Having a hard time feeling attached to pregnancy

So I'll just get right to the problem. I am 13 weeks pregnant. This is my second pregnancy. The first one ended in a miscarriage a little over 6 months ago. This time around I am so worried about everything I am just having a hard time feeling attached to this pregnancy. I have cramps and I worry if I'm having another miscarriage. I don't feel nauseous for part of the day so I think "Is that it, is the baby's heart not beating anymore. Is that why I don't feel sick anymore?" I think part of it is being scared of losing this one too. It's hard to explain. I'm not sure exactly how to put it into words. For one, I am plus sized so I don't have a baby bump to feel attached to. I can feel my tummy getting tighter and things changing but it just doesn't feel real. I've had ultra sounds and seen the baby and heard it's heart beat which was incredible at the time, but afterwards it still doesn't feel real. I've tried to do things that are supposed to make you feel closer to your unborn child like rubbing your tummy, talking to the baby, playing him or her music, but it still feels surreal. Does anyone have any advice for me to help me through this? I could use any advice possible.

This is my second also. I did not miscarry the first so I can't relate there, but I'm also plus size. By 13 weeks I did have a bump but I still struggled to become attached. It's common for a 2nd pregnancy, even more so if you miscarried the first. You're past the point where you should SERIOUSLYworry. Start to talk about names, it's a quick way to become attached. You realize that it's actually a person inside of you then. I had just gotten married literally less than 2 weeks before I got pregnant this time and I wasn't ready yet. It took a little while but as soon as I could see the excitement all over my hubby's face, it became a little easier to be excited about it too. I hope things start to get better for you!

I know exactly how you feel. The nausea ending is normal when you enter your second trimester, though. I have had 3 miscarriages, and I do have 3 children, and it has gone in a pattern: baby, m/c, baby, m/c, baby, m/c.....every pregnancy after a m/c I freaked out at every little twinge. With my third baby, I was having cramps, and demanded my then-husband pull over into a gas station so I could check(I actually ended up only having diarrhea, so it was a good thing we pulled over anyway). It's hard not to be scared. Just keep going to your appointments, and when you hear the heartbeat through the doppler, and in less than 2 months, you should have another ultrasound. I think the true attachment will really hit home once you can feel the baby moving. Just keep your chin up. I won't say don't worry, because that's unrealistic. Also, at your next appointment, don't be afraid to tell your doctor how you're feeling. He might just have some good words of wisdom for you.

I know how you feel..I lost my first baby from m/c and when I got prego with my daughter it seemed unreal and I was on pins and needles the whole time.it got more real for me when I could feel her move I think thats when I started getting attached to her and it was the same way with my son..I was scared to death something was going to happen and no matter what I tried i could not bring myself to bond with the baby until after I could feel them move..as hard as it is try not to worry..you have made it to 13 weeks so the change of m/c have dropped alot and try to take good care of yourself and baby..best of luck to you!

Quoting Catie Buckingham:" So I'll just get right to the problem. I am 13 weeks pregnant. This is my second pregnancy. The first ... [snip!] ... music, but it still feels surreal. Does anyone have any advice for me to help me through this? I could use any advice possible."

Your story is exactly like mines!! I miscarried a baby 2yrs ago and went into depression afterwards! When I found out this year I was expecting I was terrified and I felt as if I wasn't going to make it far in this pregnancy! Just like you I wasn't feeling attached to the baby (asssuming the worst would happen) but as began to reach milestones such as ; my 20wk mark (halfway there) I became more excited and when I reached 30wks I knew my baby had great chance of survival ! I had no energy my first trimester and when the second trimester hit I was all of a sudden energized, no longer feeling pregnant, nor looking pregnant, I even lost weight, so I bought pregnancy test when I started to have those thoughts and my dr reassured me that those feelings were normal during the 2nd trimester; which is considered the best trimester of them all but even my 3rd trimester feels great just getting in and out the bed is kinda uncomfortable but its a great feeeling!!!!!!!!!!!
Your gonna do fine your just nervous and thats perfectly normal but remind yourself that you can do all things if you find the strength to do so!!!! GOOOOOOOOOD LUCKKKKK.............. 

i didnt attch to my second until a few months ago....im sure once u hold the baby in your arms and u see him/her later on in the scans, u will start to connect a little more.

or u may never connect with the child.....doesnt make u a bad mother or any less worthy. we all do the best we can and no one can ask anything more

<blockquote><b>Quoting Catie Buckingham:</b>" So I'll just get right to the problem. I am 13 weeks pregnant. This is my second pregnancy. The first ... [snip!] ... music, but it still feels surreal. Does anyone have any advice for me to help me through this? I could use any advice possible."</blockquote>


I got pregnant 3 days after I stopped bleeding from a miscarriage and honestly I've been paranoid my whole pregnancy and has had lots of issues but baby is healthy and almost here  . All you can do is try not to stress about it and take it Easy. Good luck mammas  

Quoting Catie Buckingham:" So I'll just get right to the problem. I am 13 weeks pregnant. This is my second pregnancy. The first ... [snip!] ... music, but it still feels surreal. Does anyone have any advice for me to help me through this? I could use any advice possible."

Hiya, i felt the exact same way at the beginning of this pregnancy because i also miscarried before, twice. When i found out i was pregnant again i was obviously over the moon but i had always felt scared that it would happen again so i didnt get my hopes up about it. I also had a bloody discharge which straight away made me think i was miscarrying again so i went and had an emergency scan and everything was fine. My 12 week scan was what put me at ease because he was healthy and everything was normal, then when i had my 20 week scan everything was fine too   I think when you have your scans you will feel so much more attached and put at ease about it all. I am now 4 weeks away from giving birth and i cant wait for him to finally be here!!   good luck with your pregnancy, im sure you will feel different after you've had all of your scans   xx

I went through the same thing. It is crazy how a previous miscarriage can put so much doubt in a woman's mind. I still cant get attached to this pregnancy so I know exactly how you feel. I am not plus size, some days I have a "bloat bump" and the next day it will be gone. My OB has me that the baby measures good and has a very healthy heartbeat. As long as yours is telling you the same I guess just try not to worry too much. It is also about that time for your morning sickness to subside.. most of my symptoms totally disappeared. Don't judge the pregnancy on symptoms...everyone's are different. It is normal to be scared.