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Quoting ℐ+ℳ=£:" i have all his passwords and stuff but I know that he's deleted stuff off there before I could see it ... [snip!] ... because honestly, I haven't felt this way in months   We were doing so well, until that one little lie smurfed everything up."

I'm sorry. I really do feel bad for you. I know exactly how it feels. It's the worst feeling ever.  

Sometimes I still think about stuff he did and it makes me mad/depressed, and I'm mean to him and it's really not fair for me to forgive him and then act that way, kwim?

It probably does have a lot to do with the pregnancy hormones, though. I went crazy too.

Quoting ℐ+ℳ=£:" That is really good advice. I definitely need to sit down with him when I'm not overtired (or TOO ... [snip!] ... out of pocket and it's not something we can really afford at the moment. But if it'll fix our relationship then it's worth it."

What you can do is get a book called "The Love Dare" It gives you a dare a day to do with your spouse. There is a movie you can buy to go with it called Fire proof. I would really reccomend it!

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Quoting ℐ+ℳ=£:" Thank you so much   I'll definately look that up.  "

No problem.
My husband had a porn addiction and I went through the lying and all that... and he did get help. Some churches do offer free groups for men who struggle with this issue. my husband joined one and that helped. I will say it took over a year for him to get over his addction though.. it wasn't quick. But he did it.
And the Love Dare really did help us. the movie Fireproof is really cheesy.. but it had a good message and we enjoyed watching it together.

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Quoting ℐ+ℳ=£:" Oh wow, I'm sorry you went through that... I don't think what SO has is an addiction, but my ex did, ... [snip!] ... through his issues   I hope mine does the same with the lying   I think he will, he does try, he just slips up sometimes.."

Yeah it's hard for guys. It's accepted in society mostly now so that's a big part of it.
Here is a Bible verse that also is helpful (idk if you are religious or not)

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. - Matthew 5:28

To find someone attractive is not a sin, God made beautiful people in the world. To lust after others in a sexual way IS a sin. God made sex to be something special, a gift.  

Actually, evolution made sex to perpetuate the species and that's why humans look at other humans and find them attractive even when they're in a relationship. We didn't evolve to be monogamous. Societal rules have made it "the norm", but even in so-called "Bible times", polygamy was rampant and was completely normal and accepted.

That said, I agree that porn should be discussed at the outset of a relationship... However, neither partner should try to change the other or make them feel like something they enjoy in private is bad or wrong. That just serves to drive a wedge between them and cause one to feel the need to lie and sneak around in order to be themselves.

Quoting ~*Flibbertigibbet*~:" Actually, evolution made sex to perpetuate the species and that's why humans look at other humans and ... [snip!] ... just serves to drive a wedge between them and cause one to feel the need to lie and sneak around in order to be themselves. "

Yeah, I know I shouldn't have a problem with it... It pisses me off that it makes me feel the way it does because I know I'm overly sensitive about it and it drives us both crazy. I'm trying to figure out how to work everything out. He knows I won't tolerate the lies anymore, and I know he's trying to change. So it's the thought provcesses in my head that need to change, and I dunno how the eff to do it.