re: I spanked and now I feel like smurf

I spanked once out of shear frustration before our oldest was even one years old. We both ended up on the floor crying, then I was apologizing. Haven't spanked since then and she is three years old (as of yesterday). It happens sometimes and I still feel bad about it.

I learned it was better for me to walk away for a few mins then come back. I can now ignore tantrums without getting frustrated too. We decided to focus on non-physical punishments. We do a lot of exploration of feelings with our oldest now that she can communicate.

I am a spanker.. and I would have spanked her then. you say "never spank out of anger" but to me that is kinda a grey area... Q. when should you spank? A. when they do something really bad. when they do something bad, wouldn't it make you angry/disappointed? otherwise, it means what they were doing was actually acceptable, so no need to spank. to me, you would always be angry if it went far enough to make you spank, kwim?

*hugs*

Just the fact that you got so upset over the fact that you disciplined your child (like almost every mother), proves that you're a wonderful mother.

It happens. We all react on impulse from time to time, it's human nature. You're a great mother.

<blockquote><b>Quoting J+D=4:</b>" I am a spanker.. and I would have spanked her then. you say "never spank out of anger" but to me that ... [snip!] ... was actually acceptable, so no need to spank. to me, you would always be angry if it went far enough to make you spank, kwim?"</blockquote>



If you insist.on spanking you're suppose to wait until you're calm to do it.

Don't feel bad! I am sure there has been many people that reacted without thinking about it and it was only a swat.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jude the Super Kinkster:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting J+D=4:</b>" I am a spanker.. and I would have spanked her then. ... [snip!] ... to make you spank, kwim?"</blockquote> If you insist.on spanking you're suppose to wait until you're calm to do it."</blockquote>



That seems wrong to me.
The kid spits at you. 10 minutes later you're calm, kids probably forgotten what happened 10 minutes ago. Then they get a smack?
How confusing is that for the child?

Quoting Jude the Super Kinkster:" <blockquote><b>Quoting J+D=4:</b>" I am a spanker.. and I would have spanked her then. ... [snip!] ... to make you spank, kwim?"</blockquote> If you insist.on spanking you're suppose to wait until you're calm to do it."

I don't go crazy and beat my kids, but I do it in the moment because their actions should have immediate consequences. otherwise, time goes by and to them, they are just being punished for nothing.. that's how I see it anyway. OP, I don't think you did anything wrong, really. She did something unacceptable, and you swatted her. you didn't beat her, you got her attention, and talked to her about what she did and explained it.

I was spanked as a child (rarely), and figured I would spank too if needed. But I always feel so guilty on the rare occasion I do have to give DD a little swat on the bottoms at times, so I can relate. I'm pretty sure I would have reacted the same way you did if my DD spat in my face.

Quoting h*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jude the Super Kinkster:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... you're calm, kids probably forgotten what happened 10 minutes ago. Then they get a smack? How confusing is that for the child?"

that's what I was saying

<blockquote><b>Quoting h*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jude the Super Kinkster:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... you're calm, kids probably forgotten what happened 10 minutes ago. Then they get a smack? How confusing is that for the child?"</blockquote>




That's why I don't spank. I couldn't do it.unless I was mad and I have a bad temper so I just avoid it. I would do a time out (2-3 mins) then a spanking

Quoting J+D=4:" I am a spanker.. and I would have spanked her then. you say "never spank out of anger" but to me that ... [snip!] ... was actually acceptable, so no need to spank. to me, you would always be angry if it went far enough to make you spank, kwim?"

I agree with this. I think "Never spank out of malice" is a better statement. Because you are angry sometimes when they misbehave, and you can't wait until you're not and then spank them, if you're a spanker. BUT if you spank with the intention to cause hurt or pain, that's when it's wrong in my book

Quoting I'm His Amy He's My Rory:" I agree with this. I think "Never spank out of malice" is a better statement. Because you are angry ... [snip!] ... spank them, if you're a spanker. BUT if you spank with the intention to cause hurt or pain, that's when it's wrong in my book"

this...

Quoting I'm His Amy He's My Rory:" I agree with this. I think "Never spank out of malice" is a better statement. Because you are angry ... [snip!] ... spank them, if you're a spanker. BUT if you spank with the intention to cause hurt or pain, that's when it's wrong in my book"

i agree