Forums > Pregnancy Issuesby: ash*leigh

SO's mother!

posted 3rd Dec
This is my third post today.. not usually like this but I have a lot on my mind. My SO told his mother that we are expecting when I was a little over 11 weeks along. He didn't tell her in front of me so I did not get to see her reaction. I have seen her a few times since then and she has said NOTHING to me. Not a single word. I would like to involve her in this by inviting her along with my mom and sister to the next U/S but I am a little hesitant. It is suppose to be a "happy" time for me and my SO and I don't want to feel awkward or annoyed by her in this situation. Not sure what to do in this situation. I am eventually going to start showing and I do not want to feel like the "elephant in the room" when I am around her. My SO does not understand my frustration and thinks I am just talking smurf about his mom/family. Your thoughts on the topic are welcomed and feel free to tell me if I am being overly sensitive but it is a little difficult for me to be excited about all of this.
quotesmurfs?
posted 3rd Dec
I think perhaps she needs time. My MIL didn't take it too well and she wouldn't ask me much about me nor the baby until I was actually showing. Just let her take it in.
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I have 1 child & live in Illinois
posted 3rd Dec
I can relate. So's step mom told me she was sick to her stomach over it when he told her I was pregnant. For weeks she was a miserable bitch towards me, even at my baby shower she kept saying games are stupid and there's no need for decorations. She made me feel so awkward for so long and I'm resentful of that. You're not being over sensitive, but maybe you try talking to her to break the ice? Or have SO say something
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I have 1 child & live in Massachusetts
posted 3rd Dec
Lol aww you ARE going to be the elephant in the room ;)

I don't think you're being overly sensitive. You'd think she would say something to you about it... Even a "congratulations".. Get your DH to bring it up & talk with her about it.
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I have 2 kids & live in Halifax, Nova Scotia
posted 3rd Dec
i would not invite her anywhere. Wait till she tells you congrats or makes the effort to notice you exist.
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I live in California
posted 3rd Dec
My mil didn't talk to my whole pregnancy. She saw my post on fb and said "really" and then next thing I know she walks into my hospital room and has been ape smurf over the baby , bringing me dinner or taking me out, getting wipes and diapers. Just give her time she'll warm up, having a bavy is the best, happiest time! She will realize it.
quotesmurfs?
I live in Arizona
posted 3rd Dec
He didn't tell me much about her response but he did say that she lectured him on how "this is what we get for having sex..." and so on "and that's what happens when people have sex." Well duh! She acts like we are 15 and pregnant. We are both 24 and live together and have been together for over a year and a half. We are also both independent and make our own money and support ourselves to the fullest. I will be seeing her at least four times over the next three weeks because we have a bridal shower for her soon to be daughter in law and then the rehearsal dinner and wedding and also Christmas stuff. I guess I will see how she reacts during those times or what she says. If she continues to act like its not happening I will probably choose not to invite her to the U/S. Its just crazy how she can support her 19 year old son marrying a 21 year old woman but she can't show us support.
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posted 3rd Dec
Id still include her... Cause next thing you know itll be flipped on you that the offer was never placed on the table... Dont feed into her distant or favortism should I say and act like everything is normal...
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I'm due February 17th (a girl), have 1 child & live in St Louis, Missouri
posted 3rd Dec
My bf told his mother and she wont even look me in the eye anymore, she doesn't say anything to me about the baby or even mentions it. They are upset about our age difference and that he is having a baby when he is a grandfather, his whole family loves me and i hope his parents start to get excited because i want to be able to share this experience with the whole family. I know how you feel about wanting to invite them to things but are scared of being rejected. I am 22 he is 42 if people were wondering
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I'm due May 20th & live in Canisteo, New York
posted 3rd Dec
Age doesnt matter... As long as your happy...
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I'm due February 17th (a girl), have 1 child & live in St Louis, Missouri
posted 3rd Dec
Quoting BikerMomma1113:" My bf told his mother and she wont even look me in the eye anymore, she doesn't say anything to me about ... [snip!] ... how you feel about wanting to invite them to things but are scared of being rejected. I am 22 he is 42 if people were wondering"
I am sorry to hear that. My sister is 22 and her BD is 45. We never had a problem with the age difference though.
I think I will invite her to the U/S and if she decides to come then great..if not...oh well I just wont attempt anything else. However, if she does not make my baby feel excepted she will see my claws come out.
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posted 3rd Dec
im sorry to hear that at my end its the opposite....my MIL is across seas in India and she adores the fact that her only son is having his first child that she even knows how many days are left to the exact number as well as his friends lol...but on the other hand my mother was a B sorry to put it that way...my father raised me well for being a single parent....while she took the boys....well 8 yrs later she wanted to be a part of my life so i let her....i met my husband and we became pregnant .....well turned out she didnt even acknowledge the fact this is her first grandchild to top that off my brothers no longer were apart of her life due to all the bad stuff she did so they moved closer to my father...when she found out she was kind of excited but a week later she said she was also pregnant ...i was happy for her....to share our moments together well it turned out she lied and on top of that stole 5000 dollars from my husband an i .....an i have to say i forgive her but she has not called once about her grandchild ....
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I have 1 child & live in Houston, Texas
posted 6th Dec
Hmm maybe she wants to hear it from you. Did you asked your dh how was her reaction when he told her. Tell her about your regnancy and tell her that you would love for her to come to your next ultrasound.
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I live in California
posted 6th Dec
<blockquote><b>Quoting ash*leigh:</b>" He didn't tell me much about her response but he did say that she lectured him on how "this is what we ... [snip!] ... to the U/S. Its just crazy how she can support her 19 year old son marrying a 21 year old woman but she can't show us support. "</blockquote>




If she still acts that way by then well smurf it and dont tell her smurf. You and your dh needs to stay positive and be aroud positive people. Ovbiously she wants to be a bitch about it and pass on her negativity to you guys. Congrats to you and dh!
quotesmurfs?
I live in California
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