Quoting Smokey_Taboo:" i dont know then i have a very different view but i do only have a 3 year old and very much still ... [snip!] ... room nor do I want to I will start to clean her room and I will be a happy camper if she will just put away her books for me. "
That is why we started early. He makes the mess, he knows where his toys belong when they are done - we put stuff away when we are done with them. I don't see that as a chore, that's just what you are supposed to do. My son is 3, he does this. Sometimes I have to ask a couple of times, but most of the time, I do not because we teach from an early age that you pick up after yourself.....I don't see how that is not allowing them to be children. He plays, colors, does everything else other 3 year old boys do - but he also knows what is done in our house and what is expected out of EVERYONE, he understand perfectly.