you doing the football hold or the hold with her head in your elbow? Support your own neck. Do you have a boppy or nursing pillow? I swear I love my boppy almost as much as my husband for how much it helped me.

Quoting Juliet murphy:" I have been using a pump. but sadly i am only making like 20ML when she is needing something like 70 my plan is to express like mad to get my supply up but its so hard. i hope she ends up latching  "

It is hard, but you can do it   When I was BFing my son I was working full time and going to school full time and not producing enough with no time to try to boost my supply   I kept at it for 2 and a half months, almost 3 but I had gall stones and couldn't eat properly which wasn't helping and finally I had to give up. I beat myself up for it for a long time because I felt like a failure. It was the first thing in life I had ever not been good at right away and it was hard for me to cope with. Hoping I can BF this one much longer  

But just keep pumping and expressing extra milk and your body will start making more eventually  

Quoting kate & tilly:" My baby had jaundice and wouldn't eat. You are not a failure. You are doing an amazing job don't worry. ... [snip!] ... neck. Do you have a boppy or nursing pillow? I swear I love my boppy almost as much as my husband for how much it helped me."

I dont have a nursing pillow! will have to look them up to find where i can buy one!
i have her with her head in my elbow and it doesnt hurt when she pinches my nipple. it feels more irritating then painful

Quoting Juliet murphy:" I dont have a nursing pillow! will have to look them up to find where i can buy one! i have her with ... [snip!] ... one! i have her with her head in my elbow and it doesnt hurt when she pinches my nipple. it feels more irritating then painful"

Try this video & see if it helps.




You are right that if your nipple looks pinched after a feed, the latch has some level of issue. You can try do hand compressions whiel she nurses to assist in milk transfer.

How was it determined that you needed to top up with formula? Was she not having enough diapers?

Quoting Reise's Mommy:" It is hard, but you can do it   When I was BFing my son I was working full time and going to school ... [snip!] ... BF this one much longer   But just keep pumping and expressing extra milk and your body will start making more eventually  "

You may not know this but gallbladder sisues & nursing go hand in hand & MANY Dr's are idiots to this fact & there are other ways to manage gall bladder with nursing mom. The mos tcommon condition causing gall baldder pain/stones is called Cholecystitis. This is an inflammation issue. So how does it relate to nursing? Welllllll - when you nurse (particularly in early weeks & months) your body releases a chemical in much higher than average amounts (well technically MANY chemicals, but the one we are focusing on is) CCK also known as Cholecystokinin
CCK is a peptide hormone that aids in digestion (to help baby break down all that goodness in the milk faster & easier) and induces a feeling of relaxation & sleepiness for mom & baby. Unfortuinately though - if momma is having a little trouble with ehr gallbladder - having CCK flood her body might make any issue she is having be much more sensntive to ther diet & such. The CCk is what makes you feel so drwsy every time you nurse. The older your baby gets, the more your body chills out on flooding you with it & then you feel less tired while nursing & baby starts making a lot of it's own good digestive enzymes & doesn't hneed the help anymore & likely your gall bladder issues go away (mine did).

So HOW did I find this out - searching for a better answer than my Dr telling me I had to have my gallbladder out. :/ I took all this info to MY Dr & he was shocked by what I found. Awesome. :/ Makes me wonder WTF they go to school for. So I rearranged my diet to avoid any flares & then kept nursing & my son is 2 1/2 yrs old, still nurses & I eat whatever I want with no gall issues now. I do try to eat healthy - and overall I do - but if I overodo it & eat a ton of grease, i don't pay any special price for it there days.

I am sorry that you (and me) can't rely on Dr's to actually help us get through this stuff with minimal interventions & some degree of understanding as to the what & why of how our body works. And maybe I'll still have to have my gallbaldder out someday - and if so, then fine, but I'm not signing up to do it if I can avoid it.  

(and please forgive typos - my auto correct isn't working & I am tired & miss some things when proof reading)

i had this problem...he latched great at the hospital when i had a lactation consultant to help me but when we got home it took like 2 weeks and i was so frustrated and crying because he couldnt latch right i almost gave up but my sister helped me through it...i would suggest going to see a lactation consultant in person if you can and if your hospital has it or maybe a lc will go to a bf group where moms all go to help and support each other and there is a lc there to help you get the hang of it...it helped me a lot when i had someone physically help me with it and we havent had a problem since then and he is almost 5 months old now...i hope this helps and good luck

<blockquote><b>Quoting Juliet murphy:</b>" I dont have a nursing pillow! will have to look them up to find where i can buy one! i have her with ... [snip!] ... one! i have her with her head in my elbow and it doesnt hurt when she pinches my nipple. it feels more irritating then painful"</blockquote>




Have you tried the football hold? It sucked but helped with our latch issue. I found my boppy at target. But I think you could get one from like babies r us or a store that's similar.