what would you do?

Hi all, i'd like opinions on my situation,its a long story but im gonna sum it up as much as possible. Me and bd were ttc and got pregnant right away, im 35 weeks, while we still living together i became friends with a girl on fb because we had mutual friends so i accepted the request, we talked everyday ( sometimes very private things) she is married with 3 kids. She used to post comments on our family pics saying what a beautiful family we have. (Me n bd have a 3 yr old daughter also) anyways i was very sick and having heart problems in the first trimester and could no longer work so we were forced to kove back into my mothers because his income wasnt enough to pay rent and bills. When i was 10 weeks pregnant he argued with me oger something stupid (food) and packed his smurf and left me..few weeks later come to find out he is with and living with this girl who was supposed to.be my friend she left her husband for him!! Im still bothered by this and now that our daughter will be born im worried about it all because he doesnt see our 3 yr old, randomnly texts and asks about her and he has helped me financially the past 2 months only but everytime i try to talk about the baby he ignores me and acts like this baby isnt going to exist, maybe its just my hormones or i dont know but its a sucky feeling because i wanted my family together and i just dont.know what i should do if i should just not talk to him anymore ,,im just still hurt more for my kids because he is living over there and helping her take care of her kids and my daughter is always asking about her father . Sorry its long i just needed to vent and any opinions are welcome

As much as you hate it you have to let him see the kids. Its important for them to at least know they still have a dad & if hes trying to see them that means he still cares & you shouldnt get in the way of that for there sake.

I cant tell you what to do but i can say what I did.
I tried allowing my older children to have that father bond and it did not work. My trying to keep their relationship in tact, hurt my kids more than did good. My children was sad because they felt rejected and a burden to him. They felt not equally loved like the children who live with him. And the holidays was the worst. It got to the point, I just severed all contact unless my children request it. That worked best. My kids know the option is there, on their terms, when they are ready. They don't want it any other way and they will tell you that.
I hope you find your answer. Best wishes. 

<blockquote><b>Quoting VERONICA. MOM OF 6:</b>" I cant tell you what to do but i can say what I did. I tried allowing my older children to have that ... [snip!] ... they are ready. They don't want it any other way and they will tell you that. I hope you find your answer. Best wishes. "</blockquote>




Thats what i think i will do, just stop trying to contact him i will give him the opportunity to be there for the csection to see his daughter be born but after that i will just quit bothering him to be a dad because its painful for my daughter and myself because she does want to see him and asks for him all the time but he never wants to . Thanks ladies for the input, i know time heals  

My mom gave up on trying to get her ex husband to be there for me and be a father. She remarried when I was 3 and I remember my now father trying 20x more then my biological father. My bio dad hurt me emotionally by not caring, and even though I was young, I still knew he didnèt care. When I was 12 I wanted to try to get to know him better and my mom helped set it up for me. She didn't think it was a good idea because she knew he wouldn't care but she knew /i wanted to. That was a mistake on my part. He really truly didn't care. He faked interest for my part and left me empty promises he never intended to keep. It took years for me to get over it but I grew from it. I know I didn't give advice but I gave a story of my experience. It's not an easy situation but I hope you figure things out for the better  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Shelby Chappell:</b>" My mom gave up on trying to get her ex husband to be there for me and be a father. She remarried when ... [snip!] ... give advice but I gave a story of my experience. It's not an easy situation but I hope you figure things out for the better  "</blockquote>




Thank you for your input for sharing your experience, i just want to make the right decision without my kids being hurt.