need advice for my male friend who wants to be there for his

well my friend really wants to be there for his daughter but unfortunately cant, he tried to get visitation in court but was denied because of his record, hes made mistakes who hasnt, please dont judge him hes such a sweetheart and this is killing him. well his BM had an order of protection placed and shes been contacting him on facebook and calling him constantly he hasnt replied of course. and at court they decided he didn't have to pay child support but he gives her family money every week to buy stuff for his daughter. any advice that can help him... i hate seeing him go through this i couldnt imagine what it would feel like having my daughter taken from me.

The only thing I can say is here in tax if someone puts a protective order against another person they can't contact them either. Example my best friend put an order against her sons father, for good reason, but the court told her that she was to ignore any contact from him, report if he was trying to come around, but she also couldn't try to call or contact him because that would show she obviously isn't scared and doesn't need the order, she was told the court would drop it.

She never did its just what she was told she had no problem staying as far away as possible.

They won give him ANY visitation? Even superised? Tell him to keep trying. That's all he can do. Make the judge sick of seeing him haha.

He also needs to show proof he gives $$

Quoting Baby Ballow Mommy:" The only thing I can say is here in tax if someone puts a protective order against another person they ... [snip!] ... told the court would drop it. She never did its just what she was told she had no problem staying as far away as possible."

okay i will let him know about that, i was pretty sure thats how it goes but he doesnt want to get her in trouble either, hes really tooo sweet. and i will also let him know about having proof about money.

If she has a no contact order against, and she's contacting him....he needs to show proof that she's doing it. Also, if he gives her money he should have record of it....check book, money order/cashiers check receipt. Something.
And have him keep pushing.

Quoting lolajessup:" They won give him ANY visitation? Even superised? Tell him to keep trying. That's all he can do. Make the judge sick of seeing him haha."

i know i thought it was messed up too like in NY i've seen child molesters have visitation with their kids... and i will tell him that too.

Have him keep trying, show the courts proof that she is contacting him without him responding, and have him write checks when he gives them money so that he has proof he's giving them money for the baby.

tell him to start righting checks to them or something so that he has proof, copy all the checks and whatnot, he needs proof he is giving them money, tell him to keep trying and to save all the faceboo stuff from her, he should then print it out and go to the court to show them she has been trying to contact him. My DH will go through this same thing with his DD in a few years when we get on our feet nice and good and can fight for visitation or even shared cutody or something.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Gemmas mommy!:</b>" okay i will let him know about that, i was pretty sure thats how it goes but he doesnt want to get her ... [snip!] ... doesnt want to get her in trouble either, hes really tooo sweet. and i will also let him know about having proof about money. "</blockquote>



Well if I was him and I really wanted to be there and there was no reason I shouldn't be in my child's life I wouldn't give a damn about her getting in trouble. She obviously doesn't care about him if she had an order placed against him. Women get away w way too much smurf in court it pisses me off.

I'm a woman by the way I've just seen first hand mothers get the children over the father even though they would be better off w the father. Not saying that's the case but judges mostly go for the mom

He pretty much needs to get a Lawyer. He might be a really sweet person, but if he isn't getting visitation, even supervised, then he did something pretty bad.

He needs to get a Lawyer, provide proof when he gives money, for example, start giving it in a money order. He also needs to save the Facebook messages, because PPO's go both ways. If she breaks it herself, she could be up for the same repercussions as he would be, because she's basically saying she's not scared of him and she wasted the Courts time.

i think he should just go away, to not be able to see her at all means chances are he did more than hes telling you. being a sweet person and being someone who is fit to take care of a child are different things.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Crystal Marie S.:</b>" He pretty much needs to get a Lawyer. He might be a really sweet person, but if he isn't getting visitation, ... [snip!] ... the same repercussions as he would be, because she's basically saying she's not scared of him and she wasted the Courts time."</blockquote>




This. It takes ALOT of serious things to make a parent lose all visitation and not just accusations either, there has to be proof. my ex only lost visitation after he had 3 dv convictions against me, a felony robbery conviction, felony assault (again agsinst me) and a felony meth possession charge. The judge was still willing to give him supervised up until the meth conviction. I don't think you know the whole story OP.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Spencer Pratt:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Crystal Marie S.:</b>" He pretty much needs to get a Lawyer. ... [snip!] ... The judge was still willing to give him supervised up until the meth conviction. I don't think you know the whole story OP."</blockquote>




This is true, I hadn't thought of it. I know some pretty smurffy parents who still have lots of visitation in spite of pretty serious criminal records. He must have done some seriously bad stuff to lose any chance at visitation. He should have thought about his daughter before getTing into whatever trouble he got into.

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Spencer Pratt:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Crystal ... [snip!] ... to lose any chance at visitation. He should have thought about his daughter before getTing into whatever trouble he got into."</blockquote>