rude SO

last night my SO and i were talking i want to get married someday and he has decided that he is almost surer he doesnt want to ever get married it really hurt because in feb he got me a ring and proposed ( guess it was a lie) and later said he just wants to b bf and gf again well im 18 weeks prego with his kid and i still want to get married he still doesnt i dont mean right this minute either just eventually so i told him for personal reasons that i dont want the baby to have his last name and he then told me if it doesnt that i should prepair to raise the baby alone.....i told him if he decides that he does eventually want to get married then the baby can have his last name once we get married idk what to do or think its all so overwhelming and really hurts me

yeah same spot. we were engaged b4 i got pregnant so naturally i gave our baby his last name. he is a good dad and works hard but now he doesnt want to get married and i get to have a different last name than my baby. it sucks.

Holy run on sentence. I think it's selfish of you not to give the baby his last name just because he doesn't want to marry you.

If you want the baby to have your last name then give them your last name. If he's threatening to leave over it then let him. He might leave anyway and then you'd really want the baby to have your last name. I'm a bit confused are you engaged with a ring but not at the same time?

It sounds like he's not ready to get married yet and that's understandable. You're young so I'm assuming he's young also. Its a lot to handle. Marriage and babies..its a lot. He may be confused or scared.

His little comment about you raising the baby along was beyond rude though. It was a bitch move.

If he would walk away from his child just because they didnt have the same last name is that really someone you want to be married to?

If you aren't married then I don't see why LO would have to have his name. That's a bit dramatic of a reaction to you telling him that as long as you are not using it as a threat or for revenge

If he's really going to be that juvenile, let him go! He needs to figure his smurf out. I would never give my child any last name but MINE unless I'm married. It can really bite you in the butt later on.

Quoting BαƚMαɳ:" Holy run on sentence. I think it's selfish of you not to give the baby his last name just because he doesn't want to marry you."

Selfish?  
What if they break up and he's a dead beat dad? I think its perfectly acceptable if he is refusing marriage to give your child your last name. You KNOW you'll be in there life for sure.

Quoting Jennybananna:" If he would walk away from his child just because they didnt have the same last name is that really someone you want to be married to? "

This!

Quoting kate & tilly:" If you want the baby to have your last name then give them your last name. If he's threatening to leave ... [snip!] ... you'd really want the baby to have your last name. I'm a bit confused are you engaged with a ring but not at the same time?"

i have an 800 dollar ring. paid 400 bc it was on sale and the woman used her discount bc i helped her at college and she hooked us up lol. doesnt mean jack though. i blew up on him the other night bc he said he didnt want to marry me bc we argued too much so we havent been and now he is too stressed. im tired of excuses. i dont even want to get married for a while i just want to know it will happen some day. he said ok thats fine we can be engaged again. im like yeah no not if i bullied you into it. hes like you didnt we just dont have the money to get married right now. im like you get to propose again and he told me i already did once. he just doesnt understand.

Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:" Selfish?   What if they break up and he's a dead beat dad? I think its perfectly acceptable if he is refusing marriage to give your child your last name. You KNOW you'll be in there life for sure."

Yup. I understand the reasoning if he was a deadbeat dad or whatever, but deciding that just because he doesn't want to get married? I think that's selfish. People say stupid smurf when they are mad, I am sure he was angry about the baby not having his last name so he lashed out.

If he doesn't want to marry you definitely give the baby your last name and save yourself a BIG headache later. Having different last names can be hard for school and also for the child to feel like he belongs later on If you do marry someone else. You can always easily change the babies name after you are married if he changes his mind  

Quoting Sophie's dairy cow:" i have an 800 dollar ring. paid 400 bc it was on sale and the woman used her discount bc i helped her ... [snip!] ... money to get married right now. im like you get to propose again and he told me i already did once. he just doesnt understand. "

At least you got a ring and proposal. I got a guess we're getting married now.

If I wasn't married, the child would have my last name. BUT, that shouldn't be used as a way to force him to change his mind either. No point in getting married because he wants the baby to have his last name, then getting divorced after.