re: Traumatic birth.. option B?

My daughter was great, perfect pregnancy and great birthing experience. My son on the other hand was totally different. I was sick, tired and in pain toward the end. I was in so much pain I couldn't stand up to walk. I ended up peeing on myself trying to make it to the bathroom. I was induced at 39 weeks because I begged my doctor to do it. Everything was fine until my son's heart rate was going down and my body stopped progressing at 8cm so I had to have a c-section. I didn't know what to expect except what I saw on t.v. I was freezing, nervous, shaky and just wanted to go to sleep and wake up at home with my new baby and happy. But I was listening to the doctor and feeling her moving around inside me and then a cry from my lil man and I was crying. I think I mostly cried because of all my hormones because I was crying before because I was scared. I saw him and I just wanted to hold him right away but they took him and my hubby to the nursery where my daughter got to hold him first. I just wanted my baby and no one else but I had to recover. I finally told the nurse I WANT TO SEE MY SON!!! Next thing I know hubby comes in with my baby and I didn't want to let him go so they wheeled us to the regular room where I would stay for 2 more days. It was terrifying because I never had surgery before and I couldn't see what was happening to my body. Good luck if you do decide to have another.

I can't say I've had a traumatic birth but they were both very painful for sure. Do you just have a low pain tolerance? I mean honestly, I personally loved my natural birth so much more than my epidural birth even though it was so much more painful, because I was so connected to the experience. But if the pain really caused you to not enjoy your birth then I think an epi would be a good option for you.
And why did they start pit so soon after your water broke? A ten hOur labor is SO SO fast for a first baby, I bet if they had given you a chance to progress on your own you would have been fine. Pitocin causes much stronger painful contractions and water breaking does not mean baby has to be out immediately. Next time if I were you I would try to be a little bit more educated about how your body works during labor and to avoid the pit.

Quoting MommaSav2:" I can't say I've had a traumatic birth but they were both very painful for sure. Do you just have a low ... [snip!] ... time if I were you I would try to be a little bit more educated about how your body works during labor and to avoid the pit."

I didn't want to be induced, but they gave me no choice. Next time I will wait for sure! Im pretty sure it was because of the induction, since my body wasn't ready for pushing at all. Never had any kind of urge.
Generally I would really not consider myself as having a low pain tolerance - Ive done things before like pierce a belly ring myself without numbing it (back in crazy highschool days), but I would say that I handle pain just fine - which is why I opted for natural birth in the first place. But that couldnt possibly be catogorized as pain.. just some form of inhumanity  
I genuinely also believe that if I had not gotten induction and just left my body to do what it was supposed to, I would have been fine. But here in South Africa the doctors really like their convenience.. It was getting quite late and Im guessing my gynie "just wanted to get it over with" as opposed to be called up during early morning hours.

My First labour was 17 hours. And because I was only 19, there was no way I wanted to feel any of that pain. I had every drug possible. Panadol (which did nothing lol) then the gas, followed by a pethidine shot then lastly an epidural. The epi was heaven. Took all the pain away instantly. Think the only bad thing about it was having to hold still while they were doing it in the middle of having contractions.
My second pregnancy was 12 hours and all natural. I wanted to have an epidural, but as the midwife walked out the door to call the doc, I screamed that I needed to push, and so it was too late. I was fine with the pain of the contractions and the initial pushing part, but when it got to that burning stage, I was screaming bloody murder. No-one tells you it burns like a ring of fire.
So this time round I'm thinking about having an epidural again, unless I'm told of some other techniques that will help me through that pushing stage.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Minxi Mommy:</b>" I had the most fantastic pregnancy EVER. Everything was just breezy and I felt fantastic pretty much ... [snip!] ... if it was the induction that caused so much pain - Ive heard that 11 hours of labour is quite quick for a first birth too.."</blockquote>




Have you thought about some PTSD counseling? If they are legit flashbacks that you cant snap out of, you may want to look into it as PTSD is a type of dementia and does better with treatment.

I had a traumatic labor as well with my second. Not sure about issues with sex.. we jut didnt ever have it lol.

However I can relate for sure. A lot of the time when you do not feel the urge to push its because you arent ready. I hate that doctors scream in womens faces to pish. The urge DOES come, just not immediately at 10 cm for some people. Though I as being yelled at NOT to push and it was just as annoying.

Thanks so much for all the responses. Its really reassuring to know that Im not the only one. Most women I talk to almost make me feel crazy for feeling this way. I was considering some form of counselling therapy to get me through the fear and flashbacks, but I'm thinking to wait a bit and see if they subside since Ive heard that 4 months is still early days. Its just really good to talk to people whose been through the same. I have A LOT of friends and family with babies - I think there is only one who had a vaginal delivery with an epidural. All others had c-section (convenience factor, not because of health risks). Its the trend of South Africa, unfortunately.