Traumatic birth.. option B?

I had the most fantastic pregnancy EVER. Everything was just breezy and I felt fantastic pretty much all of the time. Then came birth.. My water broke and I had to be induced since my contractions would come on naturally (they weren't strong enough). Eventually the meds made them pretty intense, but still bearable. Thought to myself, this isn't so bad. But about 10hours from when my waters broke, came the pushing phase. This was HORRIBLE. I had no pain meds and wanted to go as natural as possible - which I really regretted!! My body never had a natural urge to push - I had to push on demand. I remember asking my hubby to bring me a chainsaw and cut off my lower body, since it would be less painful. (the pushing, not the contractions so much). I thought I was going to die. (actually at that stage I would rather die than going through such an inhumanly painful experience!). My baby was in a perfect position, came out perfectly and healthy. Also I didn't even have any tears, but was still in so much pain that I just told my hubby to take her! I never experienced any of the euphoria or "bonding hormones" I was so looking forward to experience!   My LO is now 4 months old already and I am even still scared of having sex with my husband as I keep getting traumatic flash backs from birth - almost just want to keep my legs FIRMLY closed! We would love to have a 2nd child, but now I read about all the complications of epidural and wonder if the experience would really be that much better with an epi.. I am so traumatized that I would almost just draw the line at one child - although I think that it's good for your child to have a sibling and not be alone. Please help with any advice to make a 2nd birth bearable and not something I should be terrified of.. Im not sure if it was the induction that caused so much pain - Ive heard that 11 hours of labour is quite quick for a first birth too..

I had a very traumatic first birth experience, mine was different than yours, but to sum it up I walked away with 163 stitches. I was horrified at the thought of having another child. My desire outweighed my fear though, and we got pregnant again. I educated myself a lot on things, make some different choices concerning my delivery, and had an amazing second experience. I've even told some people that it literally felt like a healing experience after it was all over with.

Your LO is still young, I don't think I had felt comfortable with the idea of going through that again until mine was around 12 months. *hugs*

I'm sorry you had such a traumatic experience. I'm not sure what advice I can give you, just know every pregnancy is different meaning every labor and delivery will be different.

<blockquote><b>Quoting the grace life:</b>" I had a very traumatic first birth experience, mine was different than yours, but to sum it up I walked ... [snip!] ... young, I don't think I had felt comfortable with the idea of going through that again until mine was around 12 months. *hugs* "</blockquote>

163?! Oh my, I've never hear of that many 

Quoting the grace life:" I had a very traumatic first birth experience, mine was different than yours, but to sum it up I walked ... [snip!] ... young, I don't think I had felt comfortable with the idea of going through that again until mine was around 12 months. *hugs* "

Shame! Wow! That really does sound horrible   May I ask what kind of different choices you made in order to better the experience? I tried breathing techniques, aroma oils and music during delivery. Didnt help any!

I was induced with my son, had a 25 hour labor, 3 hours of pushing, felt the ENTIRE ending experience, my uterus collapsed, I hemorrhaged horribly & they had to call code over the intercom.

I'm due on Friday & I'm a little worried something like that'll happen again..... BUT, to have more babies, it was just a risk I was willing to take. Every pregnancy is so different, every labor is so different. So even though I will probably have to be induced again this time, things might go 100% smooth.

I was petrified of getting an epidural but my midwife told me I had to. Between crawling the walls in pain and epic contractions I was asking the anaesthetist the risks and he told me that the chance of complications with an epidural are minimal as long as you listen to the professionals when you have it put in (tell them when you contract so you don't move). I was petrified but had it done and will definitely have it again - especially as they were thinking of an emergency c-section which, if they did it, would have been easier and quicker with it already in.

Wow Landon's mommy, you are SO brave! Respect!! And I truly wish you all the best for friday that all will go well!!!

Quoting Minxi Mommy:" Shame! Wow! That really does sound horrible   May I ask what kind of different choices you made in order ... [snip!] ... you made in order to better the experience? I tried breathing techniques, aroma oils and music during delivery. Didnt help any!"

