re: deleted

Quoting Sami&Baby Silas:" You sound BEYOND childish."

!!!

Ok, I delt with and I am still dealing with a situation like yours. his ex went so far as to telling him if he told their kids that they had a sibling on the way that she would leave the state with them. But then she tried to start smurf by telling them two days after our LO was born. It backfired. Now the older two want to come live with us because they are tired of he badmouthing their dad. You can't say you don't want the kids around your baby though. It's going to just make you look like a psyco b****. And thats all the leverage his ex needs to cause even more drama. Being with a man that has kids from a previous relationship is not easy there is just about always baby momma drama but if you love him and want him in your life you have to be the better person. Ignore her BS and show him you can be the mature one and support him because I promise you it's not easy on him either.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" Well do you feel better now after getting all of that out? Sometimes you just need to vent so you don't ... [snip!] ... and their new brother and their stepmom. Especially if he decides to take custody of his kids. Good luck with everything."

hehe. I wish I could feel better about getting it out in the open while people are calling me a childish smurf. The reason I'm so angry is because she kept him away and was perfectly fine with her kids not seeing their father... until she found out I was pregnant.

I mean, I would love to be their stepmom in all honesty... and I can't help what I feel SOMETIMES... I'd like to think that mostly, I'm not a horribly selfish person and that's why it hurts so badly when thoughts like those pop up in my head... but they do. I can't help it, and I don't think I'd actually keep our child away from them. I know it's not fair... even though they don't seem to quite understand that another woman is carrying their baby brother... they're all kind of young. The 9 year old gets it... the younger ones... not so much... and I think their mother has been spoon feeding them lies about me because from what I've heard, they don't much want to meet me either, except, again, his oldest.

I'll probably end up deleting this post... I feel like an immature idiot for posting it, and maybe I'll take a shower or go for a walk afterward. It was probably a better idea to just keep it to myself like I had been doing in the first place because I can't stand to be attacked anymore than I'm being attacked in real life.

Thanks for the good luck though. I really do appreciate that...

Quoting doors33:" hehe. I wish I could feel better about getting it out in the open while people are calling me a childish ... [snip!] ... to be attacked anymore than I'm being attacked in real life. Thanks for the good luck though. I really do appreciate that..."

It's a lot to deal with and some people just can't be happy with the fact that their ex is happy with someone else. I completely understand that she came out of nowhere after finding out you were pregnant. That's not fair to you. But you should definitely meet the kids and show them you're not a horrible person. They'll get it.

And you're not a smurf. You just posted your inner most thoughts. You're human. Everybody has a bad thought about somebody sometimes.

Quoting doors33:" hehe. I wish I could feel better about getting it out in the open while people are calling me a childish ... [snip!] ... to be attacked anymore than I'm being attacked in real life. Thanks for the good luck though. I really do appreciate that..."

I really wasnt trying to come of as bitch towards you. If I did I'm sorry. I'm just a straight to the point type of person. But in all honesty if you want to stay with him y'all all need sit down at table and come to agreement with each other. Because bitching infront of children isnt good. And the only reason the kids prolly dont want meet you be honest is because there afraid there mother would be pissed. You dont want give his children a reason to feel unwanted. So if there one thing I can tell you take a deep breath and bite your tongue because I have feeling his baby mama will try push your buttons to get a rise out of you.

Quoting Never too late:" Ok, I delt with and I am still dealing with a situation like yours. his ex went so far as to telling ... [snip!] ... person. Ignore her BS and show him you can be the mature one and support him because I promise you it's not easy on him either."

I know it's not easy on him... he's pretty stressed out too with it all...

And thank you for actually trying to level with me, because I know from this post, I do sound a bit... not myself. I love him very much, and I'd do anything for him, and take him for all he is... I mean, when i first got pregnant, before anyone knew about it, the thought of my baby having two brothers and a sister didn't bother me at all. I was fine with it actually... but now, after everything... I know it's just stress on my part, and I know that eventually my baby will be around his siblings because that's just the way it's going to be.

I just kind of wish I met them BEFORE I got pregnant. It wasn't planned at all and happened pretty fast in the relationship...

