posted 18th Feb
For the ladies with relationship issues right now: I can't recommend counseling enough. Hubby and I were on the verge of divorce, I was so tired of feeling like a room mate. It totally changed our lives... and if he refuses to try to fix things, then I think that's saying something... my Hubby was totally on board else I'd have just left him. Life is too short to stay in an unhappy relationship in which the other person doesn't even want to attempt to change it...
quoteposted 18th Feb
Last night DH and I were arguing before he left and I asked him if he realized that we havent had sex in 2 weeks. He replied by saying that once it gets to a certain amount of time. He doesnt miss sex. I was like " Good, than you will do just fine with none for a LONG time then." I brought up how he has been acting distant and how there are red flags popping up and it looks like he's cheating. He said " If I didnt love you, Id just go smurf some dumb bitch." He apologized right after and said thats not what he meant. He has been texting me all morning since he is at work, but I wont respond.
I am still so upset, in tears about this. Feel free to ignore my random crazy person ramblings..
quotesmurfs?posted 18th Feb
Ok....I need to get some stuff off my mind. Please, don't judge me for this.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to leave Chris. I love him - I'm not IN love with him anymore though. I was. I definitely was. But I've never been loved in return. I've been his friend, his sexual partner...not once, ever, has the man told me he loves me. There have been times that I tried to convince myself it didn't matter, that I knew by his actions that he did....but lets face it, his actions are no different than they were when we were drinking buddies, except the lack of alcohol over the last few months. I need more than this. I need more. We sleep in the same bed every night. We don't spend time together awake, really, minus the few minutes before dozing off at night...and some nights there isn't even that. I honestly feel like I could go spend a week at a friend's house, and he wouldn't notice outside of the fact that his laundry and dishes didn't magically get washed anymore.
The only reason things aren't already over, is the baby. I feel like, because of it, I'm stuck. The pregnancy couldn't of been less planned, I'd JUST made peace with the fact that I "couldn't" get pregnant again. I'd gotten to the point I was ok with it. I have so many other things going on in my life, and with my other kids, that it just...it worked for us. I'm finding myself already starting to resent the baby....at first, I was just very ambivalent about it, I felt no bond, felt no connection....I kept thinking as I passed the next milestone it would be different, that I'd fall in love with it like I did my other kids. Now, I'm just finding myself sadder every day about the pregnancy, and feeling more and more stuck in a relationship that I don't want to be in...I know, logically, it's our fault for not using protection, but - we didn't think we had to anymore. And it makes me blame the baby. I hate myself for it, the baby didn't ask to be concieved, it didn't ask for us to be it's parents. And I can't help but think maybe we shouldn't be. I considered adoption before due to the ambivalence I felt towards the baby, but as the ambivalence deepened to resentment...I don't know if I can do this, and I'm scared. I know Chris won't go for the idea of adoption though, and from what I've read we both have to sign for it. I don't know what to do. Everything's a mess...I really hoped these were passing feelings, but...this far into things, I just don't know that they are.
quoteposted 18th Feb
<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥Christen♥MFH:</b>" I'm sorry you feel so unappreciated! I know that feeling, my husband and I go through spurts like ... [snip!] ... excites me) but I just don't feel like this baby is a girl. Am I crazy??? Guess I'll see at my 20 weeks appt next Wednesday."</blockquote>
I have 3 Daughters... and I paid to do a 3D ultrasound at 15 weeks... and it says Boy and I still dont believe it... just cause all 3 of my girls all felt so differently that before I found out the sex of my 2nd and 3rd daughters I was sure that they were boys cause I felt soo different and craved completely different things.. but sure enough they were girls and even though Baby # 4 Definitely has a Penis.... Im still In shock amd disbelief lol
quoteposted 18th Feb
Im soo Sorry to all the Mommys to be going through these Relationship hardships Im No Relationsgip GooRoo... But I figured Id give my 2cents for what its worth. Ive Been with my Husband for almost 9 years and happily married almost 8... we have 3 daughters together and another lil bundle of (surprise) Joy on the way. I just wanted to try to help if i can...though I dont know how helpful I could be ...but here goes My best advice I can give is to talk all the time. My marriage works because we have stayed eachothers best friends from day 1. its not always easy. we fight. get mad. say mean things cause were upset. but even if I have to apologize when I know Im right... he still believes hes right so instead of arguing and causing a bigger problem I try to defuse the situation with a calm conversation or even a surprise BJ mid scrwaming... like oh just shut up... My husband always says I only fight with him to have make up sex lol obviously not true... but If Im not happy... I try to tell him. If he hurts my feelings I tell him (usually in teats) If Im horny... I tell him... and in turn if hes upset with me or wants something He tells me. Its a constant work in progress. My husband and I were the happiest couple ever before our kids were born... and even though we love our children endlessly... keeping our love alive is very hard when he works all day and im exausted for taking care of the kids and the house... but at the end of the day I always try to remind him how much I love and appriciate him and his hard work (mostly cause I know it means a lot to him) and Believe me I would like to hear Thank You more often or how pretty I am... but sometimes instead of bringinging the thing I want up... I think about what he wants... and Ive learned the nicer I am to him ....The Nicer he Is To Me!
Good Luck Ladies! I wish u all nothing but Happiness and Love and If hes not the one... No one can convince you he is... But If you Fell head over heels for him once dont give up on real love its a needle in n a hay stack and just maybe with a nice long heart felt talk something you though was lost forever can be found again <3
quoteposted 19th Feb
Im sorry so many of you are going through relationship problems I wish I could give all you guys a hug...
On a happy note though, we found out yesterday we're having a boy I'm so excited.
quoteposted 19th Feb
<blockquote><b>Quoting mal[]function♥20:</b>" Im sorry so many of you are going through relationship problems I wish I could give all you guys a hug... On a happy note though, we found out yesterday we're having a boy I'm so excited."</blockquote>
I say YAY For Boys Toooo!!!!! Congratulations!!!!
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