Need help wrapping my mind around this

So I am really struggling with the thought of a csection. I just wanted this to be my pregnancy where I really got to redeem myself with my labor mistakes with dd1. But now I Hve no choice but to have a csection and a preemie. This is something I never thought I would have to experience. I just feel like I don't have enough time to get this all together. I'm emotionally and physically drained. I just cry constantly while I'm bed resting during the day. Then I wake up at night (hence it's almost 4 am and I'm on here) and its all I can think about. It's all just so much and so overwhelming. If anyone has experience with this kind of stuff how can I accept it all and not be so sad, scared, and overwhelmed? I just feel like I've reached the end of my rope and I need to climb back up, I just dont have the strength yet  

Quoting lolajessup:" So I am really struggling with the thought of a csection. I just wanted this to be my pregnancy where ... [snip!] ... overwhelmed? I just feel like I've reached the end of my rope and I need to climb back up, I just dont have the strength yet  "

what happened? when are you being induced?

I am sorry you have to go through this! But just think of the end result of hold your baby in your arms. Why do you have to have a c- section if you don't mind me asking?

<blockquote><b>Quoting SammyGirl+Lovely:</b>" what happened? when are you being induced?"</blockquote>


I'm not I'm having a csection by 35 weeks.

Quoting lolajessup:" So I am really struggling with the thought of a csection. I just wanted this to be my pregnancy where ... [snip!] ... overwhelmed? I just feel like I've reached the end of my rope and I need to climb back up, I just dont have the strength yet  "

why do you ahve to have a premie and a section?

don't feel guilt. There is no redeaming yourself mama. There's nothing wrong with a section. It doesnt' make you or your doctor a faliure. I have had 2... I look at it as wonderful that I could have such a life-saving procedure. Both my babies and myself are alive. My vaginal birth didn't make me a better mom. honestly.. I was too exhausted to even stay awake between contractions. They had to keep waking me to push. I bonded with my section babies better right away.. because I wans't falling asleep

<blockquote><b>Quoting |♥| Jayme |♥|:</b>" I am sorry you have to go through this! But just think of the end result of hold your baby in your arms. Why do you have to have a c- section if you don't mind me asking?"</blockquote>

Because I have vasa previa and the baby would die if I dilate at all.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting SammyGirl+Lovely:</b>" what happened? when are you being induced?"</blockquote> I'm not I'm having a csection by 35 weeks."

ok. correction "c section"... either way that sucks. has the placenta started to detach at all?

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting |♥| Jayme |♥|:</b>" I am sorry you have to go through ... [snip!] ... section if you don't mind me asking?"</blockquote> Because I have vasa previa and the baby would die if I dilate at all."

Damn that's no good. Well then that's good you are getting a c-section and doing whats best for the baby. I hope everything goes well with it!

<blockquote><b>Quoting snglemama:</b>" why do you ahve to have a premie and a section? don't feel guilt. There is no redeaming yourself ... [snip!] ... They had to keep waking me to push. I bonded with my section babies better right away.. because I wans't falling asleep"</blockquote>

Thanks mama. It's just so hard to accept plus I'm just terrified every minute that my bodies gonna go into labor and I won't feel it and she'll die before I even get to the hospital. I've already had one bleeding scare and luckily that was my blood not hers since I wasn't dilated or anything.

But if my cervix thins in the next two weeks when I go back for an us then I have to be hospitalized right away. I'm just nervous.

<blockquote><b>Quoting SammyGirl+Lovely:</b>" ok. correction "c section"... either way that sucks. has the placenta started to detach at all?"</blockquote>

I was in the hospital on thanksgiving for bleeding but so far I havent bled since. I'm on my second week of bed rest this week. I can go back to work next week if everything stays good.

<blockquote><b>Quoting |♥| Jayme |♥|:</b>" Damn that's no good. Well then that's good you are getting a c-section and doing whats best for the baby. I hope everything goes well with it! "</blockquote>

I know its my only choice and I am grateful they found it so they are prepared for anything that might happen. It's just really hard to accept and I'm
Really struggling emotionally with it all  

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting |♥| Jayme |♥|:</b>" I am sorry you have to go through ... [snip!] ... section if you don't mind me asking?"</blockquote> Because I have vasa previa and the baby would die if I dilate at all."

I just had to google that, and I'm so sorry mama   But what's important is having a healthy baby at the end of the road, no matter how they arrived.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting |♥| Jayme |♥|:</b>" Damn that's no good. Well then ... [snip!] ... prepared for anything that might happen. It's just really hard to accept and I'm Really struggling emotionally with it all  "

i understand it's gotta be hard when it's not something you want. It is definitely a good thing that they found it! Everything will be okay mama! Remember it doesn't change you as a mommy, you are still good mommy!

<blockquote><b>Quoting ℐ+ℳ=£:</b>" I just had to google that, and I'm so sorry mama   But what's important is having a healthy baby at the end of the road, no matter how they arrived."</blockquote>


I know. But she won't be healthy   shell be preemie. And if an emergency happens she will need a blood transfusion and might not make it. It's just so scary and stressful.

<blockquote><b>Quoting |♥| Jayme |♥|:</b>" i understand it's gotta be hard when it's not something you want. It is definitely a good thing that ... [snip!] ... thing that they found it! Everything will be okay mama! Remember it doesn't change you as a mommy, you are still good mommy!"</blockquote>

Yeah I was totally blindsided by it. I knew I had previa and the chance it wouldn't resolve. But that's easier for me because it's ony my life at risk if I were to bleed uncontrollably. But that would be easily fixed. Now it's a whole new level with the vasa previa cause now not only could I bleed out, but she could too. And she has a lot less blood to lose