Quoting she nan igans:" I think there is a point where people shift from being a "victim" to a "survivor." That sounds bad, but ... [snip!] ... You don't want to try and compare them because they can't be compared, and she needs to stop trying to say either was worse."
Couldn't agree more.
I was in victim mode for a long time, but I didn't like feeling that way. I don't like feeling like someone has power over me and that's exactly what I felt like in victim mode. I'm not over it by any means, I just live with it. I'm not quite sure it's an experience anyone can just 'get over'.
I don't know lol...I'm trying to sympathize with her and see it from her point of view but it's hard. There was emotional abuse that went on with my ex, but it was more of a 50/50 mix (if I had to assign a number) of emotional/physical. A lot of the things she said her ex did, I vividly recall my ex doing (The seclusion, cutting off from friends/family, smurfing with her head and making her think that if she just did things differently then the situation would be different, controlling where she went, how she got there, and who she saw when she made it, etc). But I also don't know to what degree it went because there's definitely a lot of different ways abusers do it.
I'm thinking it would be good for her to go to a group therapy meeting or something, or just a support group, so she can learn how to interact with other survivors and possibly even pick up some tips.