You know, a lot of people can just tell me to not be selfish, and I probably would have been one of those people too a little while ago if I saw a post like this, but it's nice to see someone at least telling me to not be a psycho in this kind of way... I really appreciate it. And I'm guessing a lot of these thoughts come from an overdoes of hormones that I'm just not used to...

But no... it's not easy... not at all...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" It's a lot to deal with and some people just can't be happy with the fact that their ex is happy with ... [snip!] ... not a smurf. You just posted your inner most thoughts. You're human. Everybody has a bad thought about somebody sometimes."</blockquote>

Agreed!

Quoting doors33:" Never said I didn't. Never said my reasons for feeling this way were any good either... it's just the ... [snip!] ... like he is... all this is just a little too much for me on top of a lot of other things that I have to deal with right now."

it is a really big, awkward, complicated situation. and you still technically are a child! 19 years old and all of that drama? I feel for you, but please, especially for the kids' sakes, try to get through this situation with grace. Be the bigger person. Of course his ex-wife is probably going to hate you, because that is just the way things like that go some of the time. But don't let her get your down. I hope everything works out for the best <3

Quoting doors33:" I knew he had kids when I got with him... but I never thought I'd be giving him his fourth... When we ... [snip!] ... it a hell of a lot. Sometimes... I legitimately wish that the four of them... his other family... didn't even exist.  "

You're a horrible bitch, that's all I can say.

Quoting FroggysMommy:" You're a horrible bitch, that's all I can say."

Heaven forbid you ever need support during a time when you're stressed out and having horrible thoughts about somebody or something that you shouldn't be. That's all I can say.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" Heaven forbid you ever need support during a time when you're stressed out and having horrible thoughts about somebody or something that you shouldn't be. That's all I can say."

   

I understand your feelings. But you need to remember that those kids didnt ask for an immature bitch of a mother. You need to be there for them when they come visit their dad. When they get older they will realize shes looney tunes

I dont blame you for needing to vent. The first trimester is usualy the most emotional. Especialy on a first pregnancy. As far as your situation goes, being on the other end of a similar story, its hard to pass judgment so quickly. My high school sweetheart, the father of my 3 children whom I was with and married to for 7 yrs was cheating on me with a "friend" of mine from school that started working with him at his job. Since then weve gotten divorced, he let us go homeless and he and her are both mean to my children. I had to call CPS last time because he through one of our twins out (who was 6) and told her to walk home just because she wanted to call me and he was refusing to let me contact with them. To top it off she has a daughter of her own that they let beat up on my kids. She dont let her daughters father see her. Now has her calling my ex "daddy" in front of my kids, of course rubbing it in their face along with how his family now wants contact with them, but not with their biological family. He comes adn goes as he pleases. Stays gone for 7-8 months then comes back for 3 weeks- 2 months, enough to disrupt their lives then leaves again. The legal system allows this unfortunately.

Depending on where you live, alot of the courts are corrupt anjd side with the opposite of whats best for the children. It wouldnt hurt for him to push it to court tho. As far as Christmas Eve goes, if you want to be a part of his life then you need to accept his children ebcause if you get married they will be your step children, and like it or not your baby is their brother or sister too. As they get older, they learn to think for themselves and tho it may take a few years after adulthood for them to remove the blindfold their mom has placed on their eyes, they will realise it for themselves what shes done. The best you can do is treat them like family, accept them, try your best to be nice and re-assure them your not trying to be their mommy. Hope it all works out for you.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" Heaven forbid you ever need support during a time when you're stressed out and having horrible thoughts about somebody or something that you shouldn't be. That's all I can say."

Couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" Heaven forbid you ever need support during a time when you're stressed out and having horrible thoughts about somebody or something that you shouldn't be. That's all I can say."

Any girl that gets with a guy that has kids and says smurf like what she said.... not wanting them around her child.... thats bullcrap. I love my ex SO's little one as my own. I couldnt imagine being all "I dont want him around my child." To hold grudges against the children because of the mother... is disgusting. My SOs ex is not a good mother at all. I could talk smurf all day long about what she's done. But I'd never take it out on Wesley and at the end of the day... you need to ignore the parent not the child. To just not want to deal with the kids and want them around... well should of thought about that before you dicked around with a dude with kids. His first obligation is to them, then to his new child, then to his SO.