re: Please dont judge me (Long)

Quoting Mumz:" Why of all comments you post on mine? You do realise that I didnt make that comment, I agreed with ... [snip!] ... I agreed with it. And im not the only one...dumbass OP Im sorry you are going through this, but get on some birth control."

Wow. I know you weren't the one who posted it, but I wasn't about to back track to find the post and quote it. No need to be a bitch about it.

im not going to be the one that judges you i know it had to be hard to do what you have....but i have been in your shoes with having my ex husband beat me and i got out and i ran but i would never get rid of my kids cause a man hit me but i know personally my child aka mine and his son would never be hit by him cause i would have killed him but thank god he hasnt seen my son in a year and half and he is warren by the law .......

The most important thing, is getting yourself away from the abuse first. If you do that, you may have a different outlook about this pregnancy. It's important to live alone, and feel comfortable alone, before adding new elements to your life.

I was in an abusive relationsip, with my exhusband. Had he gotten me pregnant, I would have aborted. I had to learn to be alone first and be okay with that, before getting into another relationship of any kind. My DH now, is a wonderful man.

If you do choose abortion, please get on birth control. That way, if you have a bad day, and do slip up on using a condom, you have that extra measure. Honestly, I would be more worried about STDs and STIs than pregnancy, with unprotected sex.

This being said, I think you should get some therapy to help you deal with you feelings of constantly being alone. I went through therapy too, and it was an amazing help to me.

I really wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. I am here if you ever want to talk. I'm glad though, that you have someone here already willing to help you through this.

Awwww   I really feel for you  

I havent' been in abusive situation but I have had more than one abortion and I have had to have abortions I didn't want because my husband said he would leave me etc.

And I completely understand that need to keep having unprotected sex! This is how I had 2 abortions in 5 months.

Our sensible, responsible, conscious part of our brain knows we made the choice for whatever reasons.

But as women- feminists won't like this but it's true- we all have some primitive instinct deep down inside us- and our fundamental purpose to being a woman is to get pregnant, to have babies. Obviously society is developed beyond that, but our instincts are still there. Sex is the same instinct! Our sex drive is that primitive part in all of us that says "REPRODUCE! REPRODUCE!" and it's powerful! that's why everyone has sex! that's why we have invented contraception so that we can indulge in this powerful instinct without the repercussions we don;t need in our developed society

Anyway, after abortion, that instinct within us doesn't know that we chose abortion. All it knows is that we were pregnant, and now we are no longer pregnant. It feels a loss, and a strong desire to replace.

This is the only explanation i have for this- as straight after my abortion i was trying to have unprotected sex, and i would start crying i would burst into tears because i knew i was gonna get pregnant again and it wasnt what i wanted but i had no control over that primal urge!

I have the same thing again now, i want to be pregnant again, I only had my 2nd abortion 7 days ago   i don't trust myself to the extent that i make my husband FEED ME my birth control pill and stick my tongue out to show that i did swallow it!!!

You have to do what is right for you, but if you choose abortion then please take control over this primal thing i've been going on about by getting some reliable contraception, better NOT condoms or the pill. The coil would be a good idea, and they can fit these during the procedure as well. i only wasnt allowed one because i had a perforated uterus last year and then 2 surgical abortions in a short space of time so the consultant said it would not be wise in my case until my uterus heals.

thjere are other options that will take care of that urge to not use a condom, or "forget" to take your pill- you can have an implant or an injection with birth control hormones in it. or just take the pill but only if you have someone to feed it to you like i do, i had to swallow my pride and admit that i couldnt trust myself and for now i need that sort of dependency until i have recovered from my abortions

Please stay away from him and dont go back to him if he is abusive. get some help, talk to someone at a well-woman clinic or someplace like that, or your doctor, or someone at church if you are religious.

it;s YOUR decision, but if you want my opinion, i would get an abortion, just so you can free yourself frtom this man. if you have the baby with him you will be tied to him forever, maybe to only a very little extent, but still. and when the child is older they will want to get to know their father... which might be difficult. i think it would be easier to abort, get some reliable contraception that you don;t have to take responsibility for (coil, injection, implant), get some therapy for your abortions (even if you dont feel that you need it) and look after yourself, and one day you will meet a wonderful man and have babies with him <3

Quoting Devil's Advocate:" Hey Joye. I'm glad to hear from you again. We have talked for so long. I knew this post was coming. I ... [snip!] ... getting out of this horrible situation. I think about you all the time. I really hope you can finally be rid of him. *hugs!*"

This!

OP you can PM me if you would like. I have had 1 abortion but I know all too well the ins and out of an abusive relationship. I was in one with my oldest sons father. <3 I wish I could hug you and help you go through this.

Quoting pixie b:" Awwww   I really feel for you   I havent' been in abusive situation but I have had more than one abortion ... [snip!] ... dont feel that you need it) and look after yourself, and one day you will meet a wonderful man and have babies with him <3

Wow you actually make so much sense. I had that same desire to be pregnant after my termination in '08 and eventually conceived this year, I now have a baby. I am glad that my body didn't let itself fall pregnant (not literally how it works but you get me, lol) until I was a good deal older, even though I was having unprotected sex all that time. Tbf, I didn't actually want my termination and was in a similar situation to you. So after that and even now I still want to be pregnant, allllllllllllll the time. It's all I think about.

Quoting pixie b:" Awwww   I really feel for you   I havent' been in abusive situation but I have had more than one abortion ... [snip!] ... dont feel that you need it) and look after yourself, and one day you will meet a wonderful man and have babies with him <3"

please find a therapist to talk 2 about how to ''surpress'' your ''primal'' urges if you cannot follow though w/the outcome. I totally understand your ''urges'', which is why i have 6 children.....but i can see that the internal struggle u are going through is causing you pain  

<blockquote><b>Quoting pixie b:</b>" Awwww   I really feel for you   I havent' been in abusive situation but I have had more than one abortion ... [snip!] ... dont feel that you need it) and look after yourself, and one day you will meet a wonderful man and have babies with him <3"</blockquote>




It is called biological impermative, it why some animals will smurf themselves to death. The only reason they say humans dxont have it because humans try to practices monogyny, where as biological impermative makes the anikmal polgyny.

Quoting BrookeT:" I have nothing against abortion or people who choose it so im not saying this because im anti-abortion ... [snip!] ... with abortion you HAVE to make a choice before its too late and dont have nearly as much time to decide what you really want. "

I agree completely with BrookeT. This way you have more time to decide and even if you come to the decision that you aren't ready to parent a child, you can have an open adoption and still be a part of your babies life.

You should seek counseling IMO.

People this is abortion survivors, no room for lodgement zero tolerance. Op I wish you the best in whatever decision you make.