I labored at home. With my first I was stuck in a hospital doing things there way. I finally opted for the epidural, after HOURS of laboring stuck in a bed, and then I could not feel to push. My body just didn't "work". It took 4 people and a vacuum to get her out.

With my son, I stayed home. I used movement to get me through & I headed to the hospital only when I couldn't do it anymore. I continued to use movement to help me. As soon as we arrived I felt the need to push, and they immediately rushed me into the birthing room. My water broke, I pushed for a few minutes and there he was!

Like the other poster said, every single labor/pregnancy will be different. And things will work best for you that perhaps didn't work for me. But I promise there's a chance it won't be as terrible the second time around. I understand your fear.

Quoting Minxi Mommy:" Wow Landon's mommy, you are SO brave! Respect!! And I truly wish you all the best for friday that all will go well!!!"

Lol well thank you.
DEF. isn't your average "Ideal birth" especially when you're a scared little 18 year old!!!! But I knew I have always wanted more babies so I was like "no way, we're going to continue our family, regardless of what happened". My family members are a bit on edge with my labor approaching but I just keep holding faith that things will go a lot better this time!

Quoting MrsWilliams154:" I was petrified of getting an epidural but my midwife told me I had to. Between crawling the walls in ... [snip!] ... as they were thinking of an emergency c-section which, if they did it, would have been easier and quicker with it already in."

Very inspiring.. I am def considering an epidural next time round!! Im not sure if I am as brave as the other mommies.. not again   Also I live in South Africa - we have the highest c-section rate in the world. Most of the doctors here are pro c section, since it means more money for them and also a convenient time schedule. I really don't want to have a c-section, though. But an epi sounds really appealing. Just one question: are you numb for the pushing part too?? Or only for the contractions? Because I was okay with my contractions.. it was the pushing that hurt like hell!

I had a bad first experience also. I was 1cm dilated when my water broke i went to the hospital like 8 in the morning. Getting induced sucked i tried to stay natural but ended up getting the epidural around like 5-6pm and it did help coulndt feel a thing until like the last hour. which they ended up giving me a little more pain medication by then and Im thankful that they did because i ripped really bad and they had a hard time stopping me from bleeding. The baby was fine thankfully he weighed 9ibs 1oz and was 21in long. But even with not feeling anything for the last while I dont want to have another baby for a few years cause im scared because how bad i ripped. Even the day after i gave birth i was really lightheaded every time i got up because of how much blood i lost.

Quoting Minxi Mommy:" Very inspiring.. I am def considering an epidural next time round!! Im not sure if I am as brave as the ... [snip!] ... part too?? Or only for the contractions? Because I was okay with my contractions.. it was the pushing that hurt like hell!"

You are numb for the pushing part depending upon when you got the epidural. Like a dumbass, I had asked them to up the medication before I pushed. Needless to say they had to turn it off so by the time 3 hrs passed & he came out, I felt it ALL. But just know you should NOT do that lol

I'm also terrified of a c-section.

Quoting Minxi Mommy:" Very inspiring.. I am def considering an epidural next time round!! Im not sure if I am as brave as the ... [snip!] ... part too?? Or only for the contractions? Because I was okay with my contractions.. it was the pushing that hurt like hell!"

Most can feel to push. I could feel the contractions but not the pushing. It was strange.

I had a traumatic birth experience with my first. I labored for 24+ hours, pushed for 6, had an epi, whisked to OR for an emerg section after DD's heart rate kept dropping & i developed a fever/too weak to push. Thankfully they pulled her out with the help of an episiotomy & forceps. Obviously I was wrecked down below which forced me to use the spray bottle for over a month. I was terrified to pee without it. And sex? I didn't have sex for 6 months after. And forget about having more babies!!!
Actually, I'm really not sure what made me change my mind about having more kids... I met DH 18 months after the birth of DD. I wanted to have at least one more baby and am pretty excited but I've also been having anxiety attacks about DD2's birth... I told OB I'm NOT going thru what I went thru last time and if it came down to it, I'm not opposed to a csection. Vaginal & sections both scare me equally but I'm hoping DD1 "paved the way" for more babies and this LO's birth will be easier