10 things your girlfriends never told you....lol

Came across this a few minutes ago...I remember thinking "Why didn't anyone ever tell me this???" about more than one of these things!




10 things your girlfriends won’t tell you about their birth and postpartum.

1. If you have a vaginal birth, your vagina is going to feel like it was hit by an 18-wheeler that was on fire. That vagina will then swell to the size of a very large NYC bagel. THIS IS NORMAL.
2. Thankfully, your vagina will also, for the most part, return to normal. Eventually. Although you might forever pee a little when you sneeze, laugh really hard or cough.
3. When pushing the baby out, you might poop and/or vomit. On that same note, if you’re in the midst of pushing out a baby through your vagina, you probably won’t care, it will be the least of your worries! I forbid you to lose sleep over this.
4. Speaking of poop, your first bowel movement postpartum might *sting* a bit. Be sure to take stool softeners religiously before and after birth.
5. On the first day postpartum, every few hours a nurse will come in and push on your very tender abdomen to get extra fluid out and to help shrink your uterus back down to size. THIS WILL HURT VERY BADLY. You might even cry at the sight of her entering your room.
6. Afterpains. As your uterus shrinks and contracts back to normal size, you will cramp up so much you might think you’re in labor again. THIS IS NORMAL AND GOOD. And I hate to break it to you, but word on the street is that it gets worse with each pregnancy.
7. Postpartum, you will sweat like a pig. I’m talking about the first month (or three) postpartum. Growing a human makes your body retain a lot of stuff, like water. When your body gives up the baby, the water retention is sure to follow. I mean, you didn’t want to keep those sausage fingers and cankles forever, did you? It’s totally normal to wake up completely drenched in sweat. NO WORRIES.
8. Best-case scenario, it will take you at least two months to get back into your non-maternity jeans. I’m talking your “fat pants,” not your going-out cute denim. Normal-case scenario, plan on six to eight months. Also, don’t be alarmed if you never fit into them again. You’re not a failure, you’re a mom!
9. You might not immediately fall truly/madly/deeply in love with your baby. This one is rarely discussed, because the shame of it is huge. If this happens to you, IT’S OK, YOU’RE NOT A FREAK.
10. And at the end of the day, every single birth is a different and unique experience. Take what people say, (take these 10 things) with a grain of salt. Try not to worry about the “what ifs” and the “it might happens.” Seriously, you’re going to do great, no matter what people may or may not have told you!

"That vagina will then swell to the size of a very large NYC bagel. THIS IS NORMAL."     

Lmfao @ 5. That one is very true. I had 2nd degree tearing so bowel movement's didn't bother me to much. Peeing felt like a chore for 2 weeks i had to stand up to pee and focus hard it suckedddd.

The thing nobody told me is when you feed from one bob..milk shoots out the other. So beware.

My first PP poop felt like the aforementioned 18 wheeler coming out of my butt. Lol

I looked at my mom a few hours after Hayden was born and said " Why the hell doesn't anyone warn you it's gonna feel like an 18 wheeler crashed into my vag?" hahahahahaha

lol. Things no one told me.

That your lady bits can fall out. That one was a surprise, lol.

That your boobs hurt so freaking much when the milk is regulating. OUCH

I wish someone told me,before i could get my epidural i would have to wait for the iv fluid. I wanted to squeeze the bag so it would empty faster.  

Kiiiind of wishing I hadn't read this now O_O Lol

Quoting she nan igans:" lol. Things no one told me. That your lady bits can fall out. That one was a surprise, lol. That your boobs hurt so freaking much when the milk is regulating. OUCH"

...what? Like a prolapsed uterus or.....

Quoting she nan igans:" lol. Things no one told me. That your lady bits can fall out. That one was a surprise, lol. That your boobs hurt so freaking much when the milk is regulating. OUCH"

????????
whaaaaat?!

<blockquote><b>Quoting GrumpsMama.:</b>" The thing nobody told me is when you feed from one bob..milk shoots out the other. So beware. "</blockquote>




Mine still do this...and I'm 12 1/2 months pp...o_0

Number 7 got me bad! I'm 3 months pp (tomorrow) and I just now stopped sweating at night. Thank god, that was so nasty.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Commander Shepard:</b>" My first PP poop felt like the aforementioned 18 wheeler coming out of my butt. Lol"</blockquote>




Lmaooo  

Quoting GrumpsMama.:" ???????? whaaaaat?!"

Yea! I was wondering the same thing!!??

Which lady bits of yours fell